Guarding the Mojo

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Ok, it's after 1pm and I'm still on the couch. It's a beautiful outside and I'm burning daylight, so this has to be quick.

First off, I'm SO on a roll. The small things I've done to keep my mojo going are working, and I'm so glad. My back hurt yesterday morning so I had to take the day off. BUT, I didn't sit around eating. I had my normal breakfast. For lunch I had a sandwich with two slices of Alvarado Street Bakery flax bread (3pts), 1oz of salami (3pts), 2tbsp of horseradish mustard (1pt), lettuce (0) and an orange (0).

By late afternoon my back felt better and I made it to the gym...which means I ran three times last week! Go me!!!!

I ran three miles outside, including Palmer hill. That hill is brutal, but I made it up. Then I went in to do chest/triceps/core. I then had to hustle home and get ready for a girl's night with my super awesome mom friends. 

My buddy Lauren hosted and made a lovely dinner of a pasta with a cream/chicken sauce, garlic bread and a kale salad (with dried cranberries and pumpkin seeds). She also served wine. She was nice enough to let me fiddle with the meal to make it work for me. I had the salad with no dressing, and cut up some of fruit she had on the counter. A few pieces of chicken and vodka with flavored pelegrino instead of wine...I felt great about my choices. I had one bite of the chocolate cake dessert. 

When you're coming out of a rough patch, and re-building momentum, all the small things matter even more than normal. I feel like I'm having to actively guard my mojo, shelter it from the wind, to keep the small fire going, to nurture it back into a roaring blaze. I can feel it building, and it feels good. 

Anyway, had a lot of laughs catching up with the girls. We've all been friends since our first babies were babies. This really is an awesome, warm, authentic, fabulous group of women and I am SO LUCKY to know them. Also, my buddy Michelle is really getting into weight training and is rocking some serious biceps! So inspiring, go Michelle!!

Jackie, Alison, Erica, moi, Lauren, Michelle, Christy, Suzanne, Laura and Laurie

Just after the get-together I hit the road for snow country. M and I had/have weekend plans to ski, snowshoe, etc. My dinner at Lauren's was light and a couple hours later I was hungry. M hadn't had dinner so we stopped at a Chevy's because it was open. I had three tortilla chips and then pushed them out of reach. I was this:close to ordering a chicken wings appetizer but in the end, made a better choice...a grilled shrimp fajita salad (veggies, avocado) with no dressing. Very satisfying.  

We finally got here around 2am, slept in, and had a lazy morning. I ate my normal breakfast, then an 11 point fruit/nut mix thing (oops! shoulda looked up the points first), and for lunch I made an egg white scramble with tomatoes and cheddar and pan fried potatoes with garlic and rosemary. Sheesh, cheese is a lot of points these days! No matter, tracking it all.

Speaking of tracking, I found the WW connect thing on the app. Not sure how much I'll use it but if you're on it, I'm mikala_sf if you want to connect. Thanks Eva for pointing it out to me. Didn't even know it was there.

Ok, I'm done. Out to enjoy the day!!

Angry Eating

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Today was a mixed bag. Mostly good, but with a little Grrrr tossed in. I felt pretty motivated when I got up this morning, and that stuck with me most of the day. I had Kashi for breakfast, fruit for snacks. Lunch went a tiny bit sideways, I was on the road and stopped in a cafe for a sandwich. I ordered a chicken breast sandwich, which came with avocado, tomato and cucumber (I had them leave off the aioli and cheese). It was served with a side salad, which I had without dressing. BUT, the sandwich was served on a croissant. I did my routine of only eating half the bread, but OMG, the croissant was so yummy and smelled like buttery goodness. I should've tossed the top half of the bread as soon as I got my sandwich. I think you know what happened. I ate my sandwich but then the other half...I eventually had that too.

But (said in a high-pitched voice), I tracked it and moved on, still feeling pretty good about myself. After work I went straight to the gym. I was actually looking forward to going. I knew it would feel good to run and I wanted to feel good. I ran a 4.6 mile loop from my gym, one that includes a hill, and that I ran a few weeks ago, when I was just getting back on the running wagon. Here are today's splits. Mile 3 is obviously the hill. (GAP is Grade Adjusted Pace, which estimates equivalent pace if I'd been running on flat land).

And here's a comparison from when I ran it a few weeks ago.

Isn't that cool? From an 11:35 pace to today's 10:33 pace. It's amazing how much I've improved already. The other neat thing is when I ran it in January my average heart rate was 154 beats per minute and today's was 148, so faster but not working as hard. Cool stuff.

Dinner was a great choice. A Morningstar Farms Spicy Black Bean Veggie Burger, over arugula with pico de gallo and spicy green salsa.

