Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Grinding to a Halt

I am doooownnn in the dumps.  I don't know if it's post bliss blues or what but I have been in a bad mood since getting back from Yosemite.  Part of it is being tired of feeling tired.  Another part is probably related to TTOTM (which started the day before the trip) and I'm sure part is related to being off my normal food/exercise routine.  I didn't go on my long run on Sunday because my body just needed rest and I was tired.  I ended up not doing anything on Monday either.  Tuesday came and I was in such a funk I just didn't care about dragging myself to the gym.  Oh, yes, and I've had an off-and-on headache since getting back.  Maybe that's about the processed food.  My head has been all over the place - am I anemic?  should I try going gluten free?  maybe just get more sleep on a consistent basis.  Who knows, all I know is I've been eating like crazy (chips, crackers, cereal, candy - you name it, I've been eating it - except fast food, things aren't that bad) and suffering from that old "I don't care" attitude.

I woke up yesterday (Tuesday) morning and weighed myself.  I'm up nearly 5 pounds from 1.5 weeks ago when I finally hit normal.  Hopefully at least some of that is lingering TTOTM weight, but I know it's not all that.  For the day it furthered my crappy mood but by the time this morning rolled around I was seeing things with a little more clarity.  What am I going to do?  Put on 10 pounds and then dig myself out of that hole?  Or am I done?  Am I going to go back to eating crap and not exercising?  No.  I need to do whatever I can today to intervene.  So I decided to eat light today for a couple of reasons, 1.,  to remind myself that I can, that I do have control when it comes to food and 2., to try and establish a bit of balance in my calorie intake this week.  So I had my normal coffee, cereal/milk for breakfast.  For lunch I had a Special K meal bar and fruit.  I had a string cheese for an afternoon snack and for dinner I had a grilled chicken breast with quinoa and a 1/2 of an avocado.  I just finished a hot cup of tea.  And my mood is a bit better.  I still don't know when I'm going to get back in the gym, maybe tomorrow.  I know when I do I will start feeling better but I also know I'm not going to apply too much force at this early point.  Now, if Monday rolls around and I still haven't exercised I will apply whatever force it takes to drag my ass into the gym.

But I am doing something, I have an appointment tomorrow with the doctor.  I'm going to ask to have my iron checked and see what else she offers up.  Oh!  Another thing I've been noticing is I have a slight wheeze in the afternoons.  It's very slight, I'm sure others can't hear it.  I thought it was related to allergies but I still have it even if I take an allergy pill.  Sometimes it gets worse when I exercise.  So I'm also wondering about some lung issues, asthma (exercise induced or not), allergy stuff or who knows what else.  So I'll be asking the doctor about this too.  One good thing is, I'm pretty sure she's not going to tell me that I'm tired all the time because I need to lose weight.  If she does, we might have a problem ;)  If you've been overweight for a long time then you know that almost every medical issue can be, at least partially, attributed to needing to lose weight.  Not this time, doc, not this time.

6 comments:

  1. Hang in there my friend! Hope you can get it all figured out at the doc. I am feeling down also. I have having some hip pain that has slowed me down. Going to have it checked out on Monday.

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    1. Thanks Nicole. I'm starting to feel better. My hips are aching right now too, but I think it's just from my long run today. Hope you get good news on Monday!

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  2. Michelle,

    Hang in there Michelle, do not give up. I know exactly how you are feeling. We went on a family vacation last week with five grandchildren and what I ate was not on the top of my list. After tending to the children and activites all day exercising was not an option. I choose to collapse on the couch or bed. I feel crappy also and I know it is because of all the junk food I have been eating. GOOD FOOD = GOOD MOOD!! I have decided to challenge myself to complete 100 miles either walking or riding from today to October 13th?? Come on you can turn it around! YOU GO GIRL!!

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    1. Definitely not giving up Vanessa. Thanks for the encouragement. I love the good food = good mood part! 100 miles in one month, 3-4 miles a day - wowza! YOU go girl!!

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  3. I love how real you are! I found your blog through a Google search for weight loss blogs and it is definitely my favorite so far.

    This is a great post and so encouraging! I also have blown it the past week and haven't eaten what I know I should. Today I am eating right and light! It's inspiring to see your thoughts and struggles reflect my own, and you move past them back on track!

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    1. Thank you. These "real" posts are often the hardest to write. I feel like it's going to get old, like "why hasn't she got this figured out yet?!". But I'm glad they help, it's real, that's for sure. It's all part of the journey. If it were easy, everyone would do it, right? And if it were perfect, it's not sustainable. So we're doing great! Keep it up.

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