Popping Iron (or: Yes, I'll stop diagnosing myself and see a doctor)

Holy Toledo, it's been a week since my last post.  The thing is, I've been feeling really tired in the evening and haven't had the focus to write.  I also had a couple episodes of feeling so dizzy when I stood up that I thought I might faint (no, I am not pregnant).  Somehow the idea that maybe I'm anemic came to mind.  I looked up the symptoms and being tired, dizzy and leg cramps were all noted.  Some of the symptoms I don't have are a rapid heartbeat (especially with exercise), shortness of breath and headache, difficulty concentrating (wait, didn't I just say I haven't had the focus to blog?), pale skin (how can you tell, it's summer) and insomnia.  So many subjective symptoms.  I hardly ever eat red meat, though I do eat a lot of black beans and I think they have iron.  Another thing I learned is you can be iron deficient for reasons other than an iron deficiency (like a b12 deficiency).  Interesting.  Anyway, I took an iron pill leftover from my pregnancy but have since decided I should probably go to the doctor to see if I'm really anemic before I start supplementing on my own.  No more popping iron for me.

The good news is, it hasn't stopped me from getting my exercise in.  My eating is another story.  But let's stick with the good news.  Last Thursday I did my 25 minutes on the bike followed by chest/triceps/core.  On Friday I did a 25 minute treadmill run.  It was Friday so I was particularly tired.  Fortunately there were two chatty women next to me talking about their school-aged kids/teachers/friends/etc drama.  Is it eavesdropping if you have no choice but to listen?  I can't wear headphones on the treadmill.  Anyway, between their stories and House Hunters International the run went by fairly quick.  Notice I said quick, but not easy.  I had to really push myself.  After the run I did back/biceps/core and looked forward to the weekend. 

Saturday Miguel had to work and I happily kept a low profile with the kids, soaking up having little to do.  That evening we had some neighbor friends over for dinner and I ate grilled chicken and potato salad with little concern for calories, fat or points.  On Sunday I did a run starting at my front door.  I had to get back to take the kids to a birthday pool party so I planned to do an hour run, about 5 miles.  I did a loop and when I was about 2/3 of the way I realized this was going to be more than 5 miles.  In the end I ran 6.25 miles in 1:06, a 10:33 pace - totally respectable.  I was, however, very excited to run over 6 miles and feel pretty good afterward. 

Back at home I had a quick shower and took the kids to the pool party.  It was a great time and the kids were totally exhausted after all the pool fun.  I had some birthday party food, including cake!  I love me some birthday cake.

Monday was back to the gym routine.  I did 25 minutes on the upright bike followed by legs/shoulders/core work.  I was pressed for time so I had to push myself as hard as I could to get through the workout quickly.  In the 51 minutes I spent at the gym I burned 400 calories; not bad, right? 

I forgot to mention that my "official" training (for the Livermore Grape Stomp 1/2 Marathon) has started.  In case you forgot...

Week	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thur	Fri	Sat	Sun
1 (8/27 – 9/2)	Bike + strength	4 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	8 m run
2 (9/3 – 9/9)	Bike + strength	4 m AM run	Rest	Yosemite	Yosemite	Yosemite	6 m run
3 (9/10 – 9/16)	Bike + strength	4.5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	9 m run
4 (9/17-9/23)	Bike + strength	4.5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	10 m run
5 (9/24 – 9/30)	Bike + strength	5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	9 m run
6 (10/1-10/7)	Bike + strength	5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	11 m run (?)
7 (10/8-10/14)	Bike + strength	5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	12 m run
8 (10/15-10/21)	Bike + strength	4 m AM run	Rest	2 m run	Bike + strength	Rest	Half Marathon

As you can see, this Tuesday morning called for a 4 mile morning run.  My alarm went off yesterday at 5:15am.  I'd laid out all my running gear the night before but it still took more than 10 minutes to talk myself out of bed.  I've not been much of a morning runner.  I feel so stiff and everything feels just a bit harder than usual.  But I did get out of bed and did the 4 miles in about 43 minutes, a 10:48 pace.  Slower than the 6 mile run despite being flatter.  I need a morning run pace handicap.  Running before dawn is a bit scary too.  I stayed on what is normally a really busy street but at 5:30am not too many cars out.  When a man came running toward me from across the street I realized how vulnerable I was.  Fortunately he was just out for a run too.  Maybe I need a concealed weapons permit.  Or maybe a self defense course and some pepper spray is a more reasonable plan.

Today, Wednesday, is my day off from the gym. And normally from work too but I have gotten very behind on some data entering stuff so I had to go in today to work on it.  I spent the whole friggin' day entering data into the computer and only got half done.  Told you I was behind.  Let's hope this teaches me a lesson and I don't get behind again. 

