72 Miles of Awe - Camping and Cycling around Lake Tahoe

Where to begin? I'll do my best to be brief and share what's most inspiring, pictures.

We arrived to our campsite at Meek's Bay Resort & Marina at 10:30pm after a 3.5 hour drive from the north bay. I had my little green North Face tent, which I've had since 1996 and have set up a million times, easy. I was in my sleeping bag and snoozing within a half-hour. But ohhh, it got chilly, down into the 30's (that's COLD for this California native), and I woke up a bunch of times because of that.

I think it was around 6am when I started to get some really good sleep. I was camping with a few other people from the cycling group and we all came out of our caves around 9am. We didn't have to meet the group until 12:30 so a couple of us decided to go kayaking on the lake (after a breakfast sandwich at the grill shack at the campground). I wish I'd had a camera but I was too worried about it getting wet. So no kayaking pictures but here are a couple of the morning lake.

The day was perfection - beautiful sunshine, almost no wind, and a crystal clear, glassy lake. We kayaked around for about 45 minutes and then went back to camp to change for our "acclimation ride".

Getting a prep talk from Franny, our fearless leader

I wasn't sure about my ability to do the 72-miles on the following day (Sunday) so I was using this shorter ride (planned to be around 25) as a test. We took off from Tahoe City around 1:30pm and rode toward Squaw Valley. There's a nice paved bike path that runs for miles in this area and we rode mostly on that until we got to Squaw Valley Road.

I couldn't keep up with the group once we hit Squaw Valley Road so I was now cycling by myself, which was just fine. I like having no pressure to keep up or worry I'm holding anyone back.

selfie while cycling - probably dumb but there you go

The day remained gorgeous and I was a happy girl. That said, the riding was a challenge. On the return the group turned up Alpine Dam Rd but I opted to head back to the car at that point. I was riding next to the river and just enjoying the beauty of the day.

Back at the car was a total of 16 miles ridden. I decided that the 72 miles was out of reach. Later I talked to Franny, the organizer, and she suggested I start with the group and ride to Incline Village and back for a roughly 30 mile ride. I was on the fence because a day sitting by the lake reading and sunbathing also sounded fantastic.

Back to our campsite to change for dinner. We ate at Hacienda del Lago, mexican food overlooking a marina. 

The whole crew, 13 of us!

View from the deck of the restaurant

I ate A LOT of chips followed by chile verde enchiladas, topped off with a Racer 5 beer. Ugh, it was really more food than I needed but oh well. After dinner some of those crazies went out drinking but us campers headed back to the campsite for some much needed sleep. I took a couple Excedrin PM to help me get through the night. That and my earplugs and I slept pretty darned good. Oh, and my Big Agnes Q-Core SL Sleep Pad (it's not cheap but worth every penny).

Our wake up plan was 6am and my fellow campers - Val, Fletcher and Raymond (the latter of whom I drove up/back with) - finally roused me around 6:30am. Packed up our gear and headed toward Tahoe City to meet up with the group. By this time I'd decided to do the Incline Village ride and then spend the rest of the day lounging by the lake - the best of both worlds.

Some of us ready to ride, that's me in the gray

We started off and I told everyone to go ahead. I figured I'd not see them again until the end of the day considering I'd be far behind them and then turn around. I pedaled along, listening to birds and gazing at the blue skies. It wasn't long before I crossed the state line into Nevada. Hey, this is my first inter-state ride!

Welcome to Nevada

Love the Bear Crossing sign!

So I was pedaling along, feeling good, and thoughts of trying to do the whole ride started creeping into my mind. Maybe...maaaayyybeee. When I pulled into the Incline stop I was surprised to find the group still at our first stop.

Tunnel Creek Station, Incline, our first stop

By this time I was heavily leaning toward doing the ride. Raymond said a few things that sealed it, "If you feel good, you should do it! You'll be happy with your decision." He's probably right. That, and when will I have this opportunity again? Oh, and I did feel good. Really good. I bought a Clif Bar and a Gu in the store and stuffed them in my Camelbak for reserves.

I gave Raymond my car keys with Plan B being he would come get me when they were done if I couldn't make it. I mean, this ride included two big climbs that are miles long and is 72 miles, I wasn't confident I could do it but I was confident I could try. Which reminded me of another thing that popped into my head while I was considering the ride, Marek saying, "Mommy, I didn't think I could do it but I could!!" at the track races last Monday. I don't think I can do this, but maybe I can.

