Re: Find Something You Love

A few posts back I mentioned that it's not always good advice to tell someone to "find something you love" when it comes to exercise. I remember hearing this advice in years past and thinking, "love? more like find something I don't hate." And what I believe is, it's probably too much to ask a sedentary, out of shape person who is carrying extra weight to find something you love. I think it can even further confirm their suspicion that they they didn't get the exercise gene, they feel convinced they'll never enjoy it and further, that people who do enjoy exercise are just different than they are.

So what to tell them instead? The truth. It will be uncomfortable at first. It will take time to build up endurance and strength. Maybe not find something you love but find something you can do. Whether it's a 15 minute walk three times a week or an aquacise class with the retired set. It doesn't matter so much what you do at first, what matters is that you do something. Early exercise habits are about just that, habit. Focus on building the habit more than on burning calories. And do it because you want the results, because you want change and you want a body you can feel good about. Do it for the same reason you clean the gutters or sweep the floor - not because you enjoy doing the work, but because you enjoy the outcome.

Over time, as you build up endurance and strength, you can begin to think about what you might enjoy and start searching for that. And who knows? Eventually, you may even find something you love. Just don't expect love at first sight. It took me years, years to enjoy running. Why did I stick with it all that time? Because I enjoyed the results, I enjoyed triathlons and running was a required part of that (or at least walking anyway) and I liked the idea of being a runner, even if I didn't really enjoy it - let alone love it. And now? I love it. I can say without reservation, I love running.

And that's the craziest change of all. I went from one of those people who thought she didn't have the exercise gene, who loved the couch more than anything, to a person who loves running, who loves exercise, who loves seeking out new ways to push my body and my mind. I had the exercise gene all along, it was just buried deep inside a too heavy body and a negative mind.

And with that, I'm off to the gym to do what I love.

Nike Women's Half-Marathon San Francisco Race Report

I'd planned to drive in the morning of the race. Which is no easy decision given the race begins at 6:30 in the morning and there are 30,000 runners. Add organizers/volunteers/spectators and the massive number of people was intimidating. But when BART (local transit) went on strike I started to panic. So I reached out to everyone I knew running the race and/or living in San Francisco, and I do mean everyone, and I was lucky enough to have my friend Irene offer me the floor of her hotel room. Whew! I met Irene some 8 years ago on the Body for Life California chat forum. That was pre-blog even (mine, not hers)! Way back then she invited me to the Muscletank website, which was my entry into online journaling and eventually led to my starting this blog. So in a way, I have Irene to thank for this blog. Irene and her husband Michael live in San Diego and despite not being all that far apart, we'd never met, until now.

So I happily packed up my sleeping bag and Big Agnes Q-core sleeping pad (that I use for backpacking) along with my gear and drove into the city. The humongous parking garage I'd planned to use said FULL but I managed to find a spot anyway. I have a feeling driving in Sunday morning would have been an unmitigated nightmare! I made my bed, ate two candy bars (a Snickers and a Reeses PB cup, if you must know) over the course of the evening, and chatted with Irene and Michael about all things running and the Nike race. This is her third time running the event so she had lots of tips and experience to share. Of course I had my period (what now seems like a race must-have, doh!) but at least the cold I'd gotten mid-week seemed all but gone.

My digs for the night. I couldn't have been happier!

Getting my gear together.

Check out that round race bib. Not a fan. Some things don't need improving. I felt like I was adding a little preggo bump to my belly. Not sure what time we finally drifted off to sleep but I think it was somewhere around 10:30pm.

The alarm went off at 5:30am and we slowly got our butts in gear. We were literally a few blocks from the start and from the hotel window I watched the masses file by. Race day, it's here! I felt in a strange no-man's-land kind of place. In the three weeks since the SC Triathlon I'd done exactly two training runs, one 8 miler and one 6 miler, and that was IT. No other training. In fact, no other exercise at all aside from a 10 mile hike. I had no idea how this race was going to play out. I'd guessed somewhere between 2.5 - 3 hours and hoped it would be closer to 2.5 hours.

We made our way to our corral (9:00 - 9:59 pace) and I felt like I was at a strange runner/rock concert. The crowd was massive. And yet I was seeing only a small part of it. I took pictures of what I could see of the crowd but there were more than 5 streets parallel to mine filled just like this. Amazing!

A look ahead

A look behind (that's a sea people as far as the eye can see!)

And a 3-person selfie of Irene, Michael and I.