We are about to enter party planning mode for Myra's 2nd birthday and then I've got to get ready for the Yosemite backpacking trip a week from today.  Someone told me the 10 lakes trail is "steep at first, but don't get too freaked out, it levels off some."  Too late; I'm freaked out.  So I looked up a description of the trail. 

Ten Lakes trail, in the backcountry of Yosemite, climbs 2,500 feet over the course of 6.5 miles of rugged terrain, then descends into the valley that nestles these remote lakes. The elevation rise is unrelenting, but the scenery is spectacular, ranging from thick pine forest, to rock shelves, marshy meadow, to steep climbs beside running falls.

Uhhhh...maybe I should have read this before I signed up for trip.  I don't doubt I can do it, it's a question of how long it will take me.  I hope I don't hold people up and embarrass myself to boot.  And what about bears?!  I need to stop thinking about all of this, stat.  I know at least one of you is an avid backpacker, do you think I'll survive? 

Ok, it's 9:45pm and I think I'll hit the hay.  Night all!

p.s.  I didn't mention the banana chocolate-chip bread I made or the homemade lemon gelato I also made.  I have eaten quite a bit of both.  Ahhh, I feel better somehow :)

Fast Approaching "Normal"

I'm coming up quick on a very busy few weeks, I feel tired just thinking about it.  First up is Myra's 2nd birthday party over Labor Day weekend.  Fortunately we're just having a casual backyard party without the bells and whistles.  Last year we did a big thing at the local pool but we're taking it a bit easier this go 'round.  That's quickly followed by the first real board meeting of the year for our mothers club.  That will be relatively easy, it's just a matter of getting organized ahead of time mostly.  Then, that evening I'm driving most of the way to Yosemite for my girls backpacking trip.  I'll get up Thursday morning and drive the rest of the way.  I'll have to be crafty and organized to keep everything rolling until I get to Yosemite, then I can drop all the mental stuff and just put one foot in front of the other on the trail.  Add to that I'm behind at work so I'm going in next Wednesday (my day off) to do some catching up.  It's my own fault, not being as efficient lately as I should be.  Anyway, if my blogging trails off over the next few weeks you'll know why. 

To get back to the topic of the day (food and exercise, what else is there?), things have been going great.  And if I can hang on tonight and resist the incredibly powerful urge I'm feeling to eat a bowl of cereal (that I don't need), I'll be doing even better.  Monday I went to the gym and rode the bike for 25 minutes.  It's the first time since getting sick that I did my "normal" plan, 25 minutes on level 8.  Whew, it was tough!  I was sweating like crazy.  After that I did chest/triceps/core.  I'd forgotten my workout book and had to try and remember my routine.  I remembered everything but dips.  And I did too many pushups.  Three sets, 12, 10 and 8 reps.  Normally I do 10, 9, 8.  Guess I need to do 12, 10, 8 from now on since I know I can.  Overall my workout was good.

My eating (until this afternoon/evening) was very good.  I've been especially motivated and tracking 100% of my food intake.  Take a look at the dinner I made myself Tuesday evening. 

Black beans, quinoa, zucchini, avocado and pico de gallo...Yum!

I really enjoyed that meal, very comfort foody and satisfying.  I've started cooking my quinoa in chicken broth and it's super yummy!  After work I'd gone to the gym and did a 25 minute run on the treadmill.  I gotta admit, it was a challenge.  I found myself watching the clock.  I probably should have done an outdoor run.  I did my normal 6mph but every 5 minutes I did a 7mph interval for one minute.  After the run I did legs/shoulders/core.  I decided to drop curtsy lunges, I felt just the tiniest twinge in my right knee when I did them.  But that was enough to scare me off them, knees garner a lot of respect with me.  So I'm doing side lunges instead (even though they feel really easy so I'm not convinced they are working anything in particular). 

I've been on this roll of motivation until I made a tactical error with lunch today.  Instead of my normal protein heavy lunch I had a relatively small amount of fried rice.  Point heavy but protein light.  I've learned that my body needs a good amount of protein to stay satisfied.  That left me feeling like eating the rest of the afternoon.  Well, that and being home.  It's SO much easier to stay on track at work.  I did my best to avoid food overload but I managed to tip myself into the red with Points.  Even if I stay within my points tomorrow and do my normal workout I'll still finish the week -2.   I honestly don't care about a measly two points, but I really don't want to make matters worse by eating a bowl of cereal tonight.  I had a very satisfying dinner (chicken breast marinated in curry spices, quinoa, green beans and a bit of Miguel's white rice and avocado) but sometimes once the "eat, eat, eat" feeling gets going no amount of food seems to end it.  I'm not eating the cereal.  There.  It's done, I've decided.

