Creative Fitness

I lost 2.2 pounds this week for a total of 25.4 pounds lost! Weight watchers gave me a new charm for my WW key chain, a 25 pound charm that looks like a fishing weight. It's cute and I appreciate the milestone marker. It's incentive not to go backwards.

As you all know I've got my "must exercise" weight and I'm only 8.4 pounds away from that now. I have been thinking more and more about exercise. Over 6 months ago I made a commitment, bore out of too much time on the couch. That commitment was to do one social activity a week. My life had become a series of trips between work, the grocery store, the gas station and my couch. I wasn't getting out at all and I was depressed. Now I do something every weekend and amazingly my schedule is booked through August! Most of the time a commitment does not feel like the chore it used to feel like. I am socializing, getting out of the house, and having fun.

This success got me to thinking. What if I make a commitment to do one physical activity a week? I'm thinking hiking, tennis, swimming, racquetball, walking, etc. Basically getting some fun physical activity in. I purchased 2 new hiking books and they have a lot of "easy" and "moderate" hikes that I could do. I also have a book about biking trails in my area. My husband is game for anything so I could easily get him to go with me if needed. I haven't ridden my mountain bike in ages so I can get that ready to go and do some easy rides. I'm not so much thinking about doing these things as "working out" but more to get myself moving in an enjoyable way to change my thinking around "working out". Again, having what I do be a reflection of what's going on inside. I've written before about my being in therapy. One thing I'm learning is that I have a pattern of feeling that things are forced upon me. I resist exercise like an adolescent resists cleaning their room, I haven't felt like it's what I want to do but something someone is making me do. That needs to change. I need to remember that the most enjoyable part of being in shape for me is being able to do things that I want to do. That I want to do. I used to love riding to a beautiful picnic spot in a remote area on a beautiful day. I really enjoyed hikes with big, beautiful, payoff views. I want to do those things again. I'm missing out on so much of life right now.

So - one physical activity per week. It can be an after work hike, a short, easy bike ride, swimming a few laps...anything. I feel really good about this. It's a good lead-in to my impending exercise routine. I'm starting to envision a workout routine that is part gym and part outdoors stuff. I can't do what I did before and fall flat. I have to try something different.

Another Loss.

Lost .4 pounds this week. And that means I've now lost 10% of my body weight. Weight Watchers is big on the 10%, it's like your first major goal on the plan. They talk about all the health benefits of losing 10% of your weight..."By losing just 10 percent of your body weight, you can lower your cholesterol and reduce your blood pressure". I guess that would be true for 5% or 15% but they like the 10% and make a big deal out of it. I got a silver key chain, which I put my 16 week charm on. They give you a charm at 16 weeks because they say coming to meetings for 16 weeks really establishes it as a habit and shows you are committed. Anyway, I like the support and clapping and motivation I get from the meetings.

So, now I'm 10.6 pounds away from my "must exercise" weight. I'm thinking about joining a gym near my house that I once belonged to.

In other news....I may have a job offer in Hawaii by the end of the week! I'm freaking out! I've wanted to move back to Hawaii (went to undergrad at UH) for a while now but now that it might happen I'm scared! We'll see. Maybe I'll be posting from the beach soon

Whew!

I lost 3 pounds this week! It's nice to drop down. I am now 11 pounds away from my "must exercise" weight. I have allowed myself the time to develop the natural desire to exercise but decided that if this natural desire doesn't lead to me exercising than I will force the issue when I drop below 200 pounds. Getting closer. I have been thinking more and more about exercising. Hasn't produced results yet but one thing that's changing is my internal reaction to the thought of exercising. It's no longer, "exercise - yuck!" but "exercise, that sounds like a good idea". Like I said, no results yet but I'm moving in the right direction. I don't want to force the health issue this time, I want to evolve to a place where it is really me just living my internal state. Warning...psychobabble ahead.

I've been working on stuff in therapy for the last year and things have really intensified lately. I've figured out that my weight is really about my wanting to be invisible. I don't want to be seen. I think that becoming comfortable with being seen without feeling exposed and vulnerable will help clear out some of my subconscious reasons for eating. Also, I think that by addressing this "stuff" I will learn to feel my feelings without fear and will no longer rely on food to avoid my feelings. It's not that any of this is conscious but in working on these things in therapy I'm learning more and more how really powerful these subconscious beliefs and ideas are. My husband is so helpful too, he's really helping me to feel safe and grounded. Okay, no more psychobabble for today.

Here's to a wonderful week ahead!!

Failed Prediction

Well, when I said I was anticipating a gain this week looks like I was off. I LOST 1.4 pounds this week. Yay! I had not been tracking my eating and that's what made me think I'd gain, but, in retrospect, even though I've not been tracking I have been eating pretty decent. My new thing is rice cakes with a little peanut butter on 'em. Yum.
What I really need to do is start exercising. Blah, blah, blah. Words. Let me stop now.

Not throwing in even a tissue

it's no surprise i haven't been around for a while. i gained 1.8 pounds last week and anticipate another gain this week. last week i went away for my mother's birthday, a weekend in st. helena. we drank and ate and sat around the pool doing nothing for the entire weekend. then this week i did a lot of the same during the weekend which seeped into this week. well, we'll see what i have in store for me tomorrow when i weigh myself. i'm not throwing in the towel. i think it's time to get my ass off the couch and exercise. i think i need to get moving. i was watching a movie tonight and in it this guy was running on a treadmill and i thought that seemed relaxing. anyway...progress not perfection, eh?