Numbers and What Really Matters

When I started Weight Watchers in February 2007 I weighed:

233.8 pounds

When I got pregnant in June 2008 I weighed:

164.4 pounds

In the weeks following conception I lost some weight and one month later, in July 2008, when I stopped Weight Watchers I weighed:

158.8 pounds

At my 40 week pregnancy appointment on May 13, 2009 I weighed:

198 pounds

Weight gained during pregnancy:

35-40 pounds

Five weeks postpartum, April 17, 2009 I went to a WW meeting and weigh:

178.4 pounds

I am 19.6 pounds over my low weight of 158.8 pounds. I am

28.4 pounds from goal.

The Weight Watchers meeting was good. It was nice to be back and reminded of how all this works. I got the new materials, can't say I really understand how Momentum is different from Flex. I guess you track your hunger and focus on choosing more Core type foods, but otherwise I think it's the same. That's good for me because I liked the Flex plan. I get 34 points a day! Wow! It's 24 based on my weight and an extra 10 for breastfeeding.

I tracked, sort of, what I ate yesterday. I'm going to sort-of track again today. I am eating way too much. That became clear pretty quick. I'm just going to observe for a while. I know just observing has an effect and for right now that's enough.

And lest we forget from whence we came...Since starting Weight Watchers I am still down 55.4 pounds! Fifty-five pounds that I do not have to carry around. Good thing, because I'm realizing how little muscle I have right now. If I had another 55 pounds I might not be able to walk :/ When I carry Marek around with me it's not long before my back is hurting. I have to put a little effort into going up the stairs. All in all, I need to get some strength back.

And that brings me to what really matters. Numbers are interesting but they are not why I do this. Periodically I like to remind myself of the real reasons I want to be in shape.

Reasons Why I Want to be in Shape:

* I want to walk up stairs without effort
* I enjoy others who are healthy and happy. Healthy, happy people are outside doing things too. I won't meet them in my living room.
* I want to feel good in my clothes
* I want to feel good in my body
* I want to have fun! It is not fun! to be sitting on my couch, watching TV and feeling bored. It is fun! to be outside, on adventures...adventuring.
* I enjoy riding my bike really, really far
* I like having cool pictures for my blog :)
* I enjoy events - walks, triathlons, etc
* I want to raise my son in an active lifestyle. Health is a gift that never stops giving. (p.s. I have a son!!)
* I want to live to be a ripe old age but still be able to get around on my own two feet.

To that end, I'm waiting for Miguel to get home because we're going to go on a little hike. The weather here is gorgeous! Gotta get outside and enjoy it. I'll close with a picture from the other day. We gave Marek a bath and afterward Miguel snapped this picture. I just love it.

My New Life

Sara popped in to ask how things are going and if I've signed back up for Weight Watchers yet. On the first question...I'm doing ok. I'm slowly adjusting to my new life as a mom. It's very different. There have been moments when I've wanted my old life back but they are fleeting and usually between midnight and 4am when I'm exhausted and fantasizing about sleep. I sometimes wonder how in the heck I'm supposed to squeeze exercise into this, especially when I go back to work, but then I stop because I know I'm getting ahead of myself. One thing at a time Michelle.

Here's a picture of me the other day after I took a leisurely walk around the neighborhood with Marek in a sling (the Moby wrap I think it's called).


And a super-sweet picture of Marek and Miguel resting on the couch.


A quick baby update. Things are going really well on the whole. I can't really complain, Marek is a sweetheart. We went to see a lactation consultant. This was our second visit with her. Marek is gaining weight just as he should, one ounce per day. He weighs 9 pounds already! So that means breastfeeding is going well. Miguel has been a dream. Couldn't do this without him. And on a super-exciting note, Kristy is coming to town and I get to see her tomorrow! She's going to just love Marek :) Kristy isn't keeping up her blog but she's still doing fabulous, hiking all over Hawaii and having a ball. Now it's her turn to inspire me!

Alright, back to Sara's question. I haven't gone back to Weight Watchers but I think I'm going this Friday. In a funny turn of events I connected with a woman who is also a new mom who I used to go to the same meeting as me. She goes to the Friday morning meeting (if 10:30am counts as morning, which it does for me) so I'm going to join her. This is a larger meeting but the smaller ones are even earlier so that won't work. We'll see how I like it. I think I'm going to sign up for the monthly plan again so I can use the online tracker. I really enjoyed that tool last time.

