Napa Sonoma Ride Redux, but first...A Scale Rant

Before I yap on and on about the goings on of my week I want to rant about something for a minute. The Scale. We all know The Scale can be a cruel and unusually mysterious creature. I've had my share of moments standing there naked, post-restroom, pre-breakfast, with both a boggled and angry look on my face. The Scale does not always make sense. And the reason it doesn't make sense is because The Scale only tells part of the story. I know I say this a lot but only because it's true.

Being pregnant, my relationship with the scale is changing. Oh, I still turn to the scale for information, but for some reason this different relationship has given me a new view of my old friend. And I'm not liking a lot of what I'm seeing.

I've tried to organize my thoughts into a list. Without further ado...Here are Five things about The Scale that drive me crazy

1. The Scale does not have all the answers. If I were to tell you, "I'm going to make a recipe and the ingredients are beef, brown gravy mix, dried Italian salad dressing mix, ranch dressing mix, and water and then asked, "What am I making?," would you know? Highly unlikely, right? Why? Because you don't know the amounts of ingredients, you don't know the preparation, the cooking instructions, etc. Would you be upset with yourself for not knowing? Would you be baffled as to why you don't know? Of course not. You'd say, "How could I know? I don't have enough information!" Well, to me, that's what we expect of ourselves when we hop on that scale, see a number we didn't expect and then get upset. So many things go into our weight - calories in, temperature, sodium in, waste out, time of day...the list goes on and on. The Scale does not have The Answer...it really doesn't.

2. The Scale reveals minute changes in our weight. We say things like, "I don't understand, I ate healthy, exercised...why am I up .4 pounds?" Point 4 pounds? Seriously? My scale gives my weight down to 1/10th. Most of the time I think that's a good thing. But sometimes it's not. We lose perspective. We seem to forget that at 164 pounds .4 is a .2% change in our body weight. Not even 1%, not even a 1/2 of a percent...but .2% people! Why are we reacting to this?

3. The Scale is a progress report on our goal of improved health. As if they are one in the same. If I gain one pound this week (imagine I'm not pregnant but still trying to lose weight) you might hear me say something like, "I had a bad week." But whoa...what if I'd gone to the gym 5 days that week and reached a personal best on the treadmill? What if I resisted giving into a Taco Bell urge on my way home from work after a stressful day? What if I learned a new healthy recipe version of my favorite comfort food (that I actually like)? Those are all fabulous accomplishments that will serve me in my long term goal of weight loss and health. They are also signs that I am indeed living this new healthy lifestyle. They contradict my earlier conclusion that I had a bad week. Don't they?

4. The Scale tells us how to feel. Why do we let the scale effect our mood? Why is The Scale the one that tells us how to feel? What to think? What to do next? Well, partially, I think, because it gives us (in seconds) something concrete to focus on. Measuring ourselves takes time, and it might take weeks before we see a change. Weeks? Are you kidding me? Why wait weeks to get feedback on how I'm doing when I can hop on the scale in the morning, mid-morning, afternoon, late afternoon, evening, late evening...etc, etc. I've read more than one post in which the writer weighed herself and was up a tiny bit more than she wanted to be. She did some shenanigans (losing the clothes, using the restroom, etc) and hopped back on. Lo and behold that extra weight is gone and happiness ensues. Something is just not right with that picture. And yet I've been that person so many, many times.

5. Despite all of the above, The Scale does not go away. I've met those woman who never weigh themselves. They say honorable things like, "I let the fit of my clothes tell me if I need to start eating less." These people have somehow broken free from the cruelty of that little measuring device. I think it's great. I wish I could do it. Well, obviously I don't because I haven't. I'm as addicted to that instant feedback as the next girl. Even though it doesn't always make sense, it can put me in a bad mood, it lies (oh and don't think it doesn't, it will lie straight to your face without a second thought), it's unreliable and inconsistent...even though I swear it hates me, I won't get rid of it. And neither will you. And that's the worst of all.

