Baby Watch 2009

I guess I lied about my next post being a baby announcement. Now that I'm not going in to work every day I have time on my hands and energy to spare. I still feel pretty darned good though, getting around okay and not in the agony I've heard is possible. I'd say I'm in a constant state of mild discomfort with moments of more notable discomfort. The only time I really feel pain is at night when I try to turn over.

This past Monday was my first day of not going into the office. I felt pretty restless by midday so despite the rain decided to take a walk. I did this loop that I'd done a few times pre-pregnancy. It's mostly flat and 3.1 miles. Well, about 2 miles into it I was ready to be home. That last mile was a sloooow walk home but I made it. It's good to know my body still works despite my lack of any regular exercise. I haven't been on a walk since then, unless you count walking around the mall in search of breastfeeding gear.

On 2/21 my friends threw me a fabulous baby shower! It was so fun. They did games, one of which was the mystery diaper game for Miguel. So fun!

He had a fun time sticking his nose in the diapers trying to guess the food smeared inside. The cake was adorable...Isn't it cute?! And it was soooo good. I wish I had a could have a piece now.

Everything, the food, the drinks, the game, the decorations...oh and look at the adorable favors...

Alright...a couple more pics to round out this party!! Mmmm...food!

And, of course, opening gifts. We came home and organized and put away all the little man's stuff...it's so fun!!

It was such a great day!!

Speaking of great days...at my last work meeting last Tuesday my co-workers threw me a surprise baby shower! And I was indeed totally surprised. For some reason I was really tired and I was literally fighting off falling asleep. During a break I left to forage for chocolate. I came back in the office and it was decorated with balloons and a beautiful raspberry custard tart! They bought us the cutest baby outfit and a BRU gift card. We played some games and everyone gave me their baby advice/wishes. SO SWEET! I held back tears. I'm feeling very fortunate these days let me tell you.

So I have a 38 week belly picture from last week but I look absolutely awful so I'm not posting my head :) I'm going to take some new pictures tomorrow so I might be able to post something with my head.

There's the belly...I hear there's a baby in there! I had a doctor appointment that same day. What was I thinking wearing jeans to an appointment that involved a scale?! Well, the scale showed 199.7 or so. I don't think my doctor is interested in 199.5 so I rounded down to 199 given the jeans and...well, who rounds up anyway? Especially when that up means the big 2-0-0. You all know I was hoping to avoid hitting that number but, well, what can I do? At least I know once he's born I'll lose enough to go back under 200 :) Gotta look on the bright side of these things.

Oh, another bit of good news, I'm no longer measuring two weeks ahead. I'm now measuring on time. And the little man remains head down. He's already cooperating with his mama! And let's hope he cooperates even further by coming in the next 8 days. Eight days?! Ack! I'm so excited to meet him!! Thank you for all the well wishes and encouragement, it all really helps. Ok, I'm off to gestate some more. Wish me double, even triple, luck!!

The Final Countdown and Updates Galore

36 weeks 2 days. 3 weeks 5 days until my due date...only 26 days away. Oh. my. goodness. I know being a first timer I might be late so I'm telling myself to be prepared to give birth anytime in March. March 13th is just an estimate. March 13th is just an estimate. March 13th is just an estimate. Alright, how about some updates??

Baby update: The baby is healthy and everything is going well. I have been measuring two weeks ahead for a couple months now when they do the tape measure measuring ("fundal height"). Via my last ultrasound at 25 weeks I measured a week ahead. What could this mean? Well, when you're measuring "ahead" or "big" doctors might start talking about inducing early or preparing for a c-section, two things I want to avoid. I did some reading and concluded the tape measure method isn't particularly accurate, especially if done by different people each time, which it almost always is in my case. I'm not going to worry about it unless I start measuring increasingly ahead (i.e., more than 2 weeks ahead). For now it's been consistent. We'll get another ultrasound around week 38 to check the little guy again. Oh, and he was head down at my last appointment...let's hope he stays that way.

We don't have a name yet. We have a list and unless lightening strikes we'll be naming him after he's born. I guess in the end it's just been too hard for us to name someone we haven't met. This naming thing is so much bigger than I ever appreciated. I mean, it's someone's name, our son's name, which he'll have for the rest of his life. Puts some pressure on for sure!

I'm having a baby shower next weekend (thanks Reina, Joan and Kim!!) and am very excited about it. It's incredible how much "stuff" comes into your life when you have a baby. We spent this weekend re-organizing closets to make room for the little guy's accoutremonts. We haven't baby proofed the place yet but Miguel is feeling like we have a little time since it's not until he's crawling that we have to worry. When do babies start crawling anyway? Man, I'm woefully uneducated in the baby development arena.


Body update: I'm feeling pretty good generally. I have aches and pains, some days are better than others in this department. I get cranky sometimes, but not too often (though, I will admit, the frequency is creeping up). Here's a post I wrote a few days ago on the pregnancy forum I frequent:

"30 days to go. I hope I make it. I've been struggling this past week. Tired, feeling ineffective at work, my thinking is slow and I just feel sort of in a daze and I'm not used to it. It's getting me down. I feel like I want to run away from everything. Blech. I'm ready to meet the little guy and have a very tangible reason for all this."

