Live & Learn

Live and learn...that's what I'm trying to do. I didn't go to the gym today. This is my second day off this week. I have a plan for the rest of the week. I'm going to go on Thur and Fri, which will make four gym days this week. On Saturday I have plans to go on a symbolic New Year walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. Wanted to do it closer to New Years but the weather was too crappy. The bridge walk is a total of 3.5 miles including some stairs leading up to the bridge. It will be a nice, outdoor physical activity. Right in line with Lifestyle Change as opposed to Diet.

For lunch today I had leftover salmon. Man, it was good. Eating healthy is underrated. I enjoy my meals so much more when I'm eating well.

Dinner was grilled rib eye steaks, thin cut, cooked on the actual grill. Before I'd eat a whole thick cut steak. Now, I ate 1/2 of the thin cut, which was a little less than 3 ounces. I'll admit, it was a pretty measly amount, but I had enough food and I will enjoy the other half tomorrow. If I had the points I would have eaten the whole thing.

At the grocery store they were giving away samples of weight watchers food. They had some of the cakes and muffins out. I tried the caramel cake, it wasn't bad. I took a chocolate muffin to try some other time.

I honestly can't believe I'm wearing a size 14. Literally, it is hard for me to take in as part of reality. I don't know how to fix this problem. It doesn't matter how thin I get, I always think I need to get thinner (which, right now, I actually do need to get thinner). If you had asked me last year how'd I feel to be in a size 14 I would have said "thrilled". And I am, but not really. How do I celebrate and enjoy where I am while I strive to improve? Instead of doing that, I focus on what's still not right, on what's wrong. I look down at my belly and it looks huge (but it is huge...ugh).

Ok, enough negativity. What's going right? I am enjoying my meals. I'm learning to balance exercise. I like getting dressed in the morning. I am walking up the (big) hill to my office without getting winded (big accomplishment for me!). I run up the stairs in my condo instead of limping along like I often did before. I am happier. I get out more and do a lot more interesting things. What else?