Friday, May 25, 2012

Cue the Confetti...another mini-goal reached!!

Can you tell I'm a little excited?  First, I made my mini-goal of getting back to my pre-pregnancy low weight of 158.8 pounds.  Second, I can't believe I lost weight this week, what with my beer/quesadilla/snickers evening.  Just goes to show that if you do what's right most of the time you can still manage.  Since I wasn't expecting the scale to go down (I was, in fact, expecting it to go up) I was caught off guard by suddenly reaching this goal.  But I shared the news on Facebook this morning and my fabulous FB peeps made it real by giving me a huge round of applause.  Wow, wow, wow - I am lighter than I have been in decades.  And at least as fit, which is almost more important.

So you already know about my eating choices Wednesday night.  Thursday I pulled it all back by making the best choices possible all day.  A salad with chicken breast and veggies for lunch.  I went to the gym after work and did a 25 minute run on the treadmill followed by strength training - back/biceps/core.  It was a tough workout due to the light eating and I was feeling shaky after so I had an AccelGel.  I know that "dieting" can't come at the expense of fueling my machine.  For dinner I had a nice bowl of pasta with roasted veggies and a big turkey meatball.  Very comfort foody.

I wasn't sure what would happen on the scale this morning but I hopped on with hope for the least amount of damage.  And whoa - down .8 pounds.  Good thing I reigned things in.

So for the first time I actually got mad at my WW meeting.  We were all discussing flavorful food options and some people shared their most flavorful food from the previous week and a few shared dessert type food (like a chocolate truffle).  Then this woman chimes in with, "I'd appreciate it if we focused more on on program foods, I personally find that more helpful.  I like to have flavorful food too but it's so much better when it's on program."  And she emphasized on program each time she said it.  Hmph.  I muttered that all food is on program and in my head I let her know I didn't appreciate her judgmental tone.  Unfortunately I had to leave the meeting early so I couldn't stay and add my two cents when she was done, which was probably good because I was genuinely peeved!  I think I feel a little defensive about WW and the fact that you are not instructed to eat (or not eat) any specific foods.  Yes, chocolate is not going to be a staple of your diet perhaps, but I've met several people who have a bit of chocolate every day and are very successful.  Later I felt bad for her that she just doesn't get it.  Yet.  Let's hope she does one day.

So now I need a new mini-goal.  I think I will go with 149.9 pounds.  At that weight I will officially cross into "normal" on the BMI so I think that is a good number to celebrate.  I'm getting so close to my goal weight I almost don't know what to do.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Mini Rebellion

Oh boy, things have gone from bad to worse in the food department.  I've had this rebellion thing going on the past few days.  I don't know if it's related to being sick or what but my eating has almost been angry, if that's possible.  The icing on the cake was last night.  I went to book club and despite already eating dinner (albeit a small one), I ordered and ate a cheese quesadilla with guacamole, two beers and part of someone else's dessert.  On the way home I bought, and ate, a snickers bar.  Talk about old behavior.  But you know what?  In some strange way I feel like I needed last night to kick my butt out of this state of, "I don't give a crap" mind.  And I think it worked.  I woke up feeling, not guilty, not regretful, but with a new feeling of motivation to get back on track.  I've been searching for this feeling for a couple weeks now I think.  And the snickers helped me get here (I think).  Weird.

Anyway, I read a bit of the Beck book last night and I'm going to make a few response cards today.  I've been reading The End of Overeating and it's all about how modern, processed food has turned our brains into mush and left us with uncontrollable eating habits.  I think the book has been bad for me in that I end up feeling powerless, like I have no choice, no control over what I do food-wise.  I made a decision to stop reading this book - or at least to jump to the final chapters in which the author, I hope, tells us how to re-train our brain.  I've been doing all this mental work on convincing myself that I'm in control, that I make the choice, that I have the power - and then I read this book that keeps hammering how our food and eating habits have become like that of a crack addict.  Not helpful. 

