The Scale Beckons...

So much for staying off the scale for a month! I shoulda known I'd never make it. So a few days ago I noticed that my ankles looked less like a continuation of my calf and a bit like ankles again. That got me to thinking maybe I've lost some of this water weight. That got me to thinking about the scale and next thing ya know...181.2 and 38.5% body fat. So, with a pre-pregnancy weight of 164.8 and a current weight of 181.2 that puts me at -16.4 pounds from my "official" pre-pregnancy weight, and 22.4 pounds from my low of 158.8 pounds. I'll take it!

So the next question is when should I return to Weight Watchers? My plan is to start to meetings and learn the new Momentum program but not put any pressure on myself to actually follow the plan. I'm just going to go to meetings and see what develops naturally. Maybe I won't start following the plan for a few weeks, maybe I'll be inspired and start right away, maybe I'll make incremental changes and sort of slowly start following the plan. I don't know, but I know the only expectation I want in the beginning is to go to meetings. This method worked really well for me when I initially started WW back in February '07. Wow, it's been over two years since I started WW.

I looked up the meetings and my old meeting is gone :( The only one at that location is a 9:30am weekday meeting. 9:30am?! Hmph. Not gonna happen. The only other evening meeting nearby is at a location where the meetings are big. I don't like big meetings, too impersonal. But I guess if I have to choose between 9:30am and big/impersonal it'll be big/impersonal.

I'm going to the doctor on Friday for my postpartum checkup. I suppose this is a good place to get an opinion as to when to start back. The docs there are of varying fitness levels, and this is just based purely on my observing body size, which I know is wrong. On Friday I'm seeing the super-skinny one who wears chic clothing and high heels. I'm guessing she'll tell me to start back right away :) Assumptions are fun aren't they?

Well, looking back over my pregnancy weight gain I am pleased with how things went. In a lot of ways I could have done better, mostly with maintaining a better activity level. The exercise quickly became nearly non-existant. The food was hit and miss. I went through phases with the eating, sometimes out of control, sometimes not. After a while the novelty of eating sort of wore off and in the last trimester I didn't gain as much.

I am more enthusiastic about getting back into shape now that I have a little guy to keep up with. I want to be able to have fun with him and go on adventures and not be held back by being out of shape. I want a hike to be fun and easy, not a challenge. Anyway, he's inspiring me.

Well, it's taken me three days to complete this post. Welcome to my new life I guess, eh? I'll close with a new pic of my little guy :) How sweet is he??!

All About Baby

Eat, Sleep and Poop...and cry occasionally. And coo, and smell REALLY good.

Some pics from leaving the hospital and our first day home.

Here he is in his first outfit. He's all snuggled up to go home!!

And here we are in the car. Dad's loading him in and mom sees her tummy is quite a little pooch still :)

I made the mistake of weighing myself post-partum. At Week 37 I weighed 199.7 and resigned myself to going over 200 pounds, something I didn't want to do. Well, surprise, in the following weeks I gained no weight, even lost a little. I was 198 at my 40 Week appointment! Wow, wow, and just wow. I made it to the end without going over 200 pounds. I was pretty darned close, but never had to move that big silver thing to the next slot on the scale.

So I made the mistake of getting on the scale at the hospital 2 days post-partum, expecting to have lost 10-15 pounds. Nope, 196. What?! I lost 2 pounds after giving birth to a nearly 8 pound baby, plus placenta and all that? The nurse was very encouraging, told me it was probably a lot of water weight, and made me promise not to get back on the scale for a month :) Well, we'll see. For now, I'm happy to be healthy and home.

Here's our snuggle bug in his little nest. Mom and Dad didn't know how to use the Snuggle Nest, those bumpers should be down around his hips. We fixed it later. He does not appear to be traumatized as a result of our error.

Could he be any cuter? I don't think so but I might be biased. Oh! The artist friend we hired, Tricia George, finished the mural now that we have a name. Cuteness x 10!


Five million thank yous for all the congrats and well wishes. I am so grateful to all of you for your encouragement, support and enthusiasm. Helps to keep it all in perspective and just enjoy the moment.

Marek Leigh is here!

3/14, 12:18pm.  7pounds 15 ounces, 20 inches long. Perfect in every way.

I went in for my 40 week OB appointment on my EDD this past Friday 3/13 at 5:15pm. Had my first cervical check and was 1cm dilated, 70% effaced. Had some bleeding and cramping afterward, which doc said was normal. The cramping got worse and worse, increasingly intense and long. I started to wonder if I might be having contractions. I went home and by 9pm we were timing them and they were about 2-3 minutes apart. We paged our OB at 10pm but didn't get a call back until around 11pm, doc said to go into L&D to get checked.

