Be Still (and Youth Track Races)

Low moments in life are hard. I'm knee deep in one now. I breathe, I take the next step, breathe again, and just try not to stop moving for too long. I'm sure that's one reason I've kept myself so busy lately. Just don't stop moving.

Well, this weekend I plan to stop moving for a bit. I'm doing it in a funny sort of way in that I'm headed to Lake Tahoe for the weekend with a cycling group. The group is doing a 24 mile ride on Saturday and the 72-mile ride around the lake on Sunday. Not sure I'm up for either but I'm going anyway. I'll decide how I feel once I'm up in the thin mountain air. Other options are a run or a hike.  All that said, even in movement, I hope to be still.

Things remain the same in the food and exercise department. My eating is marginally better and exercise remains promising. Not promising, more like damn good. Last week started with a Memorial Day run with my tri training peeps. I ran 4-miles in an area in which I'd never run, it was absolutely gorgeous! There were some wetlands with tall grasses rising out of the water, and the sun shining on the hills in the distance...I nudged myself to get lost in the green beauty of it all. I find if I can do that, I can carry that moment with me through the day, or even in the coming days. No music, no talking, just running...my breath, my body, movement and serenity.

After that my mom and I took the kids to a youth track race. It was so cute!

Marek was really nervous about running, at first saying he wouldn't, and then saying only if I held his hand the whole time. But then, ready...set...GO! And he was off like a bolt of lightening.

In the end he ran three "races", the 50 yard (or was it meters?), the 100 and the 400 meters. 400 meters was all the way around the track. Kids don't know how to pace themselves so it was a series of sprints with near stops as he lost energy but each time I was able to rev him up again with an on-the-go pep talk. After he crossed the finish line he puffed up with pride, "Mommy, I didn't think I could do it but I could!!" A life lesson youngling. [For both of us, see how he later inspired me with this statement to also do something I didn't think I could do].

Myra was one-and-done. We later found out she had strep throat so no wonder. Poor girl was a trooper considering she was sick and we didn't know it. She did have me hold her hand the whole time, a job I was proud to do.

Maybe I'll re-package this post at some point and add to it my Race Reports page. After the run we went straight to breakfast and I held nothing back. Omelet, hash browns, buttered toast...and then to a party at a friend's place. The kids got in the pool some but it was too windy for me. Instead I had a few drinks and did my best to lounge while the kids played. And then the holiday weekend came to a close.

Tuesday I hit the gym. I rode the upright bike for 25 minutes and then did legs/shoulders/core. Again I did as much of my regular routine as I could. My back is paying the price for that right now so I'd better take it a bit easier. My legs were sore on Wednesday so I decided that would be a day of rest.

Thursday I went to the gym again. I started with an outside run which I think was around 2.4 miles. It was super hot out and because the distance was shorter (than my normal 3 miles) I decided to include a monster hill. I had to talk myself up that hill, reminding myself that I don't quit. I. don't. quit. Don't get me wrong, walking is not quitting...but for me, in that moment, it was. And I had to say whatever I had to say to keep myself going. 80+ degrees and a ridiculously steep hill...it had to be done.

After that I did chest/triceps/core. I was out of time before I could complete everything but I managed  to get my pushups and enough triceps work to feel like I'm making progress. Not sure if I'll have time to get to the gym today but it's on my mental list. If not, maybe I could sneak in a run tonight once I'm up at Tahoe. Or pay a day-use fee at a local gym. I'm not too worried, I know my body will see plenty of action this weekend. Wait, that doesn't sound quite right. Eh, you know what I mean.

Food? What to say. I'm working on things. And I'm reminding myself that each time I fall out of my normal habits - whether it's due to illness or an injury or a slump or all of the above - each time I ease back into things, and as I ease in, everything slowly falls back into place. The point being, I'm trying to be mindful, make conscious choices, and not see having a whopper jr (hold the mayo) and a small fries for lunch, followed by some pseudo-healthy quinoa cluster snacks - as a sign that I'm failing.

I'm not failing, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I'm over my goal weight a bit but that should come as no surprise given I had major surgery. I'm moving, more often than not I'm making good food choices, and I'm thinking, blogging, paying attention. This is what real life success looks like. At least for my real life.

I won't be blogging from Tahoe but I'll post as many pics as I can before my battery dies. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter to keep up.