I guess a map is now in order.

Tahoe City, CA was our start and we went clockwise from there. After this first stop we pulled out from the cafe headed toward South Lake Tahoe. I was anticipating riding alone all day, the ride was so gorgeous I didn't mind at all. But as we pulled out one of the riders stayed behind me. I kept waiting for him to pass me but he didn't. When I realized he wasn't going to pass me I started chatting.

Turns out he's only been seriously road cycling for 7 weeks and he decided to go the safe route and plug along slow-and-steady with me. Company! I felt mixed because I didn't want to hold him back but he assured me whatever pace I rode was fine. I tell ya, though I was planning to ride alone it sure was nice to have company. Gary is from Britain and just the nicest person, encouraging but no pressure whatsoever.

You can see why I was inspired to go on.

After a while we started the first climb, miles long but not too steep. Here's an elevation profile of the whole ride. Ignore the 7 hours 20 minutes thing. But do note the 3,576 feet of climbing!

All I could do was pedal and breathe. My legs were hurting but I wasn't in agony. And the views were just amazing. Not sure where these picture were taken but you get the idea.

Before we knew it the climb was over and we cruised down to stop #2 at Safeway. I arrived to a hearty round of, "We knew you'd make it!!" and felt super happy, but more than a bit achy, mostly in my shoulders. So I took 800mg of ibuprofen and hoped that would ease up the shoulder pain and other aches. And then we were off to our next stop just 5 miles down the road for lunch. When we got there someone told me, "Well, you're home free now, the hardest part is behind us and we're more than halfway done!" The ibuprofen had kicked in and I felt pretty good.

Our lunch spot, Grass Roots Natural Foods in South Lake Tahoe. Healthy food and yummy too.

Raymond and I, thanks for the encouragement Raymond!

Eating lunch - I was starving!

I had a half-sandwich, some pizza, an apricot and some chocolate. A couple of these crazies were drinking a beer!

Hi Billy!

That's Billy - eating a carrot and drinking beer. He's the one that gave me the ibuprofen, said his knee was killing him, "I'm not strong physically but I am mentally," he'd told me. Uh, I think you're strong physically too Billy. What a positive, fun person. I hadn't met any of these people before this trip and I have to say, I felt so grateful to be with this group. Not a hard-core road-cycling meanie in the bunch.

After a bit of rest we pulled out. It wouldn't be long before we faced the next climb, miles up toward Emerald Bay. As soon as we began the climb I quickly learned that the hardest part was most decidedly NOT behind me. The climb might have been shorter but oh man was it steep, with switchbacks even. We stopped once to take a picture, which I think was this one...

And then we stopped again for a moment to take off my long-sleeved shirt. I think I cursed a time or two during the ascent, especially when I had to stand to pedal up and around one of the switchbacks. Eek! But finally, finally...we reached the top. And the views of Emerald Bay, the waterfall, the air, the smiles - did not disappoint.

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe

with my riding buddy, Gary. Thank you Gary!!

Yay!!

We hung around for about 30 minutes checking out the vistas and then riding a few feet up the road to play in the top of a waterfall.

Jonas, myself and Dave (photo courtesy of Gary)

Ah, what majesty.

And then back on our bikes for the 15 or so mile ride to our last stop before the end. The descents always make me nervous and I asked Gary to ride ahead, which he did (the only time he wasn't behind me all day). I just feathered my brakes and kept telling myself, "You're fine, you're on your bike, you can brake, you're fine, you're just fine", which helped ease my anxiety somewhat.

During this last stretch there were also more hills than I was hoping to find. In my mind the climb to Emerald Bay was the last of the hard work, unfortunately the road didn't agree with me. Oh, and it was along this stretch that I had a scare when a black Tesla sped by WAY too close to me and I let out a scream. Jerk. But then we hit Meek's Bay, past our campground, and rolled into Tahoma, and all was right in the world once again.

Tahoma Market, our last pit stop.

A brief rest, both physically and mentally and we were off again. My brain was mush at this point, I left without Gary! I didn't even realize he was finishing a slushie when I pulled out. Fortunately he caught up with me before too long. Another 10 or so miles and then there we were. Relief. And awe. And gratitude galore.

