My New Life

Sara popped in to ask how things are going and if I've signed back up for Weight Watchers yet. On the first question...I'm doing ok. I'm slowly adjusting to my new life as a mom. It's very different. There have been moments when I've wanted my old life back but they are fleeting and usually between midnight and 4am when I'm exhausted and fantasizing about sleep. I sometimes wonder how in the heck I'm supposed to squeeze exercise into this, especially when I go back to work, but then I stop because I know I'm getting ahead of myself. One thing at a time Michelle.

Here's a picture of me the other day after I took a leisurely walk around the neighborhood with Marek in a sling (the Moby wrap I think it's called).


And a super-sweet picture of Marek and Miguel resting on the couch.


A quick baby update. Things are going really well on the whole. I can't really complain, Marek is a sweetheart. We went to see a lactation consultant. This was our second visit with her. Marek is gaining weight just as he should, one ounce per day. He weighs 9 pounds already! So that means breastfeeding is going well. Miguel has been a dream. Couldn't do this without him. And on a super-exciting note, Kristy is coming to town and I get to see her tomorrow! She's going to just love Marek :) Kristy isn't keeping up her blog but she's still doing fabulous, hiking all over Hawaii and having a ball. Now it's her turn to inspire me!

Alright, back to Sara's question. I haven't gone back to Weight Watchers but I think I'm going this Friday. In a funny turn of events I connected with a woman who is also a new mom who I used to go to the same meeting as me. She goes to the Friday morning meeting (if 10:30am counts as morning, which it does for me) so I'm going to join her. This is a larger meeting but the smaller ones are even earlier so that won't work. We'll see how I like it. I think I'm going to sign up for the monthly plan again so I can use the online tracker. I really enjoyed that tool last time.

So I'm down to around 176. At least I was the last time I weighed myself. That was a first-thing-in-the-morning-barely-any-clothes weight on my home scale. I'm expecting to be probably 5 pounds more on the WW scale with clothes and breakfast in my tummy. My scale might be more generous too. Plus I've been eating too much lately so I might even have gained. Wow, I guess I'm really preparing myself to be heavier.

I'm wearing some of my old clothes. Mostly the ones either with elastic waists or ones that I'd shrunk out of but still have, like the size 14's.

I need to get back to meetings, if nothing else but to remind me of my goals. Today was a kind of very bleak day food-wise. I had a morning errand and afterward started thinking about fast food. These things don't always end well. By the time I got home I had a KFC lunch with me (a 3 piece dark meat extra crispy meal with all the fixings, probably one of the highest calorie meals they sell!). So I ate that and a little while later ate the last piece of angel food cake I had with strawberries and whipped cream. As if on some kind of sugar bender I started thinking about the Easter chocolate. Ate a bunch of that. Man, I felt like crap when all was said and done. Even more so because I'm breastfeeding and realize that this is NO WAY to be fueling the body that fuels my baby. So guilt ensues, which isn't good for anyone. I am going to that meeting Friday.

As I said before I'm not committing to more than that at this point. I'll start with meetings and see what naturally develops from there. I'm big on not over-committing myself. I've learned that if I sign up for too much right off the bat, and then don't succeed on all fronts, I risk throwing in the towel altogether. If I add goals one by one, when I feel ready to take the next step, well, things just seem to go so much better. I say this partially to remind myself. It's so tempting to want to go full bore and start saying things like, "If I lose 2 pounds per week for the next 10 weeks I'll be back to my low weight come July." Yeah, that kind of thinking is dangerous for me.

Deadlines are part of the diet mentality. For me they suggest temporary changes. My mantra remains that it's all about maintenance. It's not about losing weight, it's about staying healthy. In the short-term, in the long-term. It's about changes that become habits. Habits that become a way of life. Being a mom is new and will bring a new set of challenges to my fitness/health goals but I know I can merge the two. I'm not sure what it will look like yet but I know this...I'm going to love my new life. Because if I don't I'll make changes until I do.