It's still dark and cold outside and we're lining up with 30k people to run 13.1 miles. I think I've officially lost what was left of my mind. But at least I have good company. The race starts at 6:30am and it was maybe 10 minutes later when we were making our way to the starting line. We passed some other "corrals" (read: blocks upon blocks of people) so I snapped a picture. I think this is the 10:00 - 10:59 group but I'm not sure.

An aerial shot from the interwebs

Imagine blocks and blocks filled like that. And then I saw it, the starting line.

Here we go! (another borrowed picture)

It was still dark out and my memories of the first mile or so are hazy. I had a sweatshirt on that I'd planned to dump, a running skirt, my yellow See Jane Run half-marathon shirt and my Camelbak. The route starts mostly flat then a nice decline as we approach the Embarcadero. I wasn't sure how to pace myself so I decided to just run. Go figure. I was a bit concerned I might hit some kind of a lack-of-training wall around mile 7 or 8 but decided to just deal with it when it happens. My first mile went by in 9:51 (and included that nice bit of decline).

Mile 2 was flat and went by in 10:16 minutes. My heart-rate was in the low 150's and at that point I figured heart-rate was the best tool for pacing myself. I know low 150's means I'm not working too hard and that's about how it should be in mile 2. I felt warmed up so I dumped my sweatshirt at a donation box. Even though I'd purchased it at Goodwill for just this purpose, I still felt funny tossing it. Anyway, the start of mile 3 brought a small hill, I tackled that without issue. The real climb came during mile 6, when we started climbing from Crissy Field up toward the GG bridge. I'd had my first ShotBlok just before then.

Fortunately I've run this hill a few times in other races and in training runs. The difference is, I always peel off and head over the bridge and this time I just kept going, up, up, up the hill...all in all we climbed for about a mile. One of the longest climbs I've done on foot. We reached the top and you heard sighs of relief and even a few squeals of gratitude. And then wheeeeeee!!, what goes up, must come down, right? Here's the elevation profile.

Elevation profile

A pic I lifted from Twitter.

You go directly from running downhill to bam! Back up for another climb of about 1.5 miles. Did I walk up any of those hills? Hell no I didn't! There were moments when I wanted to stop, moments when I had to ask myself, "you want to walk, but can you run?" and the answer came back, "yes I can!". I slowed, my pace inched up to 11:21 during that first hill, 11:12 during the second, but I never walked. The slow pace was balanced by the downhills, 9:38 and 9:25 for those. Somewhere around mile 8 I also took a picture.

Run girls, run!

I'd gotten my phone out because I heard a text come in and wanted to make sure it wasn't about the kids, who were with a sitter. As if I could do something. Barring an emergency it's not like I could exactly hurry home.

Between the hills, the scenery, the funny/inspirational/encouraging signs and banners (one of my faves, "You Look Soooo Skinny!!"), the people watching (almost as good as the airport), and the occasional cheering squads the miles seemed to be flying by. I've never had the experience of miles going by like this before. From about mile 7 on I kept thinking, wait, are we at the next mile already? The scenery was a bit hampered by the fog. It never really burned off and we couldn't even see the GG bridge, despite running right by it. In fact, it stayed chilly for the entire run, which was fine as long as I was running.

After the bigger hills I see mile marker 10. What? Already? I had a second ShotBlok as we moved into GG park for a mild climb. I kept an eye on my heart-rate, and other than when climbing hills, it was fine. And I seemed to be staying roughly in the 10:00 - 10:30 range for pace, which made me happy. I passed a woman who said to her friend, "my entire body hurts," and that led me to do a body-check, I'm in some mild discomfort but really I'm fine. The body check has become a valuable tool when I'm feeling mentally tired. I mentally scan my body from head to toe and most of the time, I'm actually doing pretty good. It's my mind that gets beat. Though in this case, I hardly had time for that to happen, what with the race going by so fast!

I did have a mild crampy feelings in my calves, which is practically normal for me. But strangely my left arm kept feeling sore. As if I was holding it stiff, or it had just been let out of a cast. I kept having to shake it out for relief. But other than that and a small blister forming, I felt fine. At mile 12 I had one more ShotBlok (3 in all for the whole race), thinking, "eh, I've hardly had any, why not give myself a final boost." I finished up the last bit of incline and started mile 13, where it's all downhill or flat from there, feeling like a million bucks. I got this! I got this!! I ran the last mile while resting on a cloud - that's how I felt. And then I came around the corner onto The Great Highway to see the ocean, quickly followed by a big blue Finish sign floating over the street. I picked up the pace, and felt a rush of joy as I crossed the finish line.

