Night Rider

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In the interest of my getting some sleep this is going to be a post heavy on pictures and light on words. Of course I've said that before and then I go on to practically write a novel.

So the camping trip I mentioned in my last post was a lot of driving but also a lot of fun. This is my mom's aunt's side of the family and they go every year.

Pacific Valley Campground, Stanislaus National Forest

This is the first year we joined in but we're planning to go from now on. Due to scheduling issues Miguel drove up on Thursday with my mom and the kids and I drove up solo on Friday after work. It's about a 4 hour drive up to Pacific Valley Campgrounds near Lake Alpine in the Sierra Nevada range. I got a bit lost when I passed the entry to the campground and continued to drive about 30 minutes in the wrong direction. I eventually arrived but was so wiped out from a full day of work plus 5 hours of driving that I went straight to bed.

Up bright and early to the lovely sound of Miguel offering to get me coffee. That and the kids climbing all over me and I was ready to face the day. It's just beautiful up there with granite, trees, meadows, rivers and lakes - an abundance of beauty. We had about 30+ family members there, including a lot of kids, so the activity level was high.

After breakfast we took some of the kids on a little exploration walk.

My niece Elise with the kids and Miguel

Munchkin #2 and I

 And one of the sweetest pictures ever taken of the four of us.

 Miguel is a bit appalled by his morning hair but I still love the picture.

After our walk we packed up to head to Lake Alpine for the day. We also packed to go home because we were driving home after the lake. I know, quick turnaround for me.

Girls playing in dirt - I love it!

Sadly I don't have even one picture from our day at the lake. I left the camera in the car and was too busy being relaxed to go get it. We had a whole bunch of fun including squirt gun fights and taking the kids out on kayaks around the lake. They loved the kayaks so much I've got my eye on Craigslist to maybe pick up a used one.

I'd made a conscious decision to NOT use the camping trip as an excuse to eat a bunch of junk. That all went well until I had a couple beers at the lake. Then I started into the Doritos, salami, cheese - you get the idea. I don't think I ate a crazy amount but those were not healthy choices that's for sure. Luckily it was only one day of such eating so I didn't get too derailed. Anyway, the lake was a great time. Next year I'm taking some days off so we can stay longer. In fact, Miguel had so much fun he decided to stay one more night and drive home at the crack of dawn for his soccer game on Sunday.

After the lake my mom and I drove home (she had to be back on Saturday). We stopped at In-n-Out for dinner. I had a burger (with no cheese and with ketchup/mustard instead of special (read: mayo) sauce), fries and a strawberry shake. I had the burger and about half the fries and then started drinking the shake. It was super sweet and after about a 1/4 of it I'd had enough. I happily threw the rest away (seeing the calories on the menu sure influences behavior for me).

Sunday morning I hired the neighbor girl to watch the kids so I could Swim with Pedro. I don't have the group shot from this week but here's a fun one from last week.

There I am!

I need to work on my jump photo skills, that woman on the left is so good! Anyway, I again decided to swim inside the pier. We had our pep talk and then hit the water. I swam and swam and swam and things were going really smooth. I think I was the slowest but I at least could see people from our group up ahead of me when I sighted. And then the fast swimmers who swam around the pier were coming in so I turned around to swim back.

We regrouped near the opening to the bay and one of the coaches said we could swim across the opening and along the other side to extend our swim. I decided to do that. Swimming across the opening to the bay was wild! Choppy water had me bouncing up and down like I was in a washing machine - and it was so friggin' fun! I was having a blast shooting my arms up out of the water and rocking and rolling with the bay. And then I was on the other side and things were smooth again. I swam along the other wall for a bit and then decided to cut back to shore.

I was swimming all by myself, with no one else in sight and suddenly started thinking about sharks. Dammit. But I forced my mind onto other topics and thankfully, did not get eaten by a shark. So the choppy water made me feel ready to brave the outside of the pier. I talked to a coach after about how slow I'll be and how long it will take me and he said that was fine, they'll wait for me. He said they'll announce when it's a good day to attempt outside the wall for the first time so I'll keep my ears open for that. Oh, one last thing. When we were taking our group photo a bunch of tourists stopped to take our pictures too. I'm doing something tourist picture-worthy, ha! Which also reminds me, when I was walking up to the park I heard a woman say, "Swim...here?". Yep, I thought, swim here.

