In the afternoon I went shopping while Miguel was home with the napping kids. I walked around a lot, which I figured had to help balance the food intake. I had a plan to eat a sandwich with an apple for dinner for more balancing. And I did. But I started feeling bingy about an hour after dinner. I say bingy because I wasn't feeling hungry - I just wanted to be eating. I won't give you the blow-by-blow but within the next few hours I'd eaten 2 bowls of Cheerios, 1 bowl of Frosted Flakes, a handful of crackers, some whipped cream (out of the can!) and 1.5 one-ounce chocolate bunnies. I wasn't hungry at any time during all this eating. And I was asking myself repeatedly, Why are you doing this? But I didn't have an answer and I couldn't seem to stop. I finally went to bed, which is what I should have done in the first place because I was quite tired.
I got up this morning and started thinking about exercise. I had the brilliant idea to go on a longer run and then think of my binge the night before as carb loading! I have to be careful though, exercise is not punishment. Exercise is mostly for all positive stuff I get out of it and because I like it. If I force myself to exercise more when I make food mistakes then it becomes something negative, something punitive. But I didn't feel like that was happening here. This felt more like, "I made a mistake but if I do this I'll feel a lot better about it." I still think this is the thinking that eating disorders are made of but I'm not worried just yet that that's where I'm headed. Besides, I'm sure you'll let me know if I start sounding like I've gone off the deep end that way.
I started the day with a mom's club breakfast meeting. I had an egg white omelet with no cheese and fruit on the side. Good. For lunch I had leftover salsa chicken with rice (chicken, black beans, salsa verde) and a salad. More very healthy choices. Miguel got home from his soccer game I headed out for my run. It was hot as heck outside so I went for a trail run in a shady area. You know, this might be my first trail run. If I've done this before I don't remember. Anyway, I did this loop that included a couple good sized hills. The first time around the loop I was able to run the whole way but the second time I had to walk the hills. Here's an elevation profile to give you an idea:
Anyway, after the run I took the short drive to my gym and did back, biceps, core work. Fortunately I'd taken an AccelGel before my run or I'm not sure I would have made it. I felt much better about my weekend after my exercise.
I came home to find my husband and kids at a neighbor's house and we ended up having dinner over there (Thanks Karen and Nestor!). I had salmon, some grilled chicken, cous cous, beans, salad - it was all very good, and healthy. I was going to have wine but in the end decided to skip it. I needed today to be all about healthy.
Well, there you have it. A low moment but otherwise a good weekend. And now I'm headed to bed for some much needed rest. I hope my calves don't hurt too much tomorrow! Oh, and a quick Thank You to my facebook peeps for the pep talk yesterday, I am so lucky to have your support!
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Nice work on the run! "Bummer" on the carb binge....it's good to try and work out what is causing that switch of wanting to eat/sabotage yourself (which is kind of what that voice is doing)...but also to be aware that certain forms of exercise may cause your to crave carbs more (as well as certain foods). This is something I have found since trying to eat predominantly "paleo" and is published in a few different areas also. Long bouts of cardio exercise - especially daily (vs every other day) - can contribute to the body thinking it is carb deficient, as the body is burning mostly carbs, so it is recommended that cardio exercise (incl short intense bursts of 20secs within the workout) is done at most 4 times a week, with the other days being purely strength training/muscle building or rest. I don't know that you are doing too much cardio but it is a big change for your body, and combined with the WW diet may be shock and hard to mentally sustain?
ReplyDeleteAnd then, what you eat. An apple is really quite high on the blood sugar scale (even combined with a sandwich where wheat in bread is also high on the GI scale)...so within an hour or so after eating you are left craving carbs/sugar...a better meal would have been one with a little fat and protein for satiety and to curb cravings - ie turn that egg white omelette next morning into a full egg omelette instead for dinner...
If your interested there are two great webssites to look at to start: Marks Daily Apple and Robb Wolf - loads of information on what I mention with many great success stories/articles on new research.
Oh, and I think it's smart that you are watching your thinking...I have been there (I'd be lying if very occasionally I didn't also give myself grief on eating too much) - it can become a vicious cycle; sometimes you have to accept that your body may be triggered into eating through a slight backslide in thought patterns or a set up in cravings (esp during PMS time!)...but be okay with it to a point, remind yourself of all the great work you've done, that you are looking fantastic becuase of your work...and it's okay to have a slip now and then. It'd be unrealistic to not have slips....!!
Thank you SO MUCH! I checked out both websites and will be following them on FB to pick up more knowledge/information. I should have had more protein with dinner, I am a big believer in protein. Not doing Paleo just because I don't like anything that eliminates certain foods but definitely see the benefits from a whole foods angle. You always give me such great, informed and supportive feedback - thank you!
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