On a more positive note I am on the brink of "normal".  My blog's tagline is "Follow along as I strive to be normal...on the BMI scale anyway".  Well, all that striving is going to be a reality soon.  Could be this week, maybe next, maybe the following...all I know is, it's close.  And I'm feeling a sense of excited anticipation.  When was the last time I was in the normal category for weight?  Probably 15 years ago, maybe more.  And that was a relatively short-lived time in my life.  I've spent almost my entire life being overweight ("obese", actually) and have been on this current journey 5 years, 6 months and 8 days.  Talk about sticking with it.  And I'm being taunted by cereal?  Sometimes I forget how determined I can be. 

Gardening and a Trail Run

It's not even 9pm and I'm in bed, which is good.  But with my laptop, which is not so good - though I'm going to sleep right after I finish this post.  This weekend has been fabulous!  It started with a great workout on Friday.  I didn't make the same mistake I made on Thursday (going to the gym on a totally empty stomach), this time I had an AccelGel on my way and that made a huge difference in my energy level.  Friday was the last day of my "recovery" week (after being sick) but I was feeling ready to tackle Level 8 on the bike so I did, but instead of my normal 25 minutes I just did 20.  The bike went well, I managed to keep to my normal rpm plan.  After the bike I did legs/shoulders/core for strength training.  I saw someone doing squats on an upside-down Bosu, so of course I had to give it a try.  My legs were all shaky but I could definitely do them.  Not going to be adding that to the routine for now but maybe later.  The gym went great but I was totally wiped out afterward.

My gardening digs

Saturday was a day off from the gym but not from work.  I walked with the kids to the local garden store and bought some plants (lantana, penstimon, geranium, echinacea and pink yarrow) to replace the ones the gophers ate.  This time, as a defensive move against the gophers, I got gopher baskets to protect the plants.  I hear it sometimes doesn't work.  We'll see.  I spent the entire afternoon digging holes and planting the plants.  Growing up I thought gardening was the worst form of torture.  I must be getting old because I'm starting to enjoy it.  But I worked my butt off.  I planted a fountaingrass in a new spot and ended up running into a huge root that I had to break up.  Man, that was tough, so much that I gave myself 1 activity point for the gardening. I was a little worried I would wake up sore from all the manual labor but I was fine.  After a day out in the sun gardening I was too tired to cook so we had fish sticks (Trident from Costco) and french fries (Alexia sweet potato fries) for dinner.

Today we spent the morning at home and then Miguel took the kids to watch a soccer game while I went to the gym.  At first I planned to do a 4.5 mile loop from my gym but then I remembered it's Sunday and I should do something I can't do during the week - a trail run it is.  I did the Indian Valley trail loop that I always do.  I debated 2 vs 3 loops during the first loop and came up with a new running rule for myself, never think about when you're going to stop while running uphill.  In the end I decided I had enough to do 3 loops, plus a little extra to make it a full hour.  My pace wasn't record breaking but I was happy to be under 12 minute miles given the terrain and my ongoing recovery.



I ran just over 5 miles, stretched my legs some and then took the short drive to the gym to do chest/triceps/core work for strength training.  I did my full workout, even a few extra pushups, and then stretched. I am so stiff!  I think it's going to take a couple weeks for me to loosen up.  But what a triumph!  I'm back!!  I felt motivated all weekend and this great workout topped it off perfectly. 

My mom came over and made dinner - chuck roast with mashed potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob and asparagus, plus I had a glass of wine.  Ohhh, it was all so good.  I ate more than I needed but I enjoyed it and tracked it all so it was a regret-free meal (I don't really feel guilty anymore about "bad" food choices but I do sometimes regret bad choices).  After we cleaned up and spent a little time playing with the kids I came to bed.  I'm wanting to get a good night sleep after this very active weekend.  Ugh, I wish tomorrow wasn't Monday.  But on a good note, I've gotten through the weekend with 9 activity points remaining, those will do me some good since I wiped out my weekly points on dinner tonight.

This is the first weekend in what seems like forever where we had no plans, and it was lovely.  Ok, that's it from me.  Nighty night!

