The Definition of Insanity

A brainy guy once said it's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Well slap that label on me because that's what I've been doing.  Okay, not entirely.  I've made some big improvements in the eating department during the day.  I've stopped the random purchase of candy, chips and other junk food - which was really "bad" - and now I'm left with the evening snacking to tackle.

Funny how, on this journey, we have to learn and re-learn and then learn again.  Shift, dodge, dive and tackle, the game never ends.  But it's always more fun when you've got winning momentum on your side and when I check the scoreboard, I'm winning by a wide margin.  So I'll use that momentum to keep chipping away at these bad unhelpful habits that've put me on the defensive.

As has been the case, exercise continues to go well.  My body is asking for a break but I'll tell you the truth, I'm inclined to push it for now.  I like the feeling of power and force I get when tackling (there goes the football metaphor again) and overpowering my workout.  That said, I think next week I'll do recovery week protocol - a little lighter and easier all around. 

Yesterday was a gym day - 25 minutes on the upright bike, level 8, random.  I played around with the bike until it gave me what looked like a slightly easier "random" route.  Then it was back/biceps/core for strength training.  My lower back was wincing a bit here and there, not sure where that came from, but everything else worked well.  And I was aaaalmost able to do two sets of 4 pullups.  This pullup thing is going way slower than pushups but it's the nature of the back, a hard part of the body to strengthen (or so my fellow gym-rats tell me).  But I won't stop until I get to three sets of 8, however long that takes. 

After the kids were in bed I again had some cookies and a couple dinner rolls.  All this despite plans to avoid any late night snacking.  I was thinking about this today, trying to figure out what's going on, when I had the idea to have a more substantial after dinner snack.  Except instead of junk like cookies and bread, I'll have something healthy like Greek yogurt and fruit.  Maybe I can use a hearty snack to transition away from the junk.  And then eventually I might not need the snack anymore at all.  That's how things used to be.  Sometimes I'd have a cheese stick or a couple crackers but not this eating, eating, eating thing that's been irritating me.  Though it is not irritating me, there is no it, my choices are irritating me.   And the good news is, I am the one who makes my choices.  So if I want the irritation to stop, and I do, I need to make different choices.  Sounds so simple, doesn't it?  And sometimes it is, but sometimes it's not.

Today was a weird food day.  I had Grape Nuts for breakfast (I've gone back to them to add variety but just one box, I won't be keeping them in the standard rotation) and a banana for a mid-morning snack.  Come lunchtime I was all tied up at work and missed the cafeteria lunch hour.  So I had a Clif Bar instead.  Then I had a cheese stick before hitting the gym.  You'd think I would have been starving but I actually felt okay.  Probably still topped off from all the food last night.

After work I hit the gym.  I got there later than planned and instead of my normal 3 mile run I only had time for 2 miles.  So I pushed it and ran the two miles in 17:15 which is, what, an 8:37.5 pace?  Yep, yep.  Then it was on to chest/triceps/core for strength training.  I did a couple sets of my pushups with my feet up on a bench instead of on the ground.  Woooo, that was hard.  And my lower back was not happy to be doing decline crunches.  I focused hard on keeping my ab muscles tight to give it all the support I could but really, I need to just drop them for a while.  I hope somebody somewhere is playing a tiny violin for me. 

I had black beans, cream, avocado, a flour tortilla and half of an avocado for dinner.  And later I had an oatmeal cookie.  And I'm hungry as I write this so I think I'll have a bowl of Kashi GoLean.  That's healthier than more cookies and/or bread.  And then, I will go to bed.  Just as soon as I finish watching Newlyweds: The First Year.  Because bad TV has no calories!