We got to L&D around 11:30 and I was 5cm dilated. Was immediately moved from a triage room to delivery. Our doula arrived and I labored until around 5am without medication and made it to 8cm. I was planning to have an unmedicated birth but by this time I was not tolerating the pain well, I was exhausted, and asked about an epi. I was happy to have gone that far but I didn't feel I could handle 2-3 more hours of those contractions and then pushing. The baby was still -4 station. She was concerned that he hadn't dropped at all. She broke my water, hoping that would help him drop. I got the epi and several hours later he still hadn't dropped at all. They tried pitocen to see if that would get him moving but he didn't budge. His heart rate was dipping periodically and I was beyond exhausted. By 11am the doc (new doc, changed shifts) recommended a c-section. He basically said "we don't know why he isn't dropping, it's very unusual so we think something's stopping him". I was so exhausted by this time I wasn't going to debate it. We went in for surgery and he arrived screaming at 12:18pm.

When doc saw baby he said, "oh yeah, this guy was never going to move down". He was sunny side up and that's the only reason doc could see why he wasn't dropping. Cord was around his neck so that was causing the dip in heart rate during contractions when he was being pushed down but not moving. Doc diagnosed "failure to engage" as reason for needing c-section.

I was blown away at hearing him scream. Miguel got up and watched them take care of him and they brought him over and laid him on me. I stared in awe. Miguel left with him while they stitched me up. Miguel and baby came back to recovery and we nursed him right away, he's an amazing nurser!

I didn't have the labor and delivery I hoped for. My mother had all c-sections and Miguel and siblings were all c-sections so we joked that we were doomed. I'll never know if I had avoided the epi if he would have dropped but I can't complain at this point. Seeing him sleep next to me is all that matters. I have the baby of my dreams and couldn't be happier.

Baby Watch 2009

I guess I lied about my next post being a baby announcement. Now that I'm not going in to work every day I have time on my hands and energy to spare. I still feel pretty darned good though, getting around okay and not in the agony I've heard is possible. I'd say I'm in a constant state of mild discomfort with moments of more notable discomfort. The only time I really feel pain is at night when I try to turn over.

This past Monday was my first day of not going into the office. I felt pretty restless by midday so despite the rain decided to take a walk. I did this loop that I'd done a few times pre-pregnancy. It's mostly flat and 3.1 miles. Well, about 2 miles into it I was ready to be home. That last mile was a sloooow walk home but I made it. It's good to know my body still works despite my lack of any regular exercise. I haven't been on a walk since then, unless you count walking around the mall in search of breastfeeding gear.

On 2/21 my friends threw me a fabulous baby shower! It was so fun. They did games, one of which was the mystery diaper game for Miguel. So fun!

He had a fun time sticking his nose in the diapers trying to guess the food smeared inside. The cake was adorable...Isn't it cute?! And it was soooo good. I wish I had a could have a piece now.

Everything, the food, the drinks, the game, the decorations...oh and look at the adorable favors...

Alright...a couple more pics to round out this party!! Mmmm...food!

And, of course, opening gifts. We came home and organized and put away all the little man's stuff...it's so fun!!

It was such a great day!!

Speaking of great days...at my last work meeting last Tuesday my co-workers threw me a surprise baby shower! And I was indeed totally surprised. For some reason I was really tired and I was literally fighting off falling asleep. During a break I left to forage for chocolate. I came back in the office and it was decorated with balloons and a beautiful raspberry custard tart! They bought us the cutest baby outfit and a BRU gift card. We played some games and everyone gave me their baby advice/wishes. SO SWEET! I held back tears. I'm feeling very fortunate these days let me tell you.

So I have a 38 week belly picture from last week but I look absolutely awful so I'm not posting my head :) I'm going to take some new pictures tomorrow so I might be able to post something with my head.

There's the belly...I hear there's a baby in there! I had a doctor appointment that same day. What was I thinking wearing jeans to an appointment that involved a scale?! Well, the scale showed 199.7 or so. I don't think my doctor is interested in 199.5 so I rounded down to 199 given the jeans and...well, who rounds up anyway? Especially when that up means the big 2-0-0. You all know I was hoping to avoid hitting that number but, well, what can I do? At least I know once he's born I'll lose enough to go back under 200 :) Gotta look on the bright side of these things.

Oh, another bit of good news, I'm no longer measuring two weeks ahead. I'm now measuring on time. And the little man remains head down. He's already cooperating with his mama! And let's hope he cooperates even further by coming in the next 8 days. Eight days?! Ack! I'm so excited to meet him!! Thank you for all the well wishes and encouragement, it all really helps. Ok, I'm off to gestate some more. Wish me double, even triple, luck!!

The Final Countdown and Updates Galore

36 weeks 2 days. 3 weeks 5 days until my due date...only 26 days away. Oh. my. goodness. I know being a first timer I might be late so I'm telling myself to be prepared to give birth anytime in March. March 13th is just an estimate. March 13th is just an estimate. March 13th is just an estimate. Alright, how about some updates??

Baby update: The baby is healthy and everything is going well. I have been measuring two weeks ahead for a couple months now when they do the tape measure measuring ("fundal height"). Via my last ultrasound at 25 weeks I measured a week ahead. What could this mean? Well, when you're measuring "ahead" or "big" doctors might start talking about inducing early or preparing for a c-section, two things I want to avoid. I did some reading and concluded the tape measure method isn't particularly accurate, especially if done by different people each time, which it almost always is in my case. I'm not going to worry about it unless I start measuring increasingly ahead (i.e., more than 2 weeks ahead). For now it's been consistent. We'll get another ultrasound around week 38 to check the little guy again. Oh, and he was head down at my last appointment...let's hope he stays that way.