Heart's Desire Beach and the Promise of a New Week

Ah, Fridays...the end of the work week and the start of my WW week.  I weighed myself this morning and was very pleased to see 151 on the scale.  Virtually the same as last week.  I've been eating very "loose" these past few weeks, sparked mostly by being sick.  But I also seem to be in a mild slump, which is fine.  I was interviewed yesterday for Heather's podcast on halfsizeme.com and we were talking about slumps.  Her theory is that "dieting" is mentally hard and that sometimes we just need a break.  I like that idea, so I guess these last couple/few weeks have been a bit of a break for.  I've hardly been tracking but I've been doing plenty of snacking.  I know the magic of behaving this way and *not* seeing a gain on the scale won't last forever though so I'm feeling fired up that it's Friday and I can start fresh!

I went to my meeting today for the first time in a couple weeks.  I'd had scheduling issues and then I was sick so I missed my meetings.  It was good to get back on the scale and back into a room where I feel so much support, understanding and can share in the group motivation.  I even shared my before picture with the women sitting next to me, they were blown away.  Heck, I'm blown away when I look at those pictures.  Who was that girl?

Anyway, last week was pretty good.  I went to the gym on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.  Monday went really good but come Tuesday morning I was hurting.  Amazing that just 8 days off can do that.  My legs were sore and my whole body was tight and achy.  But I plowed through and went on Tuesday, doing the bike for 20 minutes (I dropped to level 5, my "recovery" level) and then chest and triceps.  This whole week I'm following my Week 4/recovery week plan - less sets/time/resistance.  After the bike I did chest/triceps/core.  The pushups were hard!  But I did them.  I even grunted some.  I know how much my fellow gym-goers like my grunting (not).  I was happy to have Wednesday off from the gym.

On Wednesday I went with some of my favorite momma friends to the beach with all the kids in tow.  We finally checked out Heart's Desire Beach on Tomales Bay and it did not disappoint.  Best beach for kids, I can't believe I waited this long to go.  I spent the day playing in the sand, flying a kite and chasing down straying toddlers.  It was a perfect day.  And exactly the kind of day I would have avoided, and missed out on, in my past life.

Building sandcastles

Heart's Desire Beach.  Look at that gorgeous weather!

I drove home the long way so the kids would have a bit more time to nap in the car.  Marek was so wiped out that he slept in the car for another hour after we got home!

Yesterday (Thursday), I hit the gym again. I'm still coughing a fair amount, which is annoying.  I suspect the other people at the gym wonder why I'm not home resting.  But I feel fine, despite the cough.  Yesterday was the first time in what feels like forever that I had that "I don't want to go to the gym" feeling that I used to have all the time.  My feeling of not wanting to go was all mental and it scared me a little, I haven't felt that way since I started back after Myra was born.  In any case, I procrastinated for a while and then I went.  I waited so long I wouldn't have been able to do my whole workout but I called Miguel and he was able to pick up the kids.  That was good.  So I did a 20 minute run on the treadmill, which was actually quite a challenge given my lungs situation, and then I did back/biceps/core for strength training, which was also hard but I did it.  Part of the problem was that I had no afternoon snack so I was just dragging.  I'm looking forward to getting my dominance back in the gym.  If I'm still coughing by the end of next week I'm going to the doctor.

Well, that's it from me.  I'm about as pumped as I can be about this being the start of a new week.  I'll hang out in this mild slump for as long as I need to. Even if I stay this weight for the rest of the summer I know I will be ok.  I'm so:close to my next mini goal of 149.9, not to mention to my overall goal, but I will get there when I get there.  As much as I want a quick fix, and I do - just as much as the next girl - I know that doesn't work for me.  I have to keep doing what I know works.   

Looking Forward

Stop the train, I want to get off!  I'm on the sick train and it's not fun.  But I'm getting better.  Last week was horrible, I missed a bunch of work and I hobbled through life.  Friday I only managed to get in a half-day at work.  The rest of the day was spent lying around watching the kids play while Miguel put his newly beloved backyard shed together.  I still had a painful cough but the body aches were gone, thank goodness.

Saturday we hosted a neighborhood party at our house.  Besides all the fun socializing mostly what I remember were the chips.  It seems like everybody who came brought a bag.  There were even Doritos!  Oh my goodness, it was the beginning of the end of my poor eating choices for the weekend.  Another neighbor brought two boxes of mini drumstick ice cream cones.  I had one or two of those.

Sunday I'd hoped to go to the gym.  I hadn't exercised since the Friday before when I did my big hill bike ride.  I was still coughing a lot but I could have gone.  But instead I chose to garden.  Between the gophers and the deer about 10 of our plants were eaten since I planted in the spring.  So I hit up the garden store and got lantana, penstimons, and other low water, deer "resistant" plants.  I spent all morning digging and planting.  It was definitely work and I was tired and sun-drained when I finished so I decided Monday was going to be my back-to-gym day.

