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I'm writing because I told myself I would. And sometimes that's as good a reason as any.
Last night I hosted a good friend's 30th birthday gathering. We had a great time and there was wine and appetizers and the after-party cocktails. Very fun. Fortunately I didn't overdo the alcohol and felt fine this morning.
Today was a lazy day at home with the kids. We hung around the house most of the day and then I managed to run a few errands this afternoon. The day seemed to slide downhill though, in terms of my mood anyway. A buildup of stress. Tomorrow is a busy day and I have a lot to focus on.
No exercise today but I will do my very best to get some tomorrow, I'm going to need it. Eating remains imperfect bordering on downright disastrous at times but I'm striving to be kind, caring and patient with myself.
I'll close with a bit of song lyric that really struck me anew today..."I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." Yep, I can relate.
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So good to see you writing again, Michelle! I don't claim to know what stressors life has thrown your way, but I've certainly had my share over the past several years, and do understand how hard it can be to keep on swingin.' Lately I'm barely holding on with 3 short runs a week, and I can't seem to break off my torrid love affair with Skippy Super Chunk (who knew even carrots taste better dipped in peanut butter!), but on the other hand, I haven't teetered off the ledge into the abyss of my old binge-eating ways, either. I'm doing the best that I can given the current circumstances of my life, and in the process, I'd like to think that I'm regrouping and gathering the strength to fight for an even better version of myself on the other side of all this. Like you said above, I'm also learning to be kinder to myself, and am making a point to end the day by noting what I did well, rather than dwelling on what I did wrong, or the workouts I didn't do. I've long known that most people in my life respond much better to positive reinforcement than to criticism, so why has it taken me 40 years to learn this about myself?! Anyhow, this is a long-winded way of saying that I still find your story seriously inspiring, so please don't ever let "disastrous" eating days or missed workouts make you feel somehow diminished. You are doing great, and will be where you want to be in terms of nutrition, weight, workouts, etc. once you have the time and energy to fight again. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you are hanging in there - it's okay! Life gets busy (heck have you checked the number of posts I have made in my blog in the past YEAR? Sad, but there ya go.) Keep being kind to yourself - reach out if you need a hand. Best wishes for 2015!
ReplyDeleteMichelle, Can I suggest you just enjoy the imperfection of your eating right now? It will be okay and you will get back on track. Gentle and generous. I'm trying to do the same. :)
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