Friday, May 29, 2009

When You Find Yourself in a Hole, Stop Digging.

The good news: Last week I did not gain 3 pounds as I expected. I only gained 2. I suppose that's a stretch for "good" news, but I'll take it where I can get it.

The bad news: I gained .2 pounds this week.

Maybe I should flip those. The bad news being I gained 2 pounds last week and the good news being I only gained .2 this week. I guess it's all about perspective. But I have more good news. I've made it to the gym a few times in the past two weeks. Again, could appear to be bad news but, for me, the way things have been going, every trip to the gym is a small victory. Also, I rode my road bike for the first time on Memorial Day. I wish I could say it was great fun but it wasn't. It was chilly, the wind was blowing in my face the whole time, it was hard, and I was alone. Next time I have to figure out a way to ride with someone else. I planned to ride up to Stafford Lake (about 7 miles) to meet Miguel for a picni. Instead I made it a little over 5 miles and asked him to pick me up when he passed, before I hit any of the hills. Ah well, at least I got my butt on the seat for a little bit.

I'm also battling a large appetite right now. I've been eating too much and now my body expects it. So I'm dealing with hunger, which isn't fun. I'm upping my protein, especially in my snacking, going for the Fage yogurt, oatmeal with a scoop of protein powder in it (an old BFL trick), cottage cheese. All things with high protein to keep me full. Nothing like hunger to make me feel I'm "entitled" to eat something. But I know my hunger cues are out of whack and I need to get them back to a more normal state.

My mood has been so-so. I am a broken record on this but working out just makes all the difference. When I don't exercise my mood tanks, and then I really don't want to work out and the cycle continues. Anyway, I think my motivation is on an upswing, and lord knows I need it. A good thing is I've eaten all the red light foods in the house and vowed not to purchase any more. I can't even purchase any yellow light foods because with my currently limited self control yellow light foods are essentially red light foods. Basically I can't purchase anything that is even remotely like a treat, which stinks, but it's what I have to do until I get things under better control. The tricky thing about being a food junkie is you can't banish it from your life.

One more thing is I'm not liking my current WW meeting. It goes past 30 minutes, which I don't like, the leader doesn't always start on time to boot, and she's very, I don't know, it feels like she's talking to us like we're children. She makes great points and has a lot to offer content-wise, but the delivery isn't doing it for me. We'll see, maybe I'll try a different one next week. Bottom line though, I go to a meeting every week, like it or not.

Baby update: Marek continues to do well. He's growing perfectly, which is always a relief. He's 11 weeks already! I think I'm still having milk supply issues but I've started taking Fenugreek to address it. It could be him though too, I don't know if this pulling and crying at the breast is due to not enough milk or him not wanting to "work" for it anymore. I'm starting to wonder if when the milk flow is no longer gushing out he starts with the pulling, latching off, crying, latching on, pulling, etc. Anyway, I will carry on. I will make it to my three month breastfeeding goal, and then we'll see. That's all for today. Please humor me in looking at a few pics of my baby :)