Like I said, some days are better than others. I've been feeling alright about my weight gain, 30 pounds, but really not wanting to gain much more. I wish that influenced my food choices but I have to admit, I'm pretty indiscriminate these days. My doc said it'd be fine if I gained no more weight, or at least not more than 5 pounds. Of course I hear, "You can gain five more pounds." I am looking forward to getting back to Weight Watchers. Here's a pic of me from just the other day.

Mostly I've been in awe at what my body is doing. The fact that I'm making another human being is just mind blowing. And that it's had the ability all along and was just sitting dormant. I look down and see my belly moving around, and feel him kicking and rolling around in there and, wow, is all I can say. I am so so so grateful that everything is working just as it is meant to.

Speaking of that...labor. Ahhh, labor. I know it's coming but I'm probably in denial. We took our hypnobirthing class, which was very encouraging. I haven't been practicing the relaxation techniques. No good excuse for that. But we did choose a doula, which comforts me to no end. She's very sweet and has lots of tools in her chest to help me manage. Miguel is very supportive of the natural childbirth route and we're going to write up our preferences to give to the nurses and doctors when we get to the hospital. I have faith in my body and in my ability to do what nature made it to do. Am I sounding like a hippie or what?


Nursery update: We tried to paint a border to add a little flair but we failed entirely. So we splurged and hired an artist friend to paint the border. She also painted a scene matching our bedding above the crib. I am SO HAPPY with it!!

This is the painting above the crib:

Here's a close up! Seriously, how cute is that?! After he's born and we presumably have a name she's going to paint his name above and to the left and add a dragonfly that will match the dragonfly in the bedding pic below.

This is the bedding.

And this is the border. Isn't it cute?!

She also put a few of the dragonflies near the ceiling. I am so thrilled, which makes me happy because we were concerned about spending the money. Yay!

Etc Updates: I'm fighting off anxiety about how we'll survive without my income while I'm off work. On one hand I feel so strongly about wanting to have time to bond with the little guy and on the other I worry about finances. Miguel and I still need to sit down and go over the numbers to prepare ourselves. I just hope we don't have to wipe out our emergency fund altogether. I'm so envious of countries that pay full income during maternity leave...and then struck with how much I have to be grateful for. We'll survive. My mom has offered to help with the insurance (which we found out we will have to pay once I'm off disability (which only lasts 6 weeks!)). That will help a lot.

I heard something recently, "Anxiety is looking into the future and finding a problem." That really struck me. Why would I want to find problems in the future that haven't happened yet? I read an article about that plane that went down the other day and the folks who died on it and was struck again, anxiety and worry are so wasteful. Life is short, life can be so rich and wonderful, enjoy every positive thing that comes along. So I'm trying not to let myself worry about money. If things aren't going well we will make new decisions at the time to manage. Until then, no need to worry.

Speaking of being off, my boss has been so supportive about my taking leave. I couldn't ask him for more, which is just an enormous relief. I struggle with feeling guilty about leaving while the program is still starting up but look forward to when I can return and really get into some project ideas that are floating around in my head.

Well, that's about all I can think of. Something tells me this is a long post. And something tells me the next time you hear from me might just be when I have a picture of a little baby to post!! Whoa, it's just so hard to grasp that all this is going to result in a baby in my arms. I can't fathom what it's like to be a mom, to hold my baby (outside my womb, that is), to have a third person in our home. Honestly I think I'm in a bit of denial that this is even happening! But indeed it is. Wish me luck!

We're Almost Ready!

Miguel and I have been readying the baby room. I read advice somewhere that suggested getting the bulk of the work done before the 3rd trimester so you could relax and focus on the easy details during the last few months. I'm feeling really good that we've done that. We've taken our time too, which is nice. A few months ago we emptied out the nursery-to-be and dealt with selling or donating the contents. Miguel touched up the walls and readied the room for painting. We picked out the furniture and ordered it in early November and it arrived in early December. We painted a few weeks ago, after going through some color decision-making issues. We started out with various shades of blue and ended up with two shades of green. Finally we brought the furniture in from the garage and set it up. Fun, fun, fun.

Here are Miguel and I showing off the room. We plan to use the bassinet as the little man's nap spot during the day in the living room. Here's one of me in the glider.

I put a diaper on that little bear and he's been our stand in baby ever since. Miguel has worked so hard, seeing this picture reminds me that we used to have curtains up for closet doors and he painted and installed those new white wood doors. You can't really tell in these pictures but the lower part of the walls are sage green and the top part is a lighter green. I love it, it looks gorgeous with the dark wood.