So what inspired me to put together this list? You. As I was riding my bike today I started thinking about some of the anguish, the torture, the pain I've read lately in some blogs. Women truly, seriously frustrated, women confused, women depressed. And I've been that woman, I am that woman too. I wrote this list to try and break us free from the insanity. We need a new relationship with the scale. How to do that? Well, give me time, I haven't had that epiphany yet :) The good news is we weigh ourselves because we are driven, we want to get healthy. And we want to know how it's going. We weigh ourselves because we care. I think it's what we do with the number that gets a little screwy.

That's enough of that. Let me tell you how things have been going here. I went to my swim class on Wednesday evening and once again felt great when I left.  Too bad that didn't translate into any other exercise for the week.  Finally today, Sunday, Miguel and I went for a bike ride.  I decided to take him on the ride I did last week, the Napa to Sonoma and back 30-miler.

The weather was cooler than last weekend, which is nice. We had a very nice ride to Sonoma and once there we happened upon a celebration for Mexican Independence. There were dancers and singers and it was an awesome little surprise.

After watching the dancers for a while we went to a deli and purchased some food for an impromptu picnic.

I had some egg salad on lettuce with tomatoes, cucumber and carrots and we shared some salami, cheese and bread.  It was a great little lunch.  While we were eating the mariachi band was playing and it all felt so perfect.

On the ride back I really paced myself.  I remember how I pooped out last Sunday about 7 miles from the end.  I didn't want that to happen again, and it didn't.  I felt good the whole ride, save a little bit of a sore butt and legs now and again.  Here I am on our return leg.

 

What a picture perfect day, right?  

Well, that's about it for me.  It's late and I'm tired.  Off to enjoy some sleep.  Have a great week everyone!!

Oh, and by the way, the ingredients mentioned earlier are for "To Die for Crock Pot Roast"

Things Only Get Better

So far, this week is going pretty well. I haven't made any drastic changes in the food department but most of the out of control eating has stopped. I got on the scale though and I am nearing 170! That really freaked me out. This weight gaining thing is going to be hard psychologically, especially when I'm going over what the nutritionist recommended. I am constantly feeding myself positive affirmations about what I am now doing right and reminding myself that I can't undo previous food choices. I am back to see Christine, the nutritionist, next Friday and will have to admit I haven't been tracking (which I just sneaked into admitting here). To give you an idea of my current food I'll run down today's food plan:

Breakfast: Special K Protein Plus & FF Milk
Snack: Banana with 2 TB of Simply Jif Peanut Butter
Lunch: Tri Tip (probably 5+ ounces), steamed rice (~a cup), zucchini (look Ma! It's a veggie!)
Snack: FF Cottage Cheese and Mixed Fruit Cup in Lite Syrup
Dinner: ?? Probably some incarnation involving Ground Turkey Breast, Roasted Broccolini w/ Olive Oil
Dessert: Some 100 calorie treat

Hopefully I can stick to this and not sneak in a few cookies, graham crackers, chips, M&M's, or whatever else tempts me.

I had my monthly OB appointment on Monday afternoon. I was very anxious to confirm that the little guy is alright. I think having had a miscarriage just makes me very nervous. I held my breath while the doctor looked for his heartbeat with the Doppler thing. When she found it I teared up and just took it in, "I never get tired of hearing that." She just let it sit there for a few moments while I listened. Now that I am officially, officially out of the 1st trimester and have confirmed he's alive and well in there I am feeling much more relaxed.

So I went to my swim class on Monday and once again left feeling on top of the world. I can't say often enough how happy I am to have that class. I think it's keeping me sane despite the scale. We did some drills that involved swimming 3 laps fast. I was definitely breathing hard but I don't think I overdid it. Plus it was for 1 min 15 sec at a time. And I learned have a pretty strong breaststroke kick. I was flying by the other swimmers :) I'm looking forward to going again this evening. I don't know what my 3rd workout type activity will be this week. It's supposed to be hot this weekend so I'm thinking of the beach for Saturday with Miguel, which won't be a workout. So Sunday I'll have to come up with something. Maybe I'll visit that place, what's it called? The gym? I have been wanting to do some light weight training.