Hallelujah! I never hit a wall, I never walked, I never hurt - I was a happy, happy girl!! A happy, grateful, joyous runner girl. I had a lot of time during that race to think about my life. Things aren't perfect but there's a lot to be thankful for. I will always be grateful for the health and well-being of my kids, my family, my loved ones and for my ability to experience joy and laughter and sadness and tears. The full spectrum of life, I'm alive and feeling it.

Ok, pictures and more pictures...

Earned, not given

The first thing you get is your Tiffany & Co finisher's necklace. SF Firemen dressed in tuxedos hand out the necklaces. This race knows how to treat a girl.

The X is because this is the 10th anniversary of the event. The other side says Nike Women's 2013 Marathon San Francisco. There was a card inside describing the significance of the triangle, something about a trifecta I think :)

After the necklace there's a line for your t-shirt. Lines, lines and more lines for everything. Tons of people, tons! But it was fairly well managed. After the t-shirt I got a space blanket. This was the first time I ever really needed one.

I started to get a chill. My phone wouldn't work due to about a million other people in the area trying to use theirs too so I couldn't track down Michael, who had my change of clothes. I accidentally snapped this picture of me but saved it because...look at my lips!

Gee, do I look cold? My lips are so blue!

Partly hoping I'd be warmer I went into the gear tent. It wasn't warmer but in my post-race haze I bought two shirts and a hat. Smart move, Nike, smart. I put one of them on, a pink long sleeved quarter zip, and kept trying to reach Michael. My whole body started to shiver and I seriously considered going to the medical tent, hoping it would be warm or have blankets or something. For the first time ever I could have cared less about a post-race massage. It's too cold to stand in line for that!

I happened upon the results computer and looked up my official time, 2:14:40. Woot! Guess I under-estimated my little runner legs. And heart.

What I really think is neat is my age group, 620th place out of 2983. And I finished 5997th out of 26,404 who finished the half-marathon. Not bad for a late bloomer. Finally, about an hour after I finished I was able to get a call out to Michael and track he and Irene down. I could barely talk at that point, and I all I could think about was putting on my sweat pants.

I'm wearing my space blanket backwards - doh!

Irene was happy with her time and we chatted about the race a bit before I had to leave to meet up with my tri runner girls. I found a corner inside of the lobby area and waited. Before too long Amy arrived and I told her how cold I felt. She gave me her sweatshirt (thank you Amy!!). I took off the shirt I ran in (it was still wet) and layered up all the clothes I had on top of that. It was another hour before the chill started to pass.

Starting to get warm.

I swapped that shirt for a red one, apparently they'd run out of these orange-ish ones but I like red better so that worked out nicely. Cool finisher's shirt, right? I wore it proudly today. A little wait longer and all the ladies from tri club had arrived for brunch. We sat outside but by this time I was ok, although I never took my space blanket off.

Oh yeah, we rock!

I started my meal with a Bailey's and coffee. I could've drank 6 of those. And ordered corn beef hash and eggs for breakfast. I really wanted french toast but that wasn't on the menu. We went over the race and the biggest thing was how different their experience was from mine. They all started together in the 11:00 - 11:59 corral and they said they spent the entire race having to navigate around walkers. Their description sounded downright horrible and one woman said she'd never do the race again. I told her to do it but pick a higher pace corral next time because while I had to maneuver around a few walkers here and there, it was nothing compared to what they described, "like trying to run a race down main street at Disneyland."

After breakfast I made my way back to the hotel to meet up with Irene and Michael. Packed my gear, congratulatory hugs all around, and then finally in my car. Whew, that's a long day! If it weren't for the cold I imagine I'd have felt a million times better, but I still felt pretty damn good about the whole thing. And my time, 2:14:40 - holy surprise! That's only 10 minutes slower than my PR. 

So I felt pretty good today. My left knee feels a bit tweaked, like it can't go straight when I walk, it's weird. I don't usually have knee issues and it didn't bother me at all during the race. I'm going to just rest it for a few days and hope it goes back to normal.

And then my plan is to get back to the gym. It's been forever since I've had any normal gym routine. I need to get my muscles back. And lean out some. I've been eating like a race horse. And while I am a racer, I'm not a horse. Time to scale back, tighten up, get stronger. Yours truly has some big things on the horizon and needs to look her best to represent the maintainers of the world! Or at least of the blogosphere.

