Hoping for the Best
Up at 5am and packing up to go. My dear husband had prepped my bike and put it in the car. I'd packed my bag the night before. Speaking of the night before, I'd had dinner with some mom friends, ate A TON (and called it carb loading), got home around 10pm. After packing and fighting sleep I think I drifted off at around 11:30pm. Five hours sleep, not the best start to the day but I hear it's normal for you to get a bad night sleep before a big event. I had my coffee, a bigger-than-normal bowl of Special K, and hit the road to Melissa's. I got to her house and opted to take my car because I have a bike rack on the top of my car. Bit of a mistake.
We were driving along, pointing out how the sky looked pretty good and manifesting all the positivity we could muster about the weather when -
clack, boom, bang! - something happened on the roof of the car. Oh no, a bike must have flown off! Please God, no!!! We were on the Richmond/San Rafael bridge and it was windy as hell! I pulled over and jumped out of the car and see that Melissa's bike had blown over, but not off the car, thank goodness. The back tire strap held it on. I hadn't tightened the front wheel tight enough and the wind knocked it over. We wrangled the bike down while fighting the wind and trying not to think about the bike flying over the side of the bridge in the process. So much for taking my car. But thank goodness the bike didn't fly off and possibly hurt someone.
We arrived at the fairgrounds and checked in. The skies were actually looking pretty good, the clouds had parted and we could actually see some blue. My back was hurting a bit so I took some ibuprofen for insurance. Maybe it will be a nice day.
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| Ready to Start |
"Heavy winds and rain battered Northern California on Saturday."
But it was not going to be a nice day. We'd been happily cruising along for about 13 miles when it started to rain, just sprinkling at first. I remained optimistic, after all, it was just a sprinkle and there was no major wind to speak of. By the time we arrived at the first sag stop things had changed quite a bit. The wind had picked up, it was no longer just sprinkling (but still not a downpour), and the temperature had dropped considerably. I had some peanuts, a couple oreo cookies (oreos, brilliant!) and a few bites of a banana. I called Miguel and gave him an update, "cold, wind, rain...not sure how long we'll go but we're heading back out."
Melissa and I pulled out of the sag stop and somewhere over the next 5 miles the downpour started. And the wind just kept blowing. I put my head down and pedaled. I'd lost Melissa but knew she probably wasn't too far behind. My thoughts were drifting all over the place but kept returning to the question of finishing. Somewhere along the way I settled on this, "I'll ride until I can't, and when that moment comes, I will stop. But that moment is not now."
Heavy winds and rain battered Northern California on Saturday. "It's a pretty strong front," said Austin Cross, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service. Cross said wind gusts up to 40 mph were reported in the San Francisco Bay area. -sf chronicle
If I Can
I'd been having some stomach cramps and when I sat up and took deep breaths they mostly went away. But I was probably not drinking enough water, in fact I'd barely drank any water, so I made a conscious effort to drink more. I prayed that the lunch sag stop would be indoors and provide some warmth. Neither were true. It was at a school and, while we were covered, it was still freezing cold. And I was soaking wet. I grabbed a bagel, smeared some cream cheese on it, and found a corner to stand in. A man was there helping his wife put on more layers. I had leg warmers in my jacket and asked him if I should put them on, "Put on everything you've got," he said. Yeah, that makes sense. Apparently I could no longer think and I was starting to shiver pretty bad. I pulled off my pants, put my dry leg warmers on and pulled my wet pants back on. I think I felt better. I listened to him tell his wife, several times, how much worse it was to be watching someone cycle in these conditions than it was to do it. I wasn't sure about that but he validated that it was indeed as bad as it felt.
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| Putting on a Happy Face |
People were dropping like flies. I called Miguel and gave him the update, "I'm going on." I overheard a woman ask a sag guy, "Are lots of people dropping out?" He assured her she was not alone in her very sensible decision to call it a day. Another woman, "The hail did it for me." I wasn't certain it was actual hail that we saw but it sure felt cold enough to be. I saw a woman walking her bike around, apparently looking for someone, crying. Melissa showed up after about 10 minutes and she'd only had a few bites of her food when I said I had to take off, that standing there was worse than being on the bike and I was getting colder by the minute. And then I noticed her lips. They were blue! I asked if she was ok to go on and she said she was. In looking at the pics of myself I think mine were no better.
Fingers and Toes
We started to pull out and I lost my balance while clipping in and fell. Fortunately I was barely moving, and I knew I was falling so I landed pretty well. We got back on the road and I started singing "Old McDonald had a farm...". What can I say, the cows had inspired me and I was a little nuts at that point. I was winding my way through what felt like the country and I forced myself to look up and take in the scenery. I'd lost Melissa pretty quickly and there were periods where I was entirely alone, "must look for arrows." The route was mapped with pink arrows on the ground and I did NOT want to get lost. My hands were starting to hurt, I was getting these weird tingly pains when I moved them, like nerves were frayed. And I couldn't feel my toes. I tried wiggling them around but that's hard to do in bike shoes. The wind was such that in one direction it was brutal but in the other it was not. I focused on the positive, on what was going well. I approached a couple of women and commented on the conditions, "are you going to finish?" one of them asked me. "If I can." "Good for you, we're not so sure." They pulled ahead of me for a while but then later I passed them as they were waiting for a sag car, "I'm just tired of being cold" one of them said. Totally.