Guess what? I got a haircut!! I've been thinking about it for a while and finally took the plunge earlier this week. Nothing too drastic, just shorter, with some layers in the back and around my face. I don't have my normal camera so here's a phone picture. I'm really liking it. Part of why I went shorter was so I would wear it down more often. So far, so good. But man am I getting a lot of gray hairs!

Well, that's it for me. I'm off to enjoy my lunch.

Music, Cycling and Onion Rings

Don't those go together well? Okay, maybe not but they were all present in my weekend. Miguel has realized that he now has the best excuse to make me get rid of some of our stuff my junk, "we need to make room for the baby." He doesn't understand why I need to own so many books, especially ones I've already read. And I do have a tendency toward things in a frame - art, photos, artistic photos. We have stuff tucked under the bed, hiding under the coffee table. Anyway, we spent Saturday going through the living room book shelves and hiding spots and throwing out stuff we don't need. Admittedly I didn't get rid of many books - I'd already purged when we moved here and what's left are my favorites. But we got rid of lots of other junk. Why did I even have 4 boxes of pencil lead? I don't even use mechanical pencils.

Saturday evening rolled around and we had tickets to see Dave Matthews Band at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. I bought these way back when and honestly admit I wasn't as excited to go. A late night, lots of smoke in the air (which, not being cigarette smoke it really isn't that bad), general admission seating. Ugh. I wish the concert had made up for all that but sadly, we weren't thrilled. We were sitting on a slope all evening and our butts kept going numb. Granted it was our fault for not getting there sooner to get seats but I also didn't want to arrive 2 hours early. The music was good but they tend toward long, jammish versions of their songs so we often didn't recognize what we were listening to. And, and I'll admit this really peeved me, they didn't play Crash Into Me, my favorite DMB song. So I went home a little disappointed and really tired with a sore backside.

When I woke up this morning I felt pretty tired and seriously considered canceling my planned bike ride. But I thought, "What will I have done this weekend if I skip this ride?" and, "What am I going to do all day, sit on my ass?". So those two thoughts got me out of bed. On the way there I started to get really nervous about my ability to keep up. I kept reminding myself I could turn around if it got to be too much. We met up at a diner next to a wharf along the Napa River.

We got riding and I was in the middle of the group, with some ahead of me and some behind me. Things were going smooth and I was feeling good. The weather was gorgeous and the surrounds of rolling hills and vineyards can't be beat. Around mile 10 I decided to slow down to ride with a friend that I enjoy chatting with. She was the last rider and was happy for the company. We arrived at Sonoma Plaza and took a little rest. Here's a picture of some of our group during the break.

We headed back and some of the riders decided to do a side route that included a big climb. I passed on that one. I rode back with the same woman that I was chatting with and by about Mile 23 I was feeling really pooped! Good thing I rode with her at the slower pace because I don't think I would have had enough gas in the tank to make it back if I'd kept up that middle of the pack pace. I felt a little shaky and it was getting pretty hot out so I just took it easy, ate my ShotBlox, drank a lot of water and enjoyed the scenery. I posted the route to mapmyride, click here to check it out.

When we got back to the diner we went in for lunch. I did some stretching and then sat down to a patty melt and onion rings. Shhh! The view of the river was peaceful and there was a nice breeze. We sat around chatting for a bit and I admit, I was happy I made myself get out of bed. This 30 mile ride really got me thinking about the 26 mile bike leg of the tri in October. I don't think I'll know until mid October how doable it will be for me.

I will consider this weekend a success. My eating still leaves a lot to be desired but the good thing is I am thinking a lot about the changes I need to make. That's usually the first step in my change process. And I'll be making a healthy dinner to balance out the fatty lunch.

I'll close with a picture of some grapes. Everywhere the vines were heavy with them and they were just gorgeous with the sun shining on them. And given my status this is as close as I can get to wine at the moment :) I hope you all had a great weekend too!!

Update: I just got emailed a picture another rider took. It's so cute I want to share it too!!

Lame Excuses and Leaf Turning

So here's the deal. My eating is out of control. The less than stellar food choices started almost as soon as I went off Weight Watchers but the eating really got out of control when the exhaustion hit. It felt pretty clear to me that I was eating junk for two reasons, 1- to comfort myself and 2- because I had that, "I feel like crap and I don't care I'm eating this," rebellion attitude. Oh and also I think in the back of my mind that whole, "I'm pregnant" thing added to it.