Ok, so the big thing is how I felt when I got out of the water. LIKE A MILLION BUCKS! I was so happy and joyous and happy and alive and happy. It was like I got a runner's high out on the water and I floated through the rest of the day. I came home and made myself a spinach salad with tuna and veggies before doing some serious post-camping housekeeping.

Spinach, tuna, veggies, FF balsamic dressing and olive oil because fat is healthy.

Then I met up with Miguel after his soccer game so he could hang with the kids for a bit while I ran some errands. And guess what? I was feeling so good I took my hot little butt to the gym to lift weights. Bam! I did back/biceps/PT exercises and oh, by the way, my back has been hurting again :( I guess that's what happens when you slack on the PT exercises. But I'm back on track now.

Came home and had a healthy dinner of black beans, rice, avocado, pico de gallo - the usual. Yum. I'm pretty sure I ate some other junk later (gee, awfully memorable junk eh?) but I can't remember and in any case don't think it was overload. And then I had to run to Target after the kids were in bed for some household stuffs. And I might have purchased some dark chocolate covered almonds and ate them while I shopped. Dark chocolate covered almonds must be what heaven tastes like. That is, if you could eat heaven. Which if it's all they say it is, maybe you can. Whoa - the late hour and slight headache I have is making me punchy.

On to today. HOT day. The blistering sun drained me. I came home and looked at my 10-mile training ride and groaned. Thankfully Miguel suggested I go after dinner when it wasn't in 90+ degrees outside. So after dinner I procrastinated to no end and then finally changed into my bike clothes. And put my bike light on my bike because it was already 7:45 so I knew I'd be riding in the dark.

I rode the 10 miles with a plan to end at the gym and do a quick workout. The ride was great, I felt strong and capable. It started getting dark so I turned on my lights and hoped the neon yellow shirt I was wearing would help cars see me. I got to the gym at 8:30, having ridden exactly 10 miles.

My ride elevation profile. Full Garmin stats here.

It took me just over 40 minutes to ride the 10 miles. I was happy with that. I had 30 minutes to exercise (and had forgotten about shoes so I had to workout in bike shoes - doh!). I did chest/tricep/PT exercises and then hit the road for the ~3 mile ride home. The ride home was AMAZING. The moon was (almost?) full, the streets were quiet and empty, the crickets were singing to me, the air was cool and crisp. Night riding, now there's something fun.

I took the big hill way home and stopped to take a picture of myself.

Me, and my shadow. And the moon.

Happiness. It's not overrated. We can't expect to feel good all of the time but when we do, go with it, roll with it, soak it up. I might have to see if I can find some crazy friends to go on a night ride sometime. It sure was fun.

So I came home and stretched and then showered. I've got some hunger in the tumbler (yes, silly word for my stomach) but I'll let it lie and just go to bed. That should help offset the Doritos.

Ok, that's all I got! Hope you're out there finding your happiness too!!

p.s. I forgot to weigh myself this past Friday. Whoops!

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I am a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for weight loss and maintenance. I have an office in Marin County, CA and I'm also available to see people via Skype. To learn more please visit my professional website at www.michellefunez.com

Mommy Guilt

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It's Tuesday and I'm two days into a three day plan to eat clean, at least my definition of clean. It's not been perfect, which of course would have been nice, but it's helping in the ways I was hoping it would so that's good. I'll back up just a bit before I get to the imperfection.

Monday I went to the gym after work and did strength training - chest/triceps/PT exercises. It was the first time I'd done my PT exercises in at least a week and I could almost see Kate's raised eyebrows. The amazing thing is that my back had been practically cured, I haven't taken ibuprofen in at least a couple weeks and hadn't been noticing any back pain at all. 