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| Wet Roads |
The Worst is Over
I kept returning to my mantra. And reminded myself this would end, that I would be dry and warm again. Of course I questioned why I wasn't stopping. I kept checking in with my body and, other than the cold, I actually felt fine. My legs didn't hurt, I was in good shape. And I asked myself if I was having fun. I decided that in some strange way, I was. And that I was gaining one hell of an experience - that had to be worth something. I stopped at a sag car to fill up my water bottle, "you have more guts than I do to be out in this weather." I thanked him for the boost to my spirit and moved on.
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| Official pics (waiting to see if I can use coupon code before I buy them). I look nuts in that last one! |
I passed a Luna Bar cheering squad. Those ladies were awesome! Out there in the rain and cold, and cheering us on. I know this whole post probably sounds very dramatic and that's because for me, the day was very dramatic. I am not a super experienced rider. This is the longest ride I'd ever done. In fact, prior to this I'd only done one 50 mile ride, and that was before Marek was born. All my other rides were less than 35 miles. Anyway, I knew I was inching closer to the third and final sag stop. At lunch Melissa had said her husband, Sean, was going to meet us there with towels to dry off. He actually drove out to cheer us on at the start and was hanging around all day! I wasn't sure I was going to stop though. Towels were seeming kind of pointless and I worried that if I stopped I'd never get going again.
Somewhere around mile 45 things started looking up. The rain was no longer a downpour and the wind had died down. And mile 45 sounded awfully close to mile 67. Earlier in the day I'd overheard someone say, "They say the course is 62 miles but actually it's closer to 67", so I'd prepared myself mentally for 67. I started imagining 20 mile routes around my house and how very doable 20 miles are. I had done the same thing when I had 35 miles to go and it was helpful. I should mention the hills but with the weather taking center stage I'd barely noticed them. I know there were some, I remember fighting with my baby gear, but they must not have been that bad.
Pure Joy
I didn't decide to stop at the last sag stop until I saw it. I stopped, went pee and ate a few more Oreo's. Sean was not there so I called him. I told him where I was, "You are tough." Coming from Sean this is no small compliment, he's an Afghanistan Veteran and looks like a linebacker. With the lift in weather and being at mile 50 I was starting to feel giddy. Anyway, Sean told me he'd stopped to meet Melissa around mile 40 so she could warm up in his car. He told me that she almost quit, that it was still pouring down rain, but that after warming up and drying her gloves she decided to go on. Yay! I know how much this ride means to her and I was happy to hear she didn't quit. I asked a woman what the rest of the ride was like and she said "fairly flat." Perfect. I called Miguel and gave him the update, "much better, I think I'm going to make it." He cheered me onward.
So, 17 miles to go. My brain was toast and I kept trying to calculate how long that would take. Maybe a half hour? Uh, no. But seriously, I actually believed this for a while. Maybe I needed to. Around mile 60 my feelings went from giddy to pure joy. I am going to finish. I. am. going. to. finish. I was chatting up anyone that would talk, I was standing and pedaling up little hills, I felt good, strong. And the weather - well it was like a whole new day. I took a picture of it but because my camera was all steamed up you can't tell how nice it was. My jacket was actually drying off.
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| Sunshine! |
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I saw a sign, "Fairgrounds" with an arrow. I am so close that there's a sign! I got excited. And then, when I came around the corner and entered the parking lot I welled up with emotion. I felt so happy it was over, so happy I did it, so happy. A few tears later I parked my bike and went in the expo hall but then realized I'd left my Garmin running. I stopped it and then went to get my patch and cool socks and sample some energy bars.
Then I sat down with some food - a sandwich, hot soup and more Oreos. I ate the soup, the cookies, and a few bites of the sandwich when I started shivering again. So I headed back to the car to change. I peeled off the wet layers and marveled at how dirt seemed to sneak its way in everywhere! And oh how lovely my dry clothes felt. And I realized my lips were blue, still, after all this time. I think they stayed blue for an hour!
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| "You won't believe it, Miguel!" |
I connected with Sean and we hung out waiting for Melissa. In the meantime I cheered on other finishers. She arrived and was equally happy that she'd finished. We shared some moments from our time apart and commiserated about how awful it was at times and then headed home.
I stopped and got two pieces of fried chicken and then stopped again and got a snickers bar. I wanted what I wanted and I didn't care about the calories. According to my Garmin I'd burned over 4,000 calories so I figured it didn't matter anyway. I ate more later at home and in the end I decided to not bother counting my points or log my Activity Points and just call it even for the day.
Summary
The day turned out differently than I ever could have imagined. If I ever expect to ride in the rain again I will take better precaution. My clothes were ok, but could have been better I think. I will probably register again next year and hope lightening doesn't strike twice.
Most important, I tapped into something I didn't know was there. I had told Melissa I would not keep going if it was god awful. And then it was, but then I did keep going. I think I just need to know I can stop if I want to. Or need to. I like my new-found motivational statement. I might have to put it on a t-shirt or something.
I'll ride until I can't, and when that moment comes, I will stop. But that moment is not now.
Details
For anyone that might be interested, here are my Garmin stats:
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