Thursday, March 15, 2012

Miss Cranky Pants

Yep, that's me.  I'm struggling with a lingering bad mood.  Earlier in the week I figured I was just tired from camping but my mood is still on the tense side.  I've been walking around with a clenched jaw and it isn't fun.  I think at least part of it is due to only getting to the gym twice this week so far.  The gym, unlike any other time in my life, keeps me sane and balanced. 

I went on Tuesday and rode the upright bike for 25 minutes, level 7.  Man, it was tough! Maybe it was because I hadn't been on a bike in a week.  My legs were dying and I had to do some mental trickery to keep going.  That's usually reserved only for running.  After the bike I did back/biceps/core work.  The assisted pull-ups were getting better but today they were hard again.  I had fun doing the jackknife's and generally felt good working my body.  So that was Tuesday, my first trip to the gym this week.

I was hoping I could figure out a way to go to the gym yesterday (Wednesday) but it didn't happen. I did have a great day celebrating Marek's third birthday.  I had some mom friends and their little ones over for a little playdate, cake eating, candle blowing fun.  Marek was so excited he could barely contain himself.  And I baked a cake but had to buy some butter cream frosting at Whole Foods when I ran out of time.  The cake was good.  Yummy!  I had a couple small pieces. 

And then in the evening I went to book club to discuss House of Mirth.  Over a margarita - or two.  And chips.  Yes, I took in a ton of calories yesterday.  The gym would have been a nice balance to that.  Oh well, can't make it work all the time.

Today, Thursday, I made it to the gym.  But I got there later than I planned and I had to fly through my routine.  I started with a run, 2 miles in a little less than 22 minutes on the treadmill.  It was tough but I pushed through.  After I did chest/triceps/core.  I felt like it was time to add another real pushup to the count so I did 5 real and 3 on the smith machine.  It was a challenge but I was able to do them.  I am slowly moving toward my goal of being able to do three sets of 8 real pushups.  When I started doing pushups I could only do 3, total.  Progress, I love it!  I was moving so fast my heart was racing as I squeezed every second out of the 45 minutes I had at the gym.  I got everything except triceps cable pushdowns.  But I have three triceps exercises (cable pushdowns, bench dips, dumbbell kickbacks) so I don't feel like I totally missed out.

For the first time in what seems like forever I left the gym without stretching.  I should do some stretches now.  I hope I don't wake up all stiff and achy.  More importantly, I hope I wake up on the right side of the bed.  I am going to the gym tomorrow and Saturday and if it doesn't rain I have a long ride planned for Sunday morning.  If all this exercise doesn't turn my mood around I don't what I'll do.  And crud, just remembered I weigh myself in the morning.  It's not going to be pretty after all the camping food, party food and margaritas/chips.  That's not going to help my mood but I'll have to just deal.  It's not like anyone forced those margaritas on me, right?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Camping and Changing Tastes

Camping was a success.  We arrived just as it was getting dark and ended up having to switch campsites as ours had a dangerous drop down to the river.  After moving our friend's stuff and making/eating dinner in the dark Miguel and I were both pretty cranky.  Miguel told me to cancel all future camping trips.  That night the kids slept through what felt like hurricane winds.  After that evening and night the rest of the trip was a breeze.  The kids slept fine each night, probably due to the non-stop fun.  We spent the day at the beach on both Friday and Saturday.  Lots of great memories were made and all future camping trips are back on the calendar.  As soon as we unloaded the car Marek asked, "Daddy, can we go camping tomorrow?"

On Saturday morning I managed to get in a run.  I had imagined my run being along some gorgeous bluff overlooking the ocean.  Instead it was through the campgrounds.  It was still beautiful.  There was an empty stretch of road along the river, about a mile long that was particularly enjoyable.  I'm not sure how far I ran, my gps kept losing satellite under all the tree cover but I ran for 42 minutes.  I was very happy to get some exercise in given all the yummy food and drink.

Speaking of food I had a food encounter that shows how my relationship and behavior with food has changed over the past five years.  Catherine brought some stuffed peanut butter cookies to the beach.  They were so good.  At one point I reached in and broke off a bite of one and put the rest back for later.  Not because I was trying to restrain myself but because that was all I wanted.  The old me wouldn't have conceived of such a thing.  I only wanted a bite so that's all I took. 

And somewhat related, but mostly not, was what happened Sunday evening.  I had to run to the store for milk and decided I wanted ice cream.  I was planning to get one of those tiny single serving ones but they looked too tiny so I got two.  One chocolate and one vanilla caramel swirl.  I also bought a tray of Oreo cookies because I wanted to try the special birthday ones.  I ate 5 or 6 of the cookies (and gave the rest away at work) and decided I didn't love them.  On to the ice cream.  Yes, I am that kind of food junkie.  I opened the chocolate one.  It was so disappointing.  I took two bites and threw the rest away.  I hoped the vanilla swirl would be better.  I took a bite of that and quickly realized I'd gotten a "light" version.  Yuck.  Down the garbage disposal.  All in all I probably ate 1/2 of one.  Both of the ice creams were Dreyers Slow Churned and I think that was my mistake.  All light and fluffy when what I wanted was real ice cream.  And I didn't feel the urge to beat myself up over the cookies and ice cream.  Maybe I shouldn't be so casual about it but I just don't feel like it's that big of a deal. 

And then I realized my taste has really changed.  Or maybe I'm just figuring out what my real taste is - as opposed to eating driven by compulsion or habit.  This isn't a big Aha! moment, it's more of a realization that I've changed.  Slowly, very slowly, and with a lot of changes to come.  I don't have to eat food just because it's there.  Around here we have a lot of cars with the Life is too Short for Bad Wine bumper sticker.  Change that to ice cream and I might have to put it on my car next to the USA Triathlon sticker.