After the gym I went home to get my bike for my planned 8-mile training ride. Miguel is home with the kids on Monday and they were super excited to see me, I got a nice round of "Mommmyyy!!!" when I walked in the door, quickly followed by hugs and kisses. The guilt of knowing I was only there to change and leave was immediate. I told the kids about my leaving again and they quickly set in with, "I'll go with you." My daughter was particularly persistent, "I got an idea mommy, I'll get my helmet, wait right here I'll go get it, and we'll go together." Broke.my.heart.

Times like that I really question myself...why am I doing this? My daughter was filled with excitement and enthusiasm at seeing me, and I just changed and left. Ugh. Of course I know why, and I have to remind myself that the next 7 weeks of training are not how the other 45 weeks of the year play out. Normally I don't come home until I'm done with my workout. Actually I plan to take my bike and gear on Mondays from now on so I don't come home and cause a disruption by leaving again. It's only going to get worse as the distances get longer - but come 9/29 it will all but be over.

Tuesday was a short run, 15 minutes on the treadmill for 1.69 miles, followed by legs/shoulders/PT exercises. I couldn't do my full run or strength routine because I'd gotten to the gym too late. So I did what I could and considered doing the rest later. Then I met Miguel and the kids at Chinese Food for dinner. I planned on having a tuna/avocado roll (this is a Chinese restaurant with a sushi bar inside) but ended up taking more than a few bites of the food Miguel had ordered (fried rice, sesame chicken, etc). I ate more than I needed to but didn't go crazy with it. And, my back started hurting again. I guess that's what happens when you skip your PT exercises for a week.

My baby babies.

Today was my day home with the kids. I had a doctor appointment this morning and my private practice in the afternoon. The practice is going really well, I only have one slot left open. It's tempting to think about adding more time, especially as I've been contacted about other days/times, but for now I really need to stay balanced given the triathlon training and all.

My eating today was quite commendable until this evening. We are taking a somewhat impromptu camping trip and Miguel was starting to pack and (insert myriad excuses here). Whatever, I ate a bunch of junk. I think I need to pay sharp attention when my routine gets thrown off - that's when I go off the reservation for a while and then I have to struggle and claw my way back. Even if it's for a short time, I'd rather just stay on track all the time. But who wouldn't, right?

Sometimes I think I should be one of those people who cuts out whole food groups altogether. No sugar, no processed this or that, no wheat, no soy - etc. But I know that won't work for me for life, at least I'm not committed to it so that's why it won't work. But on-again off-again in terms of what I will or won't eat isn't easy either (mostly I'm talking processed/junk foods really). Let's hope the camping food choices don't send me spinning for two weeks anyway. Oh my, I'm not sure I'm even making sense at this point. If you're confused, it's me, not you. I better get to bed, it's way too late to be writing.

ps - I went on a bike/tricycle ride with my kids tonight. It was short (on distance, not time), but after Monday, oh so sweet. Looking forward to many more rides with them in the years to come and grateful to have a body and mind that are up for it.

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I am a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for weight loss and maintenance. I have an office in Marin County, CA and I'm also available to see people via Skype. To learn more please visit my professional website at www.michellefunez.com

Run, Swim, Shop

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My last post included the sentence, "I'm hoping to get out for a 4 mile run today." Did I get out for it? Come on, you know me better than that, of course I did. But it wasn't easy. By the time Miguel got home from work I felt SO tired, the last thing I wanted to do was go on a run. But I flooded my brain with all the stuff I know works - "You'll feel better after." and "You'll feel like crap later if you bag it." and the always popular, "You ate a lot of junk today, the run will help balance that out." - that all worked to get me changed into my running clothes and the rest was history.

I ran 4 miles in 39:11 for an average pace of 9:47 minute miles. The first mile was slower but I was able to pick it up after that, running the next 3 miles progressively faster. And, as promised, I felt better after. Not just better, but great! And I must have left that tired feeling out on the road somewhere because I felt energized and ready to roll for the rest of the evening.

4 mile training run. Full Garmin stats here.

