Funkytown

I'm in a funky mood. Maybe because it's Friday. Maybe it's because Miguel has plans to golf tomorrow and play soccer on Sunday and the weekend isn't looking very fun so far. He's been kind of enough to say, "when I get home you can go to the gym." And while I am happy about going to the gym I'd like a little more family time and also don't look forward to keeping the two kids busy by myself. It's not all by myself, on Saturday morning we have playgroup so that'll keep us busy all morning. And on Sunday I could take the kids to watch the second half of Miguel's game. We'll see...in any case, I'm in a funk at the moment. Now how to not turn a funky mood into an evening of grazing is the question.

Oh, yes, it's Friday...weigh-in Friday. I lost a pound. There should be a set of exclamation points after that but I'll be honest, I was hoping for a bit more. Feeling disappointed over a weight loss is not like me. I have given umpteen lectures to people who engage in this ridiculous behavior. My head and my heart are just not in sync. In my head I am happy to have had a loss. I know that if I lose a pound a week, this time next year I'll be 52 pounds lighter and that would be AWESOME! And I am actually fine with that pace. Which is all the more reason why my blase attitude toward the pound weight loss doesn't make sense. Well, feelings often don't make logical sense. I think the first week 3 pound loss is also partly to blame. I was afraid it might set my expectations too high and I think it did a bit. Alright, let's just pretend I never wrote this paragraph.

I lost a pound!!! Yay me! I worked hard this week and saw results. More importantly, my clothes are fitting better and I am feeling better about myself. The pants I wore today were getting tight before and today they fit just right. I'm pretty sure I'm walking taller and I know my energy has increased significantly. And I got a compliment from my husband this morning. So altogether, in the four weeks since I got back on the wagon I've lost 4.5 pounds. And I bet I've gained some muscle. My arms and legs are already feeling firmer.

That line of thinking feels so much better. Throughout the day I thought about my morning reaction to the scale. At one point I wondered if I should go back on WW. But I know instinctively that I'm just not ready for that yet. What I'm doing now feels right, and it feels like enough. I do not want to overwhelm myself. And furthermore, I lost a pound for crying out loud! When I was on WW a pound loss was reason for celebration. Today is just an off day, I guess, because in my head I am really pleased and don't need to be looking to speed things up. I also thought about passing on weigh-ins for maybe a month, and just go with how I feel, how my clothes fit. I am seriously considering it. We'll see how I feel once this funk passes.

Whew, I feel a lot better getting all that off my chest. It's like it has freed up space in my brain so I can relax and be optimistic again. Ok, so the plan for this weekend includes two gym trips and at least one family outing. We're facing some hot temps this weekend so I'm thinking it might be time to hit the beach!!