Anyway, back to the race. I loved this race. Could you tell? And from now on I'm doing longer tapers. Two weeks minimum. This was an amazing experience. I sure hope I get in next year. Heck, I might even take on the full 26.2 next year.

Nike Women's Half-Marathon Packet Pick-up Extravaganza!

[PSA: "like" my blog's Facebook page to get tips and updates on my blog posts in your news feed.]

I'll start with Tuesday's dinner, for whatever reason.

Salmon patty (from TJ's), mixed green salad, brussells sprouts

There's no exercise or running to tell you about. I started to get sick earlier this week and am now on Day 3 of cold meds. I have a stuffy/runny nose, a slight productive cough and a slight sore throat. The timing is not good with the fast approaching half-marathon. I'm a little nervous given my bout of pneumonia earlier this year. There's not much that could stop me from running this race but if I get pneumonia as a result I'm going to feel a tad foolish.

I wish having a cold were my excuse for no exercise but nothing stopped me earlier in the week. Oh, other than life. I'm distracted by life right now, it's really calling on me to give it my full attention, and the exercise has suffered as a result. So I'm watching the food intake a bit more because I know I'm not burning through the calories like I normally do. And I'm being patient with myself, comfortable in the knowledge that as things settle, which they are slowly doing, I will get back to my routine. I love my routine, I love running/biking/swimming/weight lifting and all the rest, I love hiking and exploring and everything that comes with being fit and strong. I'm not worried about slipping off the exercise wagon.

I was able to sneak over to packet pick-up yesterday. But unfortunately instead of traipsing in and getting my packet I got this.

SFPD Bomb Squad

Ugh, that's never a good sign. Turns out someone left a "suspicious package" marked "booby trapped" near the Union Square park where the Nike Expo was happening. We were delayed by a couple hours. So what did I do with my time? Thanked volunteers and chatted up my fellow runners.

Meet Omar and Max, two younglings volunteering "just for something to do".

I am so grateful to volunteers, without them, these races couldn't happen. Thank you guys, and to everyone who volunteers at events! Sometimes volunteering is hard work, sometimes it's more fun than work, but it's always time freely given so us participants can have a great day, which is much appreciated.

And then I chatted up the runner chicks who were also waiting for the bomb squad to clear us. Meet Stephanie and Vonzie!

Stephanie (in the glasses), Vonzie and I

Stephanie is from Upstate New York and also ran the DC Nike event. She's doing the half on Sunday. And this is Vonzie's 3rd SF Nike event (she's a local) and she's doing the full 26.2 miles! We had a nice time talking races gone by and about our hopes for this one. Stephanie was wearing the official Nike DC shoes, how cute are these! They have DC etched into the back of them, as you can see.

Before I knew it the police were clearing us to go in. Finally!

But then, no, not quite. They cleared us to get in line but not to enter the Expo. More waiting.

At least the weather was nice

I was happy to be in a good spot in line, some people were blocks away. We all kept busy talking runner-girl talk and spectating. Another hour went by and we were finally let in. I got my packet and was surprised to find I put myself in the 9:00 - 9:59 pace corral. What was I thinking? Must have been in a super-optimistic/somewhat delusional state of mind when I registered.

After getting my packet I walked around the expo a bit - fancy! This is only my second "big" race (the SF Rock-n-Roll being my first) and I enjoyed all the hoopla. I purchased a post-race shuttle ticket and then walked around checking out the show. They had a DJ and the music was blasting, tons of people everywhere, it bordered on a run-nightclub scene. I didn't wait in line to get my free shoelaces, I was already running way late. But I managed to take a few pictures.

Fancy running digs

The route - in neon. This thing was huge. Very cool.

I matched!

The last one is the window in the Nike store with all our names on it. Of course I had to find mine.

I haven't taken a picture of my bib and swag so I'll have to put that in my next post.

Last night I went to dinner with the group-entry women with whom I entered. I had a shrimp pasta dish and even dessert (butterscotch pudding - yum!). We had a great time talking race-talk: what to wear, Camelbak vs no, corrals, expected finish times, etc, etc. I slipped on my blogger duties and forgot to take a group picture but this is one fun group of women and I can't wait to celebrate with them! We are all meeting for brunch after the race (and I'll be sure to take a group shot then), which is going to be half of what drives me to the finish line. The other half will be the necklace and finisher's shirt. Oh, and there's always my blind determination too.