Well, those first two excuses are not really valid anymore (and the third was never a good reason to eat junk). I don't really need the comfort, I'm actually feeling alright these days, which also means I can't exactly rebel against feeling like crap. Now I'm left with some bad habits I developed over the last couple of months. Want a doughnut while grocery shopping? Sure! Feel like you want to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? And a Reese's Sticks? Why not? Yes, I've slipped into this thing where I barely deny myself any food thought that comes into my head. And it's not good.

So my weight fluctuated some in the first trimester. I started at 164.4, went down to 158.8 and then went back up to 164.9 by last Friday. My nutritionist viewed this as me gaining only .5 pounds in the first trimester. Fine, I'll take it. But, at our appointment last Friday she instructed me to gain no more than 3 pounds in the next month. Guess how much I've gained in the first week? 2 pounds. Yep, 2 pounds! That's not going to work. My eating has to change.

By the way, she has me on track to gain 25 pounds during the whole thing. That sounds reasonable to me. I read a lot of articles that said overweight women should shoot to gain 15 pounds. That just sounds kind of crazy to me. 25 seems reasonable and like something I can live with. But I have to sort of chuckle because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I've never been pregnant. I don't know how "reasonable" it will be to gain 25 pounds. But, it sounds good so I'll go with it.

So, my eating has to change. I'm in a pattern of saying that and then not changing. For example, yesterday I wanted a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Brought on by my eating some individual Hershey's bars at the office. Chocolate begets chocolate in my world. Anyway, after work I got the peanut butter cups and the aforementioned Reese's Sticks bar too. Oh dear. I'm telling you this in the hopes that I can stop being in denial. So I ate them and then felt like crap. Now my eating that started out as a way to make me not feel like crap is making me feel like crap.

I want to change, I enjoy healthy foods more than chocolate. Weird, but on the whole I believe that's true. Chocolate is a nice treat but when I eat two candy bars in a row after work I can't honestly say I enjoy them, you know what I mean? I'm supposed to be tracking my eating for Christine (the nutritionist) but haven't been. I'm going to go track my breakfast right now. Alright, that's done. I'm turning over a new tracking leaf today! Right now!! [By the way, in regards to my eating plan, 1 protein = 1 oz. So 4 proteins = 4 oz of lean meat. It's not as much as it sounds.]

Really quick...I started my swim class on Wednesday. After work I looked up the class schedule to confirm the start time of 6pm and guess what? The class started over 2 weeks ago!!! On 8/18! Holy Toledo! I couldn't believe, and still don't understand how, I screwed that up. I went to the class and told Jean I had the wrong start date. She hadn't dropped me, thank goodness.

She's also fine with me being pregnant, "It seems like every year I have at least one pregnant lady, it used to freak me out but now I'm used to it." She gave me a lecture on taking it slow, listening to my body, not letting my heart rate get too high. I love her. She's so awesome. So I got into a lane with three ladies and we did some drills. Freestyle, kicks, backstroke (which I had to learn!). I felt so great after the class. I was all fired up to go weight training the next day, Thursday, which didn't, ahem, happen. But, I'm so glad to be taking this class. Like I said before, if nothing else I'll be getting 3 hours of exercise per week.

I'm hoping this will kick my eating into gear. When I'm exercising the food thing seems to come easier. I just need to get in one more day on my own. Maybe I'll go to the gym today and do that weight training.

What's on tap for this weekend? Well, tomorrow I'm hoping we can hit the beach. We're in the middle of a heat wave here in the SF Bay Area and that cold bay water sounds good right about now. Then in the evening we're going to see Dave Matthews at The Greek Theater. Yay! I'm excited. And on Sunday I am going on a group 32 mile road ride in Napa, "For the most part this is an easy bike ride over mostly flat and some mild rolling hills through back roads and vineyards...". Yeah, that "for the most part" part makes me nervous! I'm going to let them know my status though and hope they'll feel particularly patient as a result :)

I hope everyone else has fabulous weekend plans too. Let's get out there and live!