Here we are at the Tahoe Dam in Tahoe City. I'm posting two group finish shots because we are just that awesome! When I have a day like this it's like I won a major award and I want to thank people. So thank you to Franny for organizing and all that entails (seriously, thank you, that's a big job!), Raymond for the company driving up, camping, kayaking, and most important for encouraging me, Gary for being an ideal riding partner and quietly cheering me on, Fletcher and Val for more of the same plus being great camping partners, and David, Zuzana (and Gary) for taking some amazing pictures, and to Jonas, Billy, Ryan, Tom - all of you are SO cool, the best kind of people in the world, I hope to ride again with you one day. Maybe not with you, because most of you are too damn fast for me, but on the same day, on the same route, seeing your encouraging faces at rest stops.

Most of all, I am grateful to my body. This body amazed me. We started at 8am and didn't get back until 4:30pm and at no point did my body seriously threaten to give out on me. If you ever hear me criticizing this body remind of this day. The day my legs, shoulders, neck, all of it rallied to carry me 72 miles around a gorgeous lake on a gorgeous day. I needed that ride, I needed a boost of self confidence and self love, and I got it.

Ok, enough sentimental stuff...on to some food! We ate at Fat Cat Bar & Grill in Tahoe City. I had coffee instead of beer because we still had a 3.5 hour drive home. Split a burger and fries, had some quesadilla, hot wings, etc, etc.

A mere sampling of my early dinner.

I was entirely full, likely would have been happier eating a tad less (for a less stuffed feeling, not because of the calories) but seriously...not going to fret about it.

And then we all said our goodbyes, with lots of hugs and smiles all around. Like I said, I sure hope I get to see these peeps again one day. Raymond and I stopped at Wendy's on the ride home for a frosty and enjoyed some laughs along the way. I got home around 10:30 that night and after a quick shower (boy did I need that shower!) I was sleeping like a baby. Woke up Monday morning and expected to be hurting. Nope, I felt surprisingly good. I even felt well enough to hit the gym after work. I ran for 25 minutes and did back/biceps/core. I'm planning to do the same again today. My new favorite hashtag is #lovethisbody and boy do I love this body. I'm closing with one of the thoughts that inspired me to give it a go...

I didn't think I could do it but I could!

...that's what Marek said at the track race. Thanks for the inspiration little guy. Oh, and one last picture. Gary took this, not sure when or exactly where on the lake but it's beautiful and I wanted to include it because it captures the feeling I was after, a bit of refuge. I found the refuge, plus an unexpected gift of glory and inspiration.

Be Still (and Youth Track Races)

Low moments in life are hard. I'm knee deep in one now. I breathe, I take the next step, breathe again, and just try not to stop moving for too long. I'm sure that's one reason I've kept myself so busy lately. Just don't stop moving.

Well, this weekend I plan to stop moving for a bit. I'm doing it in a funny sort of way in that I'm headed to Lake Tahoe for the weekend with a cycling group. The group is doing a 24 mile ride on Saturday and the 72-mile ride around the lake on Sunday. Not sure I'm up for either but I'm going anyway. I'll decide how I feel once I'm up in the thin mountain air. Other options are a run or a hike.  All that said, even in movement, I hope to be still.

Things remain the same in the food and exercise department. My eating is marginally better and exercise remains promising. Not promising, more like damn good. Last week started with a Memorial Day run with my tri training peeps. I ran 4-miles in an area in which I'd never run, it was absolutely gorgeous! There were some wetlands with tall grasses rising out of the water, and the sun shining on the hills in the distance...I nudged myself to get lost in the green beauty of it all. I find if I can do that, I can carry that moment with me through the day, or even in the coming days. No music, no talking, just running...my breath, my body, movement and serenity.

After that my mom and I took the kids to a youth track race. It was so cute!

Marek was really nervous about running, at first saying he wouldn't, and then saying only if I held his hand the whole time. But then, ready...set...GO! And he was off like a bolt of lightening.

In the end he ran three "races", the 50 yard (or was it meters?), the 100 and the 400 meters. 400 meters was all the way around the track. Kids don't know how to pace themselves so it was a series of sprints with near stops as he lost energy but each time I was able to rev him up again with an on-the-go pep talk. After he crossed the finish line he puffed up with pride, "Mommy, I didn't think I could do it but I could!!" A life lesson youngling. [For both of us, see how he later inspired me with this statement to also do something I didn't think I could do].

Myra was one-and-done. We later found out she had strep throat so no wonder. Poor girl was a trooper considering she was sick and we didn't know it. She did have me hold her hand the whole time, a job I was proud to do.