My food choices the rest of the day weren't stellar, I had some beans and avocado for dinner but then went on to have some of those damn Hawaiian dinner rolls and a bowl of Kashi. Ugh.

Today was a Swim with Pedro day, I was up and on the road with Shelly by 9am. I just got the group picture from last week.

I made it easy to spot me :)

Today's swim was awesome! 62 degrees is right up my alley. This time I went with the group that swims around the inside of the pier. Shelly and I decided to stick together since all the other swimmers are so much faster. The current in the park kept us pushing hard but once we were next to the pier it was a lot easier. We swam out and turned around about half way to the end of the pier. Not sure how long we were in the water.

Here's a picture to give you an idea of our route in Aquatic Park.

I felt so good changing out of my wetsuit into my warm clothes. My feet were numb again but not as bad as last week. I was done changing when someone called my name, "Michelle?...I read your blog." How fun! Ariel is from the East Bay and has been following my blog for about 6 months. So fun to meet a reader in real life I had to take a picture with her.

Hi Ariel!!

Turns out Ariel is doing the AquaBike event at the same Santa Cruz Triathlon I'm doing - so cool!!

Feeling good and done with our swim Shelly and I ran to Sports Basement to do a little tri shopping. I've been wanting a transition bag. I tried to buy some from Craigslist but had no luck. Shelly just got one by Blue Seventy that she loves so I got that one.

Love my new transition bag!

This purchase has been a long time coming. I'm like a real triathlete now! It will be fun to take this thing to Santa Cruz.

So I had a nice plan to come home and make a healthy sandwich for lunch. I'm thinking about finishing up my 7-day clean eating thing I started way back when and didn't finish. I still owe myself 3 days and I think it's warranted now given all the dinner rolls and whatnot. Anyway, the kids were still playing at the soccer field and I was starving so I bought two pupusas (cheese and zucchini - at least there were veggies!) and had those for lunch. Yum! And I might have had some of the kids' goldfish crackers. I think the 3-day clean eating will have to start now.

Ok, that's all I got. The training plan calls for an 8-mile bike tomorrow. Looking forward to the wind in my face again, it was so nice last week. So happy to be triathloning once again, I love the multi-sport!!

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I am a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for weight loss and maintenance. I have an office in Marin County, CA and I'm also available to see people via Skype. To learn more please visit my professional website at www.michellefunez.com

Positive Peer Pressure and Learning from the Best

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The training is over and oh boy am I mentally wiped out. It was described as a 4-day intensive (on CBT), emphasis on the intensive. The training ran Tue-Fri and on Tue and Thur we went from 8am - 9pm! On those days lunch was provided. I'd decided to eat whatever was served, figuring they'd have some healthy items and I could do a smaller portion of the entree if it was unhealthy. Well, pretty much the whole thing was low on the healthy, high on the comfort scale. The first day was lasagna, pesto pasta, salads drenched in dressing, garlic bread...you get the idea. Oh, but there were steamed veggies, so I loaded up on those and did the best I could with the rest.

The worst part was no protein other than the cheese in the lasagna. I'd packed my own snacks so that helped the day's overall "healthy food" quotient.

So we were running behind on the schedule just before the dinner break, which was from 4:30 - 6:30. It was getting on to 4:45pm when I mumbled, "Come on, I need the whole two hours" when a woman at my table, Diane, said, "You going to exercise?" Yep! I didn't realize we had a whole two hour break on those long days but when I saw the agenda that morning I was so glad I'd packed my gym bag for just such a scenario. Anyway, I had a plan to pay a day-use fee at a gym around the corner but Diane said she found a nearby path and planned to go for a run.

"Want some company?" She was up for it!

Hi Diane!!

After we got all the "I'm so slow" stuff figured out (turns out, we're both slow) we decided to run together. The path is part of The Bay Trail and runs along the water. Between the views and the breezy conditions, it was perfect for running. Thanks Diane! We did a quick warm-up and then ran for 35 minutes. I didn't have my Garmin so no idea how far we went but I can't tell you how much better I felt afterward. There's not much that can't be helped by a run.