Labor Day @ Angel Island State Park

Thank you all for your Congratulations and Well Wishes, it feels really good to have so much support and encouragement!

So the biggest things that have changed in my life since Week 6 of my pregnancy have been diet and exercise. Like I said, I was hit with a month-long bout of exhaustion that really cramped my style. I've definitely lost my momentum and now that my energy is returning I need to get it back. A good description of what the tiredness has been like is that every day during that time I felt like I hadn't slept in 2 days. Now I just feel like I stayed up too late last night. I yawn a lot during the day and just feel like I'm dragging a little bit. Not enough of an excuse not to exercise, right?

You might remember that I signed up for a swimming class for this fall semester. Lo and behold it's here! I start tonight with my first class. Jean is my teacher and I'm so excited to see her again. I know she'll motivate me. The class is Mon & Wed 6-7:30pm so if nothing else I will be getting at least an hour of exercise twice a week. That's much better than the near-nothing I've been getting. I'm hoping this will motivate me to sneak a little weight training back into my life. I'm scared to think how much muscle I've lost over the past month or two.

This past weekend Miguel and I did something that's been on my list for a while. We took ourselves and our bikes on the ferry to Angel Island. We were a little surprised at the cost of the ferry, $15 each! Anyway, it was a beautiful day and neither of us had been so off we went. The views of San Francisco from the ferry and island are incredible so we took lots of pictures. Here's a picture from the ferry of the Golden Gate Bridge and the bay.

How beautiful is that? Once on the island we checked out our options. There are a couple of paths around the island, one follows the perimeter of the island, is on the easier side, and is about 5 miles. The other is an inner circle that is a little harder but shorter. We opted for the longer easier one. Here I am at our first photo stop.

I love this city. That's the Golden Gate again in the background and my beloved mountain bike in the foreground.

And both of us at our next stop...

And me wading in the cold but refreshing water at a beach stop...

There were a couple of hills during the ride and I did my very best to take it easy and slow. One of the hills was a kind of big and long so I just put it in the granny gear and slowly made my way up. I have to admit, it's not easy to keep myself from really pushing, but from everything I've read online a little exertion is not going to hurt the baby, as long as I stay hydrated and don't get too hot. And I was drinking a lot of water all day since it was a scorcher and we were in the sun most of the time. Just to prove I took it easy...

Here I am resting toward the end of the ride. Miguel got bored after a few minutes while I could have dozed off for a little nap if he would have let me!

After our ride I tried to get Miguel to do the 3 mile inner loop as a hike but he'd had enough of the sun. I wasn't exactly full of energy myself so we caught the ferry back to Tiburon. I was wanting a burger so we found a burger place and I indulged in a burger and onion rings. At least the burger had lettuce and tomato on it! I've been struggling with getting veggies in. Normally I eat veggies with lunch and dinner but they've been a huge turn off to me. I can't wait until my taste for veggies returns!

So that was how we spent our Labor Day Monday. I'm so glad I still have some endurance left. Now it's time to step up the eating and exercise routine. Speaking of eating...

The plan the nutritionist put me on is based on food group/serving size eating.

Breakfast: 1.5 Milk Servings, 2 Starch servings, 1 Protein, 1 Fat

Snack: 2 Proteins, 1 fruit

Lunch: 3 Starch, 2+ Vegetables (ha!), 4 Protein, 1 Fat

Snack: 2 Starch, 1 Protein, 1 fruit

Later Snack (if needed): 1 Fruit, 1 Protein, 1 Starch

Dinner: 3 Starch, 2+ Vegetables, 4 Protein, 1 Fat

Desert: 100 calorie desert

Sounds like a lot of food, right? I am supposed to be tracking my food to go over with her but I've been slacking on that as well as on following this plan. I'm paying the price in the regularity department for skipping the veggies. I need to make a menu!! I'm also taking a Calcium supplement, Iron Supplement, and a Prenatal Vitamin. Unfortunately Weight Watchers does not allow you to participate while pregnant, they don't have a plan for preggers ladies who shouldn't be losing weight, but I'll be right back on it after the little one arrives. I still want to get to goal some day!! I WILL get to goal some day!!