Maybe I'll re-package this post at some point and add to it my Race Reports page. After the run we went straight to breakfast and I held nothing back. Omelet, hash browns, buttered toast...and then to a party at a friend's place. The kids got in the pool some but it was too windy for me. Instead I had a few drinks and did my best to lounge while the kids played. And then the holiday weekend came to a close.

Tuesday I hit the gym. I rode the upright bike for 25 minutes and then did legs/shoulders/core. Again I did as much of my regular routine as I could. My back is paying the price for that right now so I'd better take it a bit easier. My legs were sore on Wednesday so I decided that would be a day of rest.

Thursday I went to the gym again. I started with an outside run which I think was around 2.4 miles. It was super hot out and because the distance was shorter (than my normal 3 miles) I decided to include a monster hill. I had to talk myself up that hill, reminding myself that I don't quit. I. don't. quit. Don't get me wrong, walking is not quitting...but for me, in that moment, it was. And I had to say whatever I had to say to keep myself going. 80+ degrees and a ridiculously steep hill...it had to be done.

After that I did chest/triceps/core. I was out of time before I could complete everything but I managed  to get my pushups and enough triceps work to feel like I'm making progress. Not sure if I'll have time to get to the gym today but it's on my mental list. If not, maybe I could sneak in a run tonight once I'm up at Tahoe. Or pay a day-use fee at a local gym. I'm not too worried, I know my body will see plenty of action this weekend. Wait, that doesn't sound quite right. Eh, you know what I mean.

Food? What to say. I'm working on things. And I'm reminding myself that each time I fall out of my normal habits - whether it's due to illness or an injury or a slump or all of the above - each time I ease back into things, and as I ease in, everything slowly falls back into place. The point being, I'm trying to be mindful, make conscious choices, and not see having a whopper jr (hold the mayo) and a small fries for lunch, followed by some pseudo-healthy quinoa cluster snacks - as a sign that I'm failing.

I'm not failing, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I'm over my goal weight a bit but that should come as no surprise given I had major surgery. I'm moving, more often than not I'm making good food choices, and I'm thinking, blogging, paying attention. This is what real life success looks like. At least for my real life.

I won't be blogging from Tahoe but I'll post as many pics as I can before my battery dies. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter to keep up.

A Fine Line

Has it really been a week since my last post? Well, I have a pretty decent excuse. My laptop is on the fritz. The screen stopped working. To protect the innocent, nothing more will be said about that. My other excuse is that I've been busy as all get-out. My lists are growing longer and all I want to do is get some sleep!

To that end, this will be a quick post as it's already 10:45pm and I RSVPd as a strong maybe on an 8am run tomorrow morning. Truth is, I could sum my week up in as little as four words:

Food, ugh.
Exercise, yes!

That about does it. By way of example, tonight I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. Followed by an entire Costco sized bagel with cream cheese, then a small granola bar, and now some chocolate. Guess I should change my RSVP  on tomorrow's run to definitely. Eh, exercise has never been a means to atone for my eating, why start now?

Yes, exercise...in that department, I'm feeling better and better. I didn't get into the gym last week until Thursday. For whatever reason the thought of my normal cardio routine sounded dreadful so I pulled an old trick out of the bag. I call it machine-hopping, 10 minutes on the upright bike followed by 15 minutes on the treadmill. Technically I did 15:16 on the treadmill because I was this:close to 1.5 miles and couldn't stop running. I ran at 5.5-6.5 mph and felt damn good about my achievement. After that I did a set of pushups, squats and some shoulder raises and called it quits.

Then Friday came. Cue the dramatic music. I was in a bad mood. Bad. The holiday weekend was looming and I had few plans to speak of and, well, life. So when I got to the gym after work I just wanted to crush it. Crush what, you say? My bad mood. I still couldn't face a straight 25 minutes of anything so I started with 15 minutes on the elliptical (I always forget how hard you can work on those things if you push yourself) followed by a 1-mile treadmill run in 9:55 (yes, I was pushing for sub-10).

After the cardio I decided to dive, head first, into chest, triceps and core. It was either a gutsy decision reflective of my will and determination - or just plain stupid. The jury is still out. In any case, that's often a fine line anyway, right? I started with pushups. I used to do three sets of 20, 15, and 12 reps. Guess how many I did? You guessed it, 20, 15, 12. I wrote myself a little note to commemorate the moment.