So I'm down to around 176. At least I was the last time I weighed myself. That was a first-thing-in-the-morning-barely-any-clothes weight on my home scale. I'm expecting to be probably 5 pounds more on the WW scale with clothes and breakfast in my tummy. My scale might be more generous too. Plus I've been eating too much lately so I might even have gained. Wow, I guess I'm really preparing myself to be heavier.

I'm wearing some of my old clothes. Mostly the ones either with elastic waists or ones that I'd shrunk out of but still have, like the size 14's.

I need to get back to meetings, if nothing else but to remind me of my goals. Today was a kind of very bleak day food-wise. I had a morning errand and afterward started thinking about fast food. These things don't always end well. By the time I got home I had a KFC lunch with me (a 3 piece dark meat extra crispy meal with all the fixings, probably one of the highest calorie meals they sell!). So I ate that and a little while later ate the last piece of angel food cake I had with strawberries and whipped cream. As if on some kind of sugar bender I started thinking about the Easter chocolate. Ate a bunch of that. Man, I felt like crap when all was said and done. Even more so because I'm breastfeeding and realize that this is NO WAY to be fueling the body that fuels my baby. So guilt ensues, which isn't good for anyone. I am going to that meeting Friday.

As I said before I'm not committing to more than that at this point. I'll start with meetings and see what naturally develops from there. I'm big on not over-committing myself. I've learned that if I sign up for too much right off the bat, and then don't succeed on all fronts, I risk throwing in the towel altogether. If I add goals one by one, when I feel ready to take the next step, well, things just seem to go so much better. I say this partially to remind myself. It's so tempting to want to go full bore and start saying things like, "If I lose 2 pounds per week for the next 10 weeks I'll be back to my low weight come July." Yeah, that kind of thinking is dangerous for me.

Deadlines are part of the diet mentality. For me they suggest temporary changes. My mantra remains that it's all about maintenance. It's not about losing weight, it's about staying healthy. In the short-term, in the long-term. It's about changes that become habits. Habits that become a way of life. Being a mom is new and will bring a new set of challenges to my fitness/health goals but I know I can merge the two. I'm not sure what it will look like yet but I know this...I'm going to love my new life. Because if I don't I'll make changes until I do.

The Scale Beckons...

So much for staying off the scale for a month! I shoulda known I'd never make it. So a few days ago I noticed that my ankles looked less like a continuation of my calf and a bit like ankles again. That got me to thinking maybe I've lost some of this water weight. That got me to thinking about the scale and next thing ya know...181.2 and 38.5% body fat. So, with a pre-pregnancy weight of 164.8 and a current weight of 181.2 that puts me at -16.4 pounds from my "official" pre-pregnancy weight, and 22.4 pounds from my low of 158.8 pounds. I'll take it!

So the next question is when should I return to Weight Watchers? My plan is to start to meetings and learn the new Momentum program but not put any pressure on myself to actually follow the plan. I'm just going to go to meetings and see what develops naturally. Maybe I won't start following the plan for a few weeks, maybe I'll be inspired and start right away, maybe I'll make incremental changes and sort of slowly start following the plan. I don't know, but I know the only expectation I want in the beginning is to go to meetings. This method worked really well for me when I initially started WW back in February '07. Wow, it's been over two years since I started WW.

I looked up the meetings and my old meeting is gone :( The only one at that location is a 9:30am weekday meeting. 9:30am?! Hmph. Not gonna happen. The only other evening meeting nearby is at a location where the meetings are big. I don't like big meetings, too impersonal. But I guess if I have to choose between 9:30am and big/impersonal it'll be big/impersonal.

I'm going to the doctor on Friday for my postpartum checkup. I suppose this is a good place to get an opinion as to when to start back. The docs there are of varying fitness levels, and this is just based purely on my observing body size, which I know is wrong. On Friday I'm seeing the super-skinny one who wears chic clothing and high heels. I'm guessing she'll tell me to start back right away :) Assumptions are fun aren't they?

Well, looking back over my pregnancy weight gain I am pleased with how things went. In a lot of ways I could have done better, mostly with maintaining a better activity level. The exercise quickly became nearly non-existant. The food was hit and miss. I went through phases with the eating, sometimes out of control, sometimes not. After a while the novelty of eating sort of wore off and in the last trimester I didn't gain as much.