But before that...the mini drumsticks and I had a run-in.  The kids were down for their naps and Miguel was at his soccer game.  Me, alone with a freezer full of drumsticks - not good.  Not good at all.  I probably ate 5 or 6 of them when all was said and done.  And I finished off some of the chips.  And I felt like crap afterward.  Mostly physically but also mentally.  I haven't gone much into my whole peri-menopause stuff but I hadn't had a period since June until TTOTM started earlier last week.  So I decided to blame that.  That and being sick, feeling sorry for myself...just generally being low on mental energy in the face of all of the above.  I'm purposefully not using words like "weak" or "no willpower" because I've really come to believe they are negative and moralistic in their use and that really it's not about that.  It's about mental energy and how much of it I have on any given day, at any given moment.  And about how events, feelings, situations, etc come together to inform my decision making.  Blah, blah, blah I ate a ton of drumsticks and chips.  Life goes on.  I focus on making a better decision at my next meal.  And I put all the remaining drumsticks down the garbage disposal (on Monday, when I was thinking more clearly).

Speaking of Monday, it was a better day to be sure.  I went to the gym after work, despite continuing to cough, cough, cough.  I didn't care, I just wanted to exercise.  I debated the bike vs. treadmill but in the end a run sounded better than anything.  I hopped on the treadmill and after warming up I started running at 5.5mph.  It felt slow so after a minute I increased to 6.0mph.  I was feeling pretty good so I went ahead and did 7.0 for one minute at every 5 minute interval.  By the 15 minute mark I was feeling challenged so I decided to go for 20 minutes and call it a day.  Normally I do 25 so this was a very good first-day-back effort.  I did legs/shoulders/core for strength training.  I followed my recovery week routine, which is to do the same stuff, just fewer sets.  It felt very good to be exercising and I was very pleased to see that my body still works.  I had a healthy dinner (thank you Foreman Grill) and all was right in the world.  But later, after the kids were in bed, I started snacking on some cashews and chocolate chips.  Yum.  I ate too many of those.  But now they're gone.  And with that, the drumsticks being eviscerated, and my house being back in its general "clean" food state, I'm feeling like things are returning to normal.  Oh, the funny thing was I ate the nuts and chips while watching a running movie, "Running Brave" about Billy Mills, the first (and only) US runner to win Olympic Gold in the 10k. 

Ok, enough about this past week...I have some exciting stuff on the horizon.  In early September I'll be hiking in Yosemite.  I'm going with a group of women on a backpacking trip into the wild!  I think we're hiking something like 7 miles (6? 10?, I can't remember) in.  We'll be camping for two nights and then hiking out.  I've never been on one of these trips where you carry all your stuff with you, toilet paper and all, but I'm super excited!  I just hope I'm fit enough that the trek isn't painful.

Next up will be the Grape Stomp Half-Marathon in Livermore on October 21st.  That's only 10 weeks from now!  So I made up a training plan for myself loosely based on Hal Higdon's Intermediate plan.

Week	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thur	Fri	Sat	Sun
1 (8/27 – 9/2)	Bike + strength	4 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	8 m run
2 (9/3 – 9/9)	Bike + strength	4 m AM run	Rest	Yosemite	Yosemite	Yosemite	6 m run
3 (9/10 – 9/16)	Bike + strength	4.5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	9 m run
4 (9/17-9/23)	Bike + strength	4.5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	10 m run
5 (9/24 – 9/30)	Bike + strength	5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	9 m run
6 (10/1-10/7)	Bike + strength	5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	11 m run (?)
7 (10/8-10/14)	Bike + strength	5 m AM run	Rest	3 m run + strength	Bike + strength	Rest	12 m run
8 (10/15-10/21)	Bike + strength	4 m AM run	Rest	2 m run	Bike + strength	Rest	Half Marathon

How's that look?  Reasonable, yes?  Other than those Tuesday morning runs.  I'll have to hit the pavement by 5:30am to get the miles in.  That should be interesting. I'm doing this half-marathon with a few other mom friends so that makes it even more fun.

Then, in November and only 2 weeks after the half-marathon I've got the Marin Triathlon where I'll be tackling the Olympic distance for the first time.  Wowza!

So I'm thinking I might want to do one smaller event before the half-marathon and I'm eyeing the Run in the Park at Tilden in Berkeley in September.  It's a trail run and I'd do the 5k.  It's only $28 and it's on a Saturday so Miguel and the kids can come.  Maybe this will be the first time they see me cross a finish line.

Bottom line, there's lots to look forward to, and that's what I'm doing...looking forward.  My house is clean, my body is healing and my attitude is, well, let's call it pretty good.