Dinner

But something happened earlier today that made me mad and it was still with me. I was irritated, frustrated, all that stuff. AND, my mom came over tonight to see the kids and brought a box of these little mini-birthday swirl ice cream cones. 

At least they are "mini"

So after the kids are in bed I had one. I knew I was eating it almost out of spite toward the person I was angry with, like some kind of "I"ll show you...". I know, it makes NO sense. Reminds me of the saying, "holding on to anger is like holding a burning coal with the intent to throw it at someone."

After eating it, I started wracking my brain as to how I was going to deal with the other seven that were still in my freezer. Because despite the fact it didn't taste spectacular, I wanted to eat more of them. And then I realized, they have to go. So before I could change my mind, I opened all seven and shoved them down the garbage disposal. Whew! Crisis averted.

Later when I tracked it and saw that the "mini" cone was 7 points, boy was I glad they are gone. Which reminds me, I need to talk with my mom about bringing stuff like this over, especially on a weeknight. The kids don't eat stuff like this generally and I get that she's grandma, but really. I mean really, right? I know my eating choices are my responsibility but it's not great for them either to be having this junk, especially during the week when they usually have fruit after dinner.

Ok, so four paragraphs about an ice cream cone. But you know what? That's how it is sometimes. This eating thing is complicated, and I believe, for me anyway, I need to understand all the complexity behind what happens, how I arrive at my behaviors, to understand how to change them.   

Back to the anger...I'm still irritated but I'm thankful that's the extent of it. I got mad earlier today, and I used it as an excuse to make a non-goal-oriented choice...but I stopped it there. Now at least I only have the anger bugging me and not guilt/regret/frustration over having eaten 3-4 of those damn cones.

Motivation Roller Coaster

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So many ups and downs! After the snowshoe weekend, I needed a couple days rest. But by last Wednesday I was ready. I went to the gym and did an outdoor run, 3 miles with a 10:43 average pace, followed by weight training. I'm nudging myself toward running three times during the workweek, plus a long weekend run, but so far the weekday run has only been happening twice a week. BUT, that's two times more than was happening before so, like I said, nudging in that direction. No complaints from me. Two is an attainable goal for now so I'm officially sticking with that.

A couple days later, on Friday, I was feeling motivated. So I ran the 2.5 miles from home to the gym, which took about 25 minutes, did a quick workout (back/biceps) and then ran home for a total of 5 miles. So impressed with myself. That night we had a family dinner at my mom's. We had ravioli with meat sauce and pasta alfredo and chocolate cake and, and, and... oh dear.

Some of the crew. Did I mention the martini situation?

I kinda used my planned long run on Sunday as an excuse to over-indulge. Lots of pasta, plus wine, and two (albeit small) slices of chocolate cake. Like I said, oh dear. 

Saturday was Spring Cleaning: the Winter Edition all day at my house. I cleared out toys the kids have outgrown, and organized and cleaned. After a hard day of work, M and I went out for dinner. I made somewhat healthier choices but did have wine. Again. It might not sound like it but I'm trying to cut down on the wine. Having an Italian boyfriend does not make that easy. Later that night we had mudslides as a kind of liquid desserts. It's been ages since I've had one of those, yummy! 

Fortunately our long run was planned for the afternoon so we had some time to recover before hitting the road. My buddy Catherine joined us on a fairly flat route at the Hamilton Levee. It was great because the route included trails and road with a fair amount of pretty water views. I forgot to take any pictures so I'll just share some Garmin info.

Can't you tell from the map it was a scenic run? With perfect running weather, low 50's and sunny. So here are my splits.

I like how my pace generally picked up as I went along. My average heart rate was only 153, though I did spend the last mile, which just happened to be running into the wind, in the low 160s. Anyway, the numbers are just for fun, the main point is, I had a very nice run. 

But later that day I started to feel a bit of a cold coming on. Ugh. So Monday I had mild cold symptoms that, fortunately, never really turned into a full-blown cold. But it was enough to throw me off my groove. I got into a funky mood and ate A BUNCH of crap over a couple of days, including Taco Bell and a bag of firey hot cheetos. And a chocolate bar. And who knows what else. Needless to say I wasn't tracking. So I got on the scale yesterday morning and saw 155. Yes, folks, 155. A full ten pounds over my goal weight.

I might be premenstrual, but still, the number was there. And it woke me up. At least I hope it did. Still, even with that, I struggled to get to the gym today. I procrastinated (and grumbled in my head) for SO long. BUT, I finally got myself there. Sadly, I only had time to run two miles on the treadmill. BUT, I ran those two miles at a 6mph (10 minute mile) pace. Bam! AND, I broke the funk. Funny how quick that can happen.

So, today included goal-oriented eating, and some exercise, and even a bit of tracking. I feel better for today. And right now, that's enough.