Where to Begin?

Seems like it's been ages since I last posted only four days ago. I think that's a good sign that I've been keeping busy. First, for the news that I've been bursting at the seams to post... I lost 3 pounds!!! I was 196 at my private weigh-in last Friday. My first thought was, "the pressure's on." My brain went immediately to thoughts about not being able to keep up a weekly three pound weight loss. How silly is that. So for a little reality therapy I scanned my weigh-ins from the past and saw how I jumped all over the place but slowly the numbers went down. Sometimes I just have to laugh at the things my brain comes up with. I'm not feeling so much pressure now but still working hard to keep my head space nice and clear.

There are several thoughts my mind tries to think that I immediately shut down before they get fully formed. One starts with, "I used to be able to..." when thinking about exercise. Another is, "If I'd only have..." when thinking about how I managed baby weight, post-baby weight, etc. Cherelli reminded me of the weight of regret and that it's not helpful. I shut that thought down quickly. The worst thoughts are the ones that are about getting down on the way my body looks. That critical self isn't helpful. I try to keep any of those thoughts out of my head. And finally thoughts about not being successful, I challenge those outright with a lot of positive self talk. I have always been a huge proponent of the power of self talk, of telling yourself what you want to be true.

During this pregnancy/baby period I have found myself wondering if I was going to go back to my old lifestyle of poor food choices and inactivity. I suspected that I could not, that I had fundamentally changed and that even if I did not return to 2 hour gym routines and 50 mile bike rides I still would not return to 230+ pounds and laying on the couch all weekend. I know I was right, I don't know what the future holds but I know it does not hold that old lifestyle. I am different, I have changed, and knowing that is very powerful.

That brings up another question I had. How do I "count" my weight loss this time 'round? Do I continue on from before from 233.8 pounds, where I was when I started way back when? Or do I start anew and count up (or down?) from 199? I think I've decided to start anew. When I went back to WW when baby #1 was still a baby I continued from before and I don't think that was helpful psychologically. So now I have a goal of losing 44 pounds altogether, which would put me at 155. I need to hop on the body fat scale soon so I can think about that too in terms of fitness. This really is a fresh start!

Before I wrap up I want to share some atta girl's I had these past few days. You already know about my walk on Thursday. I've thought back to that walk and how nice it was and how, now more than ever, every little thing I can do helps. I used to struggle with thinking if I didn't do my full gym workout exercise didn't "count" somehow. Now with the kids I really need to squeeze in every bit of movement I can. We went to a street fair this weekend and when we got there I thought, "we should have rode our bikes here". My other feat was making it to the gym yesterday. I had a very nice workout. 15 minutes on the elliptical and 15-20 minutes on the treadmill. I mostly walked but did three 1-minute jogs. I was really surprised I could jog at all. I'm starting fresh but not that fresh, thank goodness. Last night I put the c25k podcast back on my ipod. I looked at Week 1. It's a jog/walk cycle of jog 1 minute/walk 90 seconds. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet but I think I'll just give it a go and see how it goes. Maybe I'll surprise myself. Anyway, after the cardio I did chest and triceps. I could feel my abs twinge when I was rolling around on the floor with my son last night and my chest muscles are a bit sore this morning but nothing too bad. The trainer had said my ab muscles were my weakest area and I think he's right. And I need my core to be strong picking up my kids. 35 pounds of toddler is no joke!

Every opportunity to eat is an opportunity to eat well. Or it should be anyway. Do you like that complete lack of segue (you mean it's not spelled segway?)? If it's not an opportunity to eat well, i.e. when it's a pile of fun size m&m's I randomly encountered, maybe it's not really an opportunity to eat. Maybe it's just bad luck.