So we have a ton more stuff to get, mainly clothes, bottles, diapers, a high chair, a stroller, carseats...the list seems to be never ending. Oh, and I would love to get some books, like Dr. Seuss and some baby books or whatever. I know you don't really need some of these things but.... Whenever I go in and look at this room I'm filled with gratitude at how fortunate I feel. Fortunate to be having a little baby, fortunate to be able to prepare a space for him, fortunate to be warm and safe with a loving husband and family. So many people in the world have so little. We're not rich, and yet we are as rich as I could hope for.

Change of subject... I've had a secret fear creeping up on me as I've watched my thighs get bigger and how out-of-habit I am when it comes to exercise and counting points/calories, etc. I found myself wondering the other day, "How will I get back to where I was?". Then I stopped myself and made the same deal I made when I first started on this journey back in February of '07, all I need to do is get back to meetings. I don't have to get on my bike and ride 50 miles, I don't have to run out the door for a 45 minute jog, I don't have to stick to my allotted points all day every day. I just need to go to meetings. The rest will fall into place. And I know I can make it to meetings. Realizing I will start at the beginning and not have to suddenly be back near the finish line eased that creeping feeling of dread.

I can't tell you how much I weigh right now because I don't know. I'm only weighing at doctor's appointments. But here's a pic I took yesterday of me at 30 weeks pregnant. I feel like my belly is so much bigger than it looks. And with 10-12 weeks to go I get nervous thinking about just how big it will get!

So I'm dutifully reading my hypnobirthing book and am looking forward to the class. I don't have any illusions about not feeling any pain in labor but I am building up my confidence in being able to manage it. I need to start listening to I Am Woman as I drift off to sleep. That part about pain seems particularly relevant :)

♫ Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman ♫

Merry Holidays to All!

I am huge believer in what the Holidays represent. For me it's about love, peace, family and gratitude. I wish everyone the best Holiday season and a fancy, schmancy new year!!

My 3rd Tri

3rd Trimester that is! Thank you all for the supportive comments. It's nice to know I haven't been forgotten :) Wow, time has really flown by lately. It seems like the first trimester crawled by, I'm sure because I was waiting to tell my mom and post it on my blog. And I hear that something similar happens in the 3rd tri, that the growing discomfort coupled with excitement to meet the new little human makes time slow down. I guess we'll be finding out.

We've been slowly readying the house. When we bought this condo 5+ years ago we took down the stair rail with a plan to get a new one. That never happened so we painted and reinstalled the old one and it doesn't look bad actually. In the nursery we installed new blinds (with blackout lining!) and have purchased new closet doors that need to be painted and installed.

Miguel is painting the room as we speak. We went round and round on colors, starting with blue ideas, but finally settled on two shades of green, a light green on the upper walls and a darker green on the lower. I love the colors! I can't wait until we can get the furniture in and all the cute bedding and stuffed animals and just everything! I purchased a pre-loved Dutailier Glider & Ottoman on Craigslist. I washed the cushion covers so those are air drying now. I think it's going to look so cute in the room. I splurged on an Organic Crib Mattress and that's supposed to arrive early next week. Man, times are getting exciting around here.

My boss is off for the next two weeks so the office will probably be really quiet. We don't have any big work projects coming up and a lot of my colleagues are off. That, coupled with all the holidays, will make the end of the year fly by I'm sure.

I started taking little walks during the work day. I'm not kidding when I say I haven't been getting any exercise. Each day on Thursday and Friday I went for a 15 minute walk. I'm going to make that a daily routine and want to add in some after work walks on the gym treadmill too.

On the birthing front we picked a class. We're taking a hypnobirthing class in January. I am really looking forward to both the education and the confidence-building that I'm sure will come from it. Hypnobirthing does not involve being hypnotized in the Las Vegas sense. It's basically a deep state of self-induced relaxation. At the birth Miguel will be there to help reduce distractions and to communicate our preferences to the medical folks.

As far as what type of medical folks will be there, well, that depends on where we give birth. As of now I'm with an OB group here in Marin and, if we stay with them, I'd give birth at Marin General, our local hospital. But we're considering moving care to a Midwifery group in San Francisco and giving birth at their birth center. That would be a compromise on the home birthing option and would have the added nicety of our little guy being born in San Francisco like I was.

We went on a hospital tour this past week and I have to say I was impressed with the nurses description of what they (the medical staff) are like there. She basically said they are very supportive of moms having whatever type of birth we want, with the ultimate goal to have a healthy baby of course. She said they don't push pain meds or interventions, etc. Of course she encouraged us to talk to our doctors since they are a big influence in all this. The maternity wing was nice and comfortable looking, though the "delivery rooms" were a little intimidating. The bed with the big stirrups and lights just doesn't seem so inviting.

We're going to an orientation in early January of the birthing center in SF. I am looking forward to hearing what they have to say about a lot of this stuff and seeing how it all fits with what we hope to have. I'm not fixed on any certain birth, I know the ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby and I know there might be cause for interventions if things happen. But I do know I want to avoid the epidural, which is another reason I need to keep moving and maintain my fitness level up to some minimal standard at least.