Saturday, January 17, 2015

A Thousand Titles

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I don't have any explanations, no apologies or promises to change. And, lucky for you, I won't try and summarize the six weeks of my absence. I'll just start now. Because now is the time, this is it, there is no other time. I'm not trying to be super mindfulness zen girl on you, but I realized today that it's easier to start if you start where you are, instead of trying to go back to where you left off and start there.

My A Thousand Titles title of today's post has to do with all the blog titles I thought up on today's run. Some were...

These Legs!
The Whole Story
This Body!
What Does 6+1 Equal?

I could go on and on but I won't waste more of your time. I ran 7 miles today. I haven't exercised with any regularity since Christmas Eve. And today's was a glorious, redemptive, heart-wide-open run. I knew it would be, I was ready. I have so much more to say about everything and I want to start writing about it. It's hard to write when you are not ready to tell the whole story.

I know I'm all over the place here but bear with me, I'll get to it and I hope it all comes together in the end. Because if it doesn't come together, it's not the end.

I'll close with a status report...

Weight: Somewhere above 145. After my run this morning it was 146 point something.
Exercise: Sketchy, inconsistent, but still happening. Today's run was a re-commitment to something more regular.
Eating: Sketchy, inconsistent, but still happening. Am I trying to be funny? Not so much really. It's been decidedly not eating in a way that supports my goals. But it hasn't been an all out Bacchanalia either. Well, sometimes it was. Like that meal in Vegas that included 9 scoops of various ice creams, gelato and granitas and two dessert plus four pieces of chocolate with the bill. And that was only the desserts. Of course we didn't actually eat all that food, but ok, the point is, occasional Bacchanalia. I wish it were all fancy Vegas fare but some of it has been fast food and candy bars, the poor man's Bacchanalia. Whatever, what's done is done..move on...start here, now.
Confidence/Faith/Motivation: Mediocre, and why shouldn't it be, given the above? I have to be careful, I can dive into woe is me sometimes and that line of thinking just does not HELP the situation. It hurts. So again, the redemption of running. It has and will save me. Again. No, I will save myself.
WW: I'm going to meetings most weeks. I'm over my maintenance weight at the moment but hope to get back under it within a week or two. And then continue my path back down below 145. 

Ok, I'm done. I plan to write again tomorrow, and the day after that. I need to write, I want to write.

I sincerely hope all my regular (and new - welcome!) readers are doing well. Don't give up, never give up. You might get knocked down, but get back up again sister!