I planked and twisted and pressed my way through the remainder of my routine. In the end, I couldn't quite do all the reps of my triceps stuff, those little muscles just gave out. But I kept going back to at least make an effort for every set. And when my abs were screaming at me to stop, I finally listened and did.

Other notes on my workout log that day are, "Owie" (as in, ouch) and "Go easy, M" but "You kick ASS!!!" is my favorite. The bummer is, despite all that my mood was still in the dumps when I left. Now that is unusual.

Riding home from the gym earlier this evening

Add to that, my abs are threatening to never do another crunch as long as I live. But remember, I said, Exercise, yes! Today my mom showed up earlier than I was expecting so I took the opportunity to sneak off to the gym. I rode my bike the 2.8 miles to the gym. Ah, the wind in my hair while my legs power me down the road - nothing else like it. Once at the gym I took it easy, not even logging my workout. I focused on back and biceps and even foolishly tried to do a plank (took me only 10 seconds before I realized my mistake). But I was able to do side crunches so some part of my core muscles are still intact. I told you, a fine line. I rode back home happy to have done something in the body building department.

Now it's 11:15 so I'll close by telling you that in addition to the above we've also been here there and everywhere this weekend. For people with few plans we managed to keep things moving. We had a pizza/movie night at a friends, a playdate at our house, a Lego outing and a pool party (it was a touch too windy for me to get in the water). It's been a lot of fun and a lot of work. Thankfully today was low-key. Tomorrow I'm taking the kids for their first-ever run event! It's a "youth track race" that starts with the (parent-accompanied) toddler dash up to 12-year olds. So cool! I'll be sure to tell you all about it.

Oh snap! Just remembered I also did this last week:

That's me getting a PFT, pulmonary function test. Interesting results, which I'll have to tell you about another day but can summarize by saying my lung functions are normal but still not. I'll say more about that next time. That's it from me!

PS - I'm 147 pounds. Two pounds over my goal weight. Sure hope I rise in time for that run tomorrow morning. 'Night all!

Happy Miles

I've had a few roller coaster days here. Thursday started out bad, I had a terrible morning. You know how things just sort of catch up with you sometimes? A variety of stressors that seem to hit you all at once? For me, not being able to exercise just compounds any stress I might be feeling related to work, family, you name it. As evidence of how bad my morning was, I give you Exhibit #1.

Yes, that's a huge muffin and a to-go coffee half filled with cream and sugar. Not a breakfast of champions. My day got worse before it got better with lunch being two bowls of AppleJacks (don't ask), but the good news is, it did eventually get better. I stopped digging the hole I was in and dragged myself to the gym.

At the gym I decided to tackle my first real post-surgery run. I really needed to run. Initially I told myself I'd "just go on a short run, maybe around the block" thinking I didn't want to push my body the first time out. Almost before my foot hit the ground I decided I'd try for 3 miles. That's just how my athlete brain works (see what I did there? ...and I just made myself teary calling myself an athlete).

I embarked on the goal of 3-miles, prepared to reconfigure the plan if my body wasn't up for it. I ran slow, easy, paying no attention to my pace but instead listening to my body, listening to how it felt and what it was telling me. Fortunately, it was all good news. Around mile two I started to feel achy but I knew I could continue. I got back to the gym feeling refreshed, renewed.

It felt so good to know I could still run. I know the fear that I might not be able to run anymore seems silly but there you go. So guess how long it took me to run three miles? Who cares, I ran three miles! I picked up the kids and we had a great time going over the 4th of July 1-mile fun run I'm hoping they can do. We did a bit of training, I had them running up and down the block. They are definitely off to a good start. We went to dinner and I made a choice that I thought balanced out the earlier crap - a salmon chef salad.

Friday was a day to recuperate from the emotional low of Thursday morning. I helped a friend buy a new car and ended up with a new (used) car for myself. I've been wanting a car with more seating so I can fit more kids for outings. The dealer we visited just so happened to have an older model Acura MDX that was similar in value to my slightly newer CR-V. So I did it!

The Acura has more miles and is a bit beat up cosmetically (I'm pretty sure the prior owners had kids) but it's perfect for us. It being older and already scuffed up, I won't be paranoid about the kids trashing it. I hope to get a minimum of 5 years out of it, 10 would be ideal. The good thing about those cars is, if you take care of them, they run forever. Want to see it?