So that's it. Oh, wait, one more bit of joyous news. I started my period. Can you believe that?! I just had it a few weeks ago. What is this, a thing now that I'm always going to get it pre-race? That's not a fun tradition. Good thing I'm running with the Camelbak so I can carry my necessities. Ok, so I have a cold/cough and it's TTOTM and I've only gone on two training runs since the triathlon. Yes, blind determination will be needed. And cold meds. And ibuprofen. And my inhaler. And a bit of luck won't hurt. But determination, perseverance, that's what I need more than anything. Good thing I have that. In spades.

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I am a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for weight loss and maintenance. I have an office in Marin County, CA and I'm also available via Skype. To learn more please visit my professional website at www.michellefunez.com or email me at funez.michelle@gmail.com

The Promise of a Good Run

Happy Sunday! After posting to my local tri group that, well, here's what I said...

"Anyone running this Sunday morning? I'm having a hard time motivating myself to get out there and meeting up would be just the oomph I need. I'm hoping to do 10 miles or so. No need for us to run together, just meet up and get moving, maybe coffee after if we have time."

So I put it out there and within 30 minutes I had plans (thanks Dierdra!). The Tiburon by the Bay half-marathon group was hosting a course preview, with 6 or 8 mile run options and post-run yoga. No 10 mile option but I'm not complaining. They'd also be offering snacks after. What's not to love? So I signed up for that and got my lazy butt to bed early.

When the alarm went off at 6am this whole meetup run thing no longer seemed like such a great idea. But after some hemming and hawing I got up and moving. It was chilly outside, in the mid 50's. I know you mid-westerners (not to mention easterners) are laughing right now but for this born and bred California girl, that's cold!

A good-sized crowd shows up and we get briefed on the planned route. Though I've run in this area quite a lot, I've never run this route so I'm a bit concerned about getting lost. Hopefully I can keep up enough to have someone to follow. Before too long we're on our way. And it turned out all the rest this past week made running fairly easy. Oh and the weather! Once the sun started shining all was right with the world. Perfect running weather.

While running I overheard a couple women talking about the Nike half and wriggled my way into that conversation. Turns out they've done it multiple times and had tons of tips! We also talked about parenting little ones and running, and how the two compliment each other so perfectly.

I got to the 6-mile turnaround and briefly considered going to 8 - after all, I started with a plan to do 10 - but then figured, ah what the heck, the race is next weekend, 2 extra miles at this point won't make or break me. So I turned around and happily finished strong, running my last mile in around 9:05 minutes. I can't be sure of my overall pace because my Garmin died just after we stopped and I can't find the cord to upload/charge it. I'm pretty sure my overall pace was around 9:35, which made me happy.

After the run I partook (is that the past tense of partake?) in some of the treats and watched some of the women do yoga for a few minutes.

Post run milling. Check out that weather!

Urban Remedy juices - yum!

Urban Remedy snacks. This stuff was tasty!!

I guess people use the juices to do cleanses, which (so far) isn't my thing. But they're so tasty I'd enjoy them as a snack. Anyway, my Nike Sunday running peeps were meeting for breakfast so I skipped the yoga and got on that bandwagon.

We met up at the same cafe from last time but this time I went less healthy, with pancakes, an egg and bacon. And I had some great conversation about p90x, the joys of fitness and how finding what you love is not always the best advice, at least not for the new exerciser.

Mmm, pancakes!

Well, there you have it. I'm back home and showered, just waiting for Miguel to drop off the kids. They went with him to soccer this morning while I ran around Tiburon and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. Life remains in flux over here but I'm happy to have burned off some stress this morning. I recently described food as my salvation but it's not. Running, exercise, moving my body - that's my salvation.

Vincent on Running

“If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot run", then by all means run and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh

Ok, so maybe replace the word run with the word paint and that quote will be a tad more accurate, but does the source of your doubt change the point? Not really. It still amazes me that I can be this far into my journey and yet slip into a hole of self-doubt and amotivation. The good news is, I can look at the past, when I have seen myself, time and time again, pull myself out of this hole, and not feel entirely hopeless. I remain in doubt, I struggle with fear of losing everything I've worked for, but a voice in the back of my head says, worry not, find the way you will, you do every time. Is it weird that the voice sounds like Yoda? So I try to stay in patience and faith.

I just posted to my local tri group looking for a running partner for Sunday. That ought to snap me out of this and get me moving. Nothing like a time and a place to get me off the couch.

Finally, I'm posting a draft of the new blog makeover tomorrow morning on my FB page. If you haven't liked me yet, head over and join in the fun.