Motivated by a Gain

Two weeks in a row I made it to meetings, which means I'm continuing to meet the goal I set for myself. I say that to remind myself of the goal, as it's so easy to get ahead of myself. Anyway, the big news is I gained weight. Of course I did, why wouldn't I? Not following the plan, eating a bunch of chocolate and what not. This is not behavior that leads to weight loss. Good thing that wasn't my goal :) But a gain makes an impression. The main thing is that I don't want to have more pounds to lose later. I don't mind maintaining but gaining is going backwards and I don't want to be going backwards. I gained 1.4 pounds.

What to do what to do. The talk this week focused on tracking, emphasizing that just by tracking alone we tend to do better in our eating. So I'm going to make an effort to track this week. The leader and I were talking about how I'm just back for meetings, not following the program yet, and she said, "Well, you're more likely to start following the program sooner than if you weren't coming." That's so true.

A gain is motivating. A gain says, "What are you doing Michelle?". A gain reminds me that more food + no exercise = more weight. And what does more weight translate into? More weight = less healthy. Less healthy is not good. So what did this weight gain motivate me to do?


Yep, I joined a gym! I did a little research and decided on the local YMCA. They have two facilities I can use, a small gym-only facility near my house and a large one with a pool, racquetball, basketball, rock wall, etc, etc about 10 minutes away. Both have childcare. For baby and I it's $84 bucks a month. Ouch. But I spend that much on Internet & Netflix so it only makes sense I could spend that much on my health.

After signing up I headed in to try out the old body on some cardio machines. I forgot my headphones :( I got on an elliptical and did 15 minutes. Ouch. Then I switched to the treadmill and did 15 minutes there @ 3.5mph. Ouch again. The body just ain't working like it used to. I burned 250 calories. My mind wandered around thinking about how much I used to be able to do, how fast I used to be able to go, how I could push myself hard and it felt good. STOP! You are where you are. You had a baby for crying out loud. This is the body that made your son and it is what it is.

One good thing about aging is that I care less and less what others think. My gym clothes were kind of tight, I was slow as molasses on the elliptical, and I was like a kid on the first day of school not knowing where to sign up for machines and all that. I didn't really care and that was nice. But one thing I did care about was the pain my boobs were in. Breastfeeding boobs are big and when they bounce it hurts! I need to wear a super tight sports bra so they are locked in tight.

After my gym excursion I'm not sure about signing up for the June 20th tri. Might just wait until the second or third one (they do three a year). I want to feel good and have fun, not push myself early and have a negative experience. The first one doesn't usually sell out so I can decide at the last minute if I want.

On the baby front, Marek is doing well. The big thing is he's starting to smile! It's SO friggin' cute. I need to try to get a picture of it. Sleep is elusive, poor Miguel got very little of it last night. I'm going to give him the night off tonight. Marek's gaining weight at a healthy pace, I'm still adjusting to my new life, trying to stay positive, and trying not to think about the return to work. How do people do this? One thing I have to prioritize is fitness. I imagine it's so easy to put that at the bottom of the list when you have a child but I'm telling myself it's the foundation for everything else I do. Without fitness, everything else is harder.