Anyway, back to the jeans. They fit! They are a little snug. I know they'll be absolutely perfect when I lose a few more pounds. But I was so astounded, so happy that I could even put them on I went ahead and wore them to work. In case you don't recall (who would?) they are a size 8 pair of Gap jeans, the kind that are a bit like slacks. So happy to be able to wear them.
I'm moving forward in the physical department but I'm a bit stuck in the mental department. I want that I'm Here feeling back. I don't feel that right now. I still feel like a fat person. I still feel big. Maybe when I lose 10 more pounds and my stomach fat goes down a little I'll feel less big. Geez, I hope I don't have some kind of pregnancy fat on my stomach that's never going to come off! Please don't comment and tell me that happened to you, I don't think I'm ready to hear that. I mean, I know my body is different after making two human beings but I don't want to hear that my stomach will pooch out forever.
Anyway, back to today. I read somewhere that if you have cold symptoms in your head it's fine to exercise but if they're in your chest you should rest. Mine are all in my head so I went to the gym after work. The upright bike was on the agenda so I hopped on for 25 minutes. I decided it was time to move up from random level 6 to random level 7. A few minutes after starting I wondered if it was a good idea to up the difficulty given that my last workout was a leg/shoulder day but in the end things went alright. It was definitely a challenge. The program had longer periods of the harder levels and none of the low levels that level 6 would give you periodically. I finished up giving myself an imaginary pat on the back for a job well done.
Next up was back/biceps/core for strength training. I did my usual bicep curls, assisted pull ups, and single arm rows and also the newer things I'm doing, the Swiss ball back extension and my new favorite, the jackknife. I did 3 sets of the jackknife, 12, 10, and 12 reps. I found out you can sort of cheat by letting your body drift back a little, it makes things easier, so I tried not to do that by keeping my arms straight but boy is it hard. I was groaning a little and probably really red in the face. Not romantic when it's happening at the gym.
I finished up with some relaxing stretches and then high-tailed it home to make dinner. The good thing was I made a huge batch of turkey meat loaf last night, with enough leftovers for tonight, so the bulk of the work was done. I threw some sweet potato fries in the oven and voila! I was starving and probably ate too much. But who cares? Because I wore my size 8 Gap jeans today and too much dinner isn't going to change that.
p.s. I just started feeling crampy. Is it that time of the month again already? Ugh. A cold, a too-busy schedule and my period. Where's my Super Woman cape? I think I'll be needing it.
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Yay for getting on the skinny jeans! But if you have your period coming then you do know you can expect a few "fat days" don't you? It happens to everyone I'm sure (at least it does for me - one day I'll be thinking "uh huh girl, you lookin' gooood", and within 24hrs I will be blocking the mirror from my view...) Anyways, don't let your mind run away with negatives, you are looking and doing great!!!
ReplyDeleteWOO HOO! It's always nice to get a reminder that you're not as big as you are in your mind. Good for you and your Gap jeans!
ReplyDeleteMichelle- Love your blog. The flow, the honesty, and the timing were just perfect for me on this chilly Tuesday night. So many of us can relate. Wow!, I smiled when I read you were back in your jeans. Maybe it's not such a big deal because you've been here before. Or maybe you have a cold, and don't give a sh#$. Soon, you will be sporting what ever size you want! As for the cold...I haven't seen any published data in the medical journals (wink wink) that it's okay to work out if it's not in our chest. A cold is a virus, and is a signal to slow down, hydrate, enjoy your size 8 jeans, and just be. If you feel inspired to get on the bike...go at it. If you don't, then I recommend hydration, and maybe a warm bath, candle light, rest, sugar free popsicles if your throat is sore, lots of love, and a good nights sleep. Thank you for your inspiration and magical words.
ReplyDeleteCherelli - thanks for the reminder. I could totally see myself getting down when the scale creeps up, especially if the pants go from being snug to not fitting at all. I'll remind myself of your words.
ReplyDeleteMeg - Thanks!! I need to work on my mental image. I believe that I you stay *fat* in my mind, and never internalize being smaller, then that will eventually lead to relapse. Maybe my next post should be all about this so I can get my mind moving in the right direction. I appreciate your support and encouragement!
Katie: Thank you. It still is a big deal. In my mind, for the past few years, those jeans, that size, were like a dream memory that didn't seem possible again. I'm still in a bit of denial though and I know how important it is to acknowledge progress and get my mind caught up to my body so I'm working on it. What good is losing all the weight if I'm still going to *feel* fat, right? Thanks for the non-laymen medical info. If I do back off this week that will make me feel a bit better about it :) I think I'll make some tea. And back at ya - Thank *you* for your inspiration and magical words. I'm humbled.