Ok, so enough blaming the being sick, or the book.  I'm back in the driver's seat here.  I expect to be up some this week but hopefully not by much.  I comforted myself this morning by saying, "even if you're up 2 or 4 pounds, it doesn't matter, all is not lost, pick up and move forward."  My 233.8 pound self would laugh at such a small setback.  Carry on Michelle!, she'd say. 

So I'm going to the gym today and I know I'm going to love it.  I plan to run and then do strength training. 

Before I close I want to share a picture of my lovely friend (and neighbor) Karen and I.  Karen is moving to Arizona, she's leaving the 'hood this weekend.  It's been so nice to have a friend that lives so close and I'm going to miss her and her beautiful son Kingston (and you too Nestor!).  I sure hope she comes back in three years like she's supposed to.  Karen actually gifted me the dress I'm wearing in this picture. 

I'll miss you Karen.  Remember, 3 years!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Morning Headaches

I have been waking up every morning with a headache for at least the past 5 days.  What the heck is that about?  I used to get headaches pretty regularly but when I'm exercising/eating right I hardly ever get them.  Granted, I've not been exercising much this past week due to being sick but I don't think that would cause a headache every morning.  Today I woke up at 6am but yesterday morning the headache woke me at 2am.  The good thing is ibuprofen seems to do the trick but a headache is no way to start the day and I'm over it.  (Update:  I decided the headaches were related to allergies.  Not sure, but in any case they stopped).

And, I am still coughing.  Getting over this chest cold is a slow process.  But I still manged to have a super fun weekend.  You know I did the obstacle course 5k on Saturday.  On Sunday we spent the morning with the kidlets and in the evening we had friends over for dinner.  We grilled carne asada and veggies and had chips and salsa - it was super yummy but I ate too much.  Including too much of the too good arroz con leche (rice pudding) I made.  And I had a couple beers, which always spikes my appetite.  Anyway, I chocked it all up to a special occasion (it was a bon voyage dinner for our friends who are moving out of state) and tagged Monday as a day to clean up my eating act.

Monday I had to eat lunch at home and, unfortunately, I hit the chips and salsa again and polished off the arroz con leche.  Oh, and I ate some chocolate too.  Don't ask.  That left me feeling grumpy and irritated with myself.  Though I was still coughing I decided I had to go to the gym before my mood dips into the full-on blues.  I went with a plan to do some walking, maybe ride the bike a bit, and then some weight training - nothing too serious.  But after a few minutes walking on the treadmill I decided to give running a try.  I really wanted the endorphins.  And it was fine, I coughed a bit in the first five minutes but once I was moving things were fine.  I ran for 25 minutes, mostly at 5.5mph.  It was when I stopped that I suddenly started coughing a lot.  My lungs felt all squishy, if that makes sense.  Anyway, after the run I did legs/shoulders/core.  I ended up doing my normal legs workout.  I drew a line in the sand, I was tired of being sick and I just wanted to do my normal thing.  But boy-oh-boy I was exhausted afterward!

Dinner was leftover (homemade) pizza and I barely hung on until the kids went to bed.  Sadly I happened upon some old Easter candy (that I didn't even know we had!) and in my weakened, tired state I ate three mini (even smaller than fun-size) chocolate candies.  Fortunately I went to bed without eating even more.  I've been faithfully tracking all this eating though, so that makes me feel better.  That reminds me, I need to get that Easter candy out of the house.  I did a weight-check this morning and I'm only up .4 pounds - not bad considering all the food I've eaten.

Today has gone well, I had Chipotle for lunch but I had the kids' taco kit.  It's a perfect amount of food for only 7 points (I skip the chips and the drink).  I get two corn tortillas, the black beans, chicken (or barbacoa - same points), and bell pepper/onions with a side of pico de gallo.  Makes two healthy sized tacos and I'm happy.

I'm planning on going to the gym after work.  Hopefully I can ride the bike, though level 7 has been kicking my butt lately so I might have to take it down a notch until I'm done with this cough.  Either way, I'm getting my heart rate revved up.

The last thing is I've got my eye out for an event for July/August and/or September/October.  After the sprint tri on June 16th I've got nothing until the Olympic in November.  That won't work.