You can't see the slightly cracked bumper, chips and scratches, or the nicks in the windshield, but no matter, it has all the bells and whistles my old car had - heated seats, sunroof, bluetooth, navigation - plus a bonus of a ceiling mounted drop-down screen for watching DVDs in the back seat. The kids (and I) will LOVE that for long trips.

As you know, buying a car takes all friggin' day so I skipped exercise. I'd already hit my goal of three workouts and I figured my body could rest after my first run outing the day prior. And then came Saturday. The weather was beautiful, warm with a cool breeze, and it was shouting out for me to run. I decided to try a five-mile route. Ambitious, I know, but again, I figured I'd just take it slow and easy and listen to my body. If I do that, I'd be ok. Besides, I can stop anytime if needed.

The route included some easy rollers, except since I haven't run in five weeks they weren't easy. This time I wore my Garmin but I tried to avoid looking at it during the run. I wanted to listen to my body, not my Garmin. In the end I ran five miles in 52:14 for a 10:27 pace. Works for me! Oh, forgot to mention I stopped at a shopping center for water in the middle of my run. I had a little break while waiting in line at Peet's for a glass of water (that break is not included in my time).

That's what happy looks like after a successful five mile run. My post-surgery midsection seems to be cooperating with running. I can feel some slight pulling now and then but nothing painful. Speaking of surgery, want to see a few tummy selfies? I took these after my run, hence all the sweat.

I'm pretty happy with how my recovery is going. What more could I want? I'm running, getting back into the weights, and just waiting on my abs to feel ready to work. All good, it's all good.

Well, that's it from me. I'm off to get more weekend-stuff done before Monday hits. Ugh, Monday, why'd I have to bring that up? Forget I said that...it's Sunday, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and I'm enjoying the moment. Much happier thought. Later!

Starting Fresh, In This Moment

I had so much more I wanted to get done yesterday. I bet most of you can relate.

So I had an appointment with my doc in the morning. Not only is she a great doctor, she indulged me in a selfie! Gotta love that.

Anyway, this was a follow-up to my appointment with Dr I'm-so-busy three weeks. Can you tell I'm still irritated? I need to get over it.

Anyway, yesterday we talked about how I'm not coughing and the wheezing is much improved but still sometimes flares up. So she's sending me for a pulmonary function test to see what's happening there and to an allergist (thank you to the reader that suggested I ask about that) to see if there might be allergy triggers.

Other than that, I got a haircut...Thanks Susana!

And also did a lot of blog-related stuff. Blog maintenance work is surprisingly time consuming. And then...I went to the gym. I started with 25 minutes on the elliptical. I'm always surprised at what a tough workout you can get from that machine. I got off all sweaty and out of breath! Then I did a little bit of weights again, taking a stab at some shoulder and back stuff. I'm so wanting to be able to do what I did before and also know that's going to take time. The fact that I'm so enthusiastic about it is a great sign though!

Ok, last thing...my eating. Last night...do we have to talk about this? Yes, it always helps when I put it out there. I'm just going to write it...two bowls of Fruit Loops (don't ask why these are even in the house (hint: it's Miguel's fault) - lame excuse, I am entirely responsible for both keeping them in the house and for eating them), two chocolate chip cookies (the rest of which are now gone) and a random mix of snacks while cooking dinner (food I found left in the kids lunch pail - granola bar, string cheese) and other food I just sought out for no good reason - pita chips and possibly something else I'm not remembering.

So today I woke up feeling disappointed in myself. Mostly that I'm in a hole and yet continue to dig. I  did a lot of self talk.

"What's done is done, don't let it bring you down today."
"Yesterday's mistakes are already in the past, let them go."
"I've done nothing that can't be undone through making healthier choices."
"THIS feeling is why I want to make better choices, I don't feel good. The food was a temporary feel-good, this negative feeling is worse and not worth it."
"There are other ways to soothe myself in the evening."

You get the idea. So today I'm making better choices, right? Not so much. I'm on a lunch break at an all day training. Someone brought Girl Scout cookies and Almond Roca. I've been snacking on those. I brought a Fage, a banana and mandarins. I am committing, right now, for myself, to eat no more GS cookies or Almond Roca. I'm going to think out loud here for a moment..."I know I will feel better at the close of the day if I keep my commitment to myself, I can do this, for me, because I want something more, something that Girl Scout cookies and Almond Roca won't give me."

There, I feel a bit better already. Thanks for listening.