I am more enthusiastic about getting back into shape now that I have a little guy to keep up with. I want to be able to have fun with him and go on adventures and not be held back by being out of shape. I want a hike to be fun and easy, not a challenge. Anyway, he's inspiring me.

Well, it's taken me three days to complete this post. Welcome to my new life I guess, eh? I'll close with a new pic of my little guy :) How sweet is he??!

All About Baby

Eat, Sleep and Poop...and cry occasionally. And coo, and smell REALLY good.

Some pics from leaving the hospital and our first day home.

Here he is in his first outfit. He's all snuggled up to go home!!

And here we are in the car. Dad's loading him in and mom sees her tummy is quite a little pooch still :)

I made the mistake of weighing myself post-partum. At Week 37 I weighed 199.7 and resigned myself to going over 200 pounds, something I didn't want to do. Well, surprise, in the following weeks I gained no weight, even lost a little. I was 198 at my 40 Week appointment! Wow, wow, and just wow. I made it to the end without going over 200 pounds. I was pretty darned close, but never had to move that big silver thing to the next slot on the scale.

So I made the mistake of getting on the scale at the hospital 2 days post-partum, expecting to have lost 10-15 pounds. Nope, 196. What?! I lost 2 pounds after giving birth to a nearly 8 pound baby, plus placenta and all that? The nurse was very encouraging, told me it was probably a lot of water weight, and made me promise not to get back on the scale for a month :) Well, we'll see. For now, I'm happy to be healthy and home.

Here's our snuggle bug in his little nest. Mom and Dad didn't know how to use the Snuggle Nest, those bumpers should be down around his hips. We fixed it later. He does not appear to be traumatized as a result of our error.

Could he be any cuter? I don't think so but I might be biased. Oh! The artist friend we hired, Tricia George, finished the mural now that we have a name. Cuteness x 10!


Five million thank yous for all the congrats and well wishes. I am so grateful to all of you for your encouragement, support and enthusiasm. Helps to keep it all in perspective and just enjoy the moment.

Marek Leigh is here!

3/14, 12:18pm.  7pounds 15 ounces, 20 inches long. Perfect in every way.

I went in for my 40 week OB appointment on my EDD this past Friday 3/13 at 5:15pm. Had my first cervical check and was 1cm dilated, 70% effaced. Had some bleeding and cramping afterward, which doc said was normal. The cramping got worse and worse, increasingly intense and long. I started to wonder if I might be having contractions. I went home and by 9pm we were timing them and they were about 2-3 minutes apart. We paged our OB at 10pm but didn't get a call back until around 11pm, doc said to go into L&D to get checked.

We got to L&D around 11:30 and I was 5cm dilated. Was immediately moved from a triage room to delivery. Our doula arrived and I labored until around 5am without medication and made it to 8cm. I was planning to have an unmedicated birth but by this time I was not tolerating the pain well, I was exhausted, and asked about an epi. I was happy to have gone that far but I didn't feel I could handle 2-3 more hours of those contractions and then pushing. The baby was still -4 station. She was concerned that he hadn't dropped at all. She broke my water, hoping that would help him drop. I got the epi and several hours later he still hadn't dropped at all. They tried pitocen to see if that would get him moving but he didn't budge. His heart rate was dipping periodically and I was beyond exhausted. By 11am the doc (new doc, changed shifts) recommended a c-section. He basically said "we don't know why he isn't dropping, it's very unusual so we think something's stopping him". I was so exhausted by this time I wasn't going to debate it. We went in for surgery and he arrived screaming at 12:18pm.

When doc saw baby he said, "oh yeah, this guy was never going to move down". He was sunny side up and that's the only reason doc could see why he wasn't dropping. Cord was around his neck so that was causing the dip in heart rate during contractions when he was being pushed down but not moving. Doc diagnosed "failure to engage" as reason for needing c-section.

I was blown away at hearing him scream. Miguel got up and watched them take care of him and they brought him over and laid him on me. I stared in awe. Miguel left with him while they stitched me up. Miguel and baby came back to recovery and we nursed him right away, he's an amazing nurser!

I didn't have the labor and delivery I hoped for. My mother had all c-sections and Miguel and siblings were all c-sections so we joked that we were doomed. I'll never know if I had avoided the epi if he would have dropped but I can't complain at this point. Seeing him sleep next to me is all that matters. I have the baby of my dreams and couldn't be happier.