Oyster Point - South San Francisco, Bay Trail

A quick change in the park bathroom and then off to find dinner. I ended up getting taqueria food - grilled chicken, black beans, avocado, pico de gallo and a little cheese. The portions were huge so I about half and was full. I felt bad tossing out the rest of the food but couldn't really save it either.

That night I was lucky enough to bunk up at my friend Joan's house about 15 minutes away. She greeted me with a glass of wine and by the time I'd gone to bed an hour or so later I'd polished off a second glass as well as a few slices of french baguette with cheddar cheese. Oh, I forgot to mention the desserts at lunch - chocolate chip cookies and bite-sized brownies. Had one of each.

I was up and back at the conference at 8am the next morning. Brutal! Wednesday was only 8am - 4pm and we were on our own for lunch. They had lunchtime presentations all four days and they were all very interesting (hypnosis in teens/children with anxiety, attention bias modification in body image, etc) so I chose Vietnamese - bbq short ribs, white rice, salad - and ate during the lunch presentation. I also had snacks for Day 2 that I'd packed in advance so I was covered on that.

I drove home after the days' training and had a couple evening appointments for my private practice. It was particularly exciting to do some clinical work after all the intensive training. The direct practice work was particularly interesting after two days' of studying this stuff. Then home for a late dinner - Papa Murphy's pizza - in which I ate probably twice as much pizza as I needed. I noticed a comfort-eating trend during the four days of the training but just tried to be gentle with myself given all the mental energy required. I had to stop at the store on the way home from my office and ended up buying and eating two small chocolate bars (Nestle Crunch Girl Scout flavors - Thin Mint, Peanut Butter Creme - who's the marketing genius that came up with that idea?!). At least I thought they were small. Funny how I'd kind of forgotten about that until now.

uh oh, no socks!

Back up at the crack-of-dawn on Thursday to make the 8am start time. Another long but fruitful day of training. This time the lunch provided was make-your-own sandwiches, an improvement on the day prior. I went against normal protocol and put mayo on my sandwich :/ Mayo is such a waste, I didn't even notice it. Wish I'd packed an avocado. Moving on. It was getting close to the 4:30pm dinner break when I noticed my mind drifting toward reasons not to go for another run, "I'm tired, some rest would be nice," etc, etc. Knowing Diane was going provided just the positive peer pressure I needed so I went to change. Oh no, no socks! I would've run in the little peds I had on but fortunately Diane had some socks to loan me. Whew! Because of the mental drain of the training we decided to run alone. Another beautiful run, bumping along to my run playlist and feeling some of the mental stress from the last three days melt away.

After the run I did some pushups, squats and lunges to round out the workout. I felt a million times better and was SO thankful I'd not flaked out on myself. We changed back into our professional clothes and then had to hustle to find dinner. We ended up with Japanese, I had a spicy tuna roll with avocado and a seaweed salad. Yum!

After lunch a woman from another table did something interesting. She walked over to our table and set down a half of a Snickers bar and a cup filled with chocolate almonds and some other treats, "I have to get these away from me." That's great, of course I am totally understanding of that. But that meant they were directly in my line of site. I found my attention kept going back to the chocolate so after a few minutes I got up and put a piece of paper over it. Out of sight, out of mind worked in this case and I was no longer distracted by her chocolate. I'd done enough damage the night before.

Thursday night I was lucky enough to have a hotel room directly across from the conference center. The evening session had been particularly challenging and I left feeling entirely drained. Fortunately there were a few participants staying at my hotel and I was able to process a bit with them. It was nice to hear we were all feeling challenged by the material and practice of the methods, which allowed me to go a bit easier on myself. The two glasses of wine didn't exactly hurt either.

Back at it at 8am for day 4, the last day. I'd had oatmeal and coffee at the hotel but then had a half-bagel with cream cheese at the conference, and more coffee. The dense materials and the long days caught up with me; I was exhausted.  I felt like I could fall asleep at my table, which I saw quite a few people actually doing. Lunch rolled around and again, I went for comfort. Diane and I drove to downtown and saw Thai - perfect! I had a combination lunch plate - basil eggplant and yellow curry with brown rice and a salad - and we ate that during the lunch presentation. After lunch I pepped up and felt alive again, which meant a better focus during the second half of the day.