We don't have a name yet. We have a list and unless lightening strikes we'll be naming him after he's born. I guess in the end it's just been too hard for us to name someone we haven't met. This naming thing is so much bigger than I ever appreciated. I mean, it's someone's name, our son's name, which he'll have for the rest of his life. Puts some pressure on for sure!

I'm having a baby shower next weekend (thanks Reina, Joan and Kim!!) and am very excited about it. It's incredible how much "stuff" comes into your life when you have a baby. We spent this weekend re-organizing closets to make room for the little guy's accoutremonts. We haven't baby proofed the place yet but Miguel is feeling like we have a little time since it's not until he's crawling that we have to worry. When do babies start crawling anyway? Man, I'm woefully uneducated in the baby development arena.


Body update: I'm feeling pretty good generally. I have aches and pains, some days are better than others in this department. I get cranky sometimes, but not too often (though, I will admit, the frequency is creeping up). Here's a post I wrote a few days ago on the pregnancy forum I frequent:

"30 days to go. I hope I make it. I've been struggling this past week. Tired, feeling ineffective at work, my thinking is slow and I just feel sort of in a daze and I'm not used to it. It's getting me down. I feel like I want to run away from everything. Blech. I'm ready to meet the little guy and have a very tangible reason for all this."

Like I said, some days are better than others. I've been feeling alright about my weight gain, 30 pounds, but really not wanting to gain much more. I wish that influenced my food choices but I have to admit, I'm pretty indiscriminate these days. My doc said it'd be fine if I gained no more weight, or at least not more than 5 pounds. Of course I hear, "You can gain five more pounds." I am looking forward to getting back to Weight Watchers. Here's a pic of me from just the other day.

Mostly I've been in awe at what my body is doing. The fact that I'm making another human being is just mind blowing. And that it's had the ability all along and was just sitting dormant. I look down and see my belly moving around, and feel him kicking and rolling around in there and, wow, is all I can say. I am so so so grateful that everything is working just as it is meant to.

Speaking of that...labor. Ahhh, labor. I know it's coming but I'm probably in denial. We took our hypnobirthing class, which was very encouraging. I haven't been practicing the relaxation techniques. No good excuse for that. But we did choose a doula, which comforts me to no end. She's very sweet and has lots of tools in her chest to help me manage. Miguel is very supportive of the natural childbirth route and we're going to write up our preferences to give to the nurses and doctors when we get to the hospital. I have faith in my body and in my ability to do what nature made it to do. Am I sounding like a hippie or what?


Nursery update: We tried to paint a border to add a little flair but we failed entirely. So we splurged and hired an artist friend to paint the border. She also painted a scene matching our bedding above the crib. I am SO HAPPY with it!!

This is the painting above the crib:

Here's a close up! Seriously, how cute is that?! After he's born and we presumably have a name she's going to paint his name above and to the left and add a dragonfly that will match the dragonfly in the bedding pic below.

This is the bedding.

And this is the border. Isn't it cute?!

She also put a few of the dragonflies near the ceiling. I am so thrilled, which makes me happy because we were concerned about spending the money. Yay!

Etc Updates: I'm fighting off anxiety about how we'll survive without my income while I'm off work. On one hand I feel so strongly about wanting to have time to bond with the little guy and on the other I worry about finances. Miguel and I still need to sit down and go over the numbers to prepare ourselves. I just hope we don't have to wipe out our emergency fund altogether. I'm so envious of countries that pay full income during maternity leave...and then struck with how much I have to be grateful for. We'll survive. My mom has offered to help with the insurance (which we found out we will have to pay once I'm off disability (which only lasts 6 weeks!)). That will help a lot.

I heard something recently, "Anxiety is looking into the future and finding a problem." That really struck me. Why would I want to find problems in the future that haven't happened yet? I read an article about that plane that went down the other day and the folks who died on it and was struck again, anxiety and worry are so wasteful. Life is short, life can be so rich and wonderful, enjoy every positive thing that comes along. So I'm trying not to let myself worry about money. If things aren't going well we will make new decisions at the time to manage. Until then, no need to worry.

Speaking of being off, my boss has been so supportive about my taking leave. I couldn't ask him for more, which is just an enormous relief. I struggle with feeling guilty about leaving while the program is still starting up but look forward to when I can return and really get into some project ideas that are floating around in my head.

Well, that's about all I can think of. Something tells me this is a long post. And something tells me the next time you hear from me might just be when I have a picture of a little baby to post!! Whoa, it's just so hard to grasp that all this is going to result in a baby in my arms. I can't fathom what it's like to be a mom, to hold my baby (outside my womb, that is), to have a third person in our home. Honestly I think I'm in a bit of denial that this is even happening! But indeed it is. Wish me luck!