Lots of hugs and smiling faces. By the way, it only looks like I'm kicking my leg up in this picture, there's a chair in my way so I had to put my leg on it :)

My table-mates from the training - we all survived!

With David. I love this picture!

So the training was with David Burns, MD - a genius/pioneer in the field of psychology, specifically in CBT. I felt so grateful to learn from him over the past four days. When anyone takes a picture with him he asks you to tickle him so he can smile. It worked! I love both our smiles in this picture.

Well, that's the last four days. I had my normal cereal for breakfast, along with a slice of toasted cinnamon bread (Greenlees - entirely evil) with butter, and my coffee. Carrying on with the comfort foods...writing this post is helping motivate me to get back on track. The unusually yummy foods over the last four days were great, but it's back to regular life now, and I need want to stop with the high-calorie stuff. I know if I keep eating this way I'm going to feel like crud.

I'm hoping to get out for a 4 mile run today. Miguel is working so it will have to be a late afternoon jaunt. Tomorrow I'm hitting the bay for another Swim with Pedro. Shelly and I are carpooling, which is just the pressure I need to make sure I don't make any excuses to skip it. I love positive peer pressure, especially when it comes to exercise!!

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I am a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for weight loss and maintenance. I have an office in Marin County, CA and I'm also available to see people via Skype. To learn more please visit my professional website at www.michellefunez.com

Triathlon, Oh How I've Missed You.

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This is going to be a quick post. I'm sitting in a conference room waiting for a 4-day intensive CBT training to start. That means this might be my last post for the coming week. The week has been stellar so far, though it's only Tuesday morning so that helps. But my motivation is high, which always makes everything easier. Yesterday I went to the gym after work, doing my strength training routine - back/biceps/PT exercises - before heading home and getting on my bike for the 5-mile ride on my training plan.

I had hoped to finish up the ride before dinner but in the end I got home just when dinner was starting so I knew I'd miss it. Miguel was very supportive of my getting the ride done, he knows I'm pushing to get some traction with my training plan. I hopped on the bike and because I was so pressed for time I didn't take any of my normal "stuff" - no Garmin, no heart rate monitor - nor did I remember to take the basics, like water. But I was only riding 5 miles so I was fine.

So I'm on my bike heading down the street, wind in my hair, feeling like I'm gliding when I thought, "Oh triathlon, how I've missed you." I do enjoy running but man have I missed the multi-sport. It's just so fun! I guessed on a route that turned out to be 5.4 miles - perfect!

Post-ride smile!

Back home and I had dinner - red beans and eggs. I was still hungry so I munched on this and that as I made the kids' lunches. There was a huge bag of Kettle chips leftover from camping last weekend. Despite not being my favorite I found myself repeatedly dipping in them. So I wrapped them up and put them in Miguel's trunk outside. That did the trick.

I had some brussells sprouts that were starting to wilt so I cooked them up and they hit the spot. About halfway through trimming off the ends I got frustrated and just threw the rest in. Turns out the ends cook up just fine and I hardly noticed they hadn't been trimmed. I might be eating more brussells sprouts in the future because the trimming sometimes stops me from buying them. Yay!

After getting the kids' lunches done I started in on my own food. This 4-day training is likely going to involve some "bad" snacks and I don't want to be hungry and at the mercy of conference food. So I packed an apple and Greek yogurt for my morning snack and a string cheese and sliced turkey breast for my afternoon snack. And I made a commitment to myself to skip the provided snacks. Lunch is also provided and barring fried twinkies being the entree, I'll be eating the served lunch.

Today's schedule goes until 9pm so I likely won't be getting any exercise in, though I did pack some running clothes just in case the opportunity presents itself. Ok - the conference is getting started so I have to run...have a great week!

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I am a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for weight loss and maintenance. I have an office in Marin County, CA and I'm also available to see clients via Skype. To learn more please visit my professional website at www.michellefunez.com