Stress, Changes, and a Good Time for All

Wow, time flies when you're having fun. Or when you're crazy stressed out. Unfortunately it's been more of the latter for me. But things are settling some now so I can finally share some updates. The biggest update is I got a job!! Taking this new position was a very big decision for myself and my growing family. At present I work in the next town over. My commute, depending on when I leave for work is anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes. And I'm never that far from home. The new job is in San Francisco. An hour commute, minimum, plus being far from home. Miguel already works in The City so we might be able to carpool together. Still, we're talking a 10+ hour day. The thought of that with a new baby really caused me to take pause. But then I watched the news, remembered that the economy is going down the tubes, and realized this is not a good time to be jobless.

I was also nervous about starting a job already pregnant. Would my new boss be upset that he hired a pregnant woman without knowing it? I decided, after a lot of thinking, just to tell him. He responded wonderfully. He strongly encouraged me to take the position and assured me we would work out any issues around the pregnancy. Now this is a man I want to work for. Further, this a great opportunity, working for a well established institution with a great compensation package doing an interesting job.

So, this is my last week with my current employer. I am taking two weeks off between jobs and have a lot to squeeze into that time. Miguel and I decided to take a final pre-baby vacation. We were all over the map as far as where to go, at one point furiously planning a trip to Egypt! But, we settled on Phoenix. A long way from Egypt I know. In the end we didn't want to spend a ton of time (or money!) getting to our vacation and recognized that what we most wanted was to relax. So, we're off to Phoenix at the end of the week. We're spending about half the time at a spa/golf resort (The Boulders) and the other half at the Grand Canyon. I am so, SO, SO ready for a vacation. The next week will include visiting my grandparents in Huntington Beach, getting my 20 week ultrasound (at 21 weeks actually) and maybe squeezing in a visit to the new California Academy of Sciences. Then the new job starts. Whew, it tires me out just thinking about it.

So the health/fitness goals have been moving along at, well, let's just call it an acceptable pace. I have not missed a swimming class, something of which I am very proud. I basically make myself go and am almost always happy I did. The two weekends before this last one involved a lot of nesting type activities and no fitness type activities. We almost have the baby room completely cleaned out, the garage is a lot neater and our living room has been pared down to make room for a pack-n-play or baby bouncer or whatever stuff will be coming into our lives.

Finally this past weekend I got out there again and had a fabulous day!! We rose early on Sunday morning and met at the SF Ferry Building for a group ride. We rode over the Golden Gate Bridge, through Sausalito and to Tiburon. This ride is often called the Paradise Loop, and I've been wanting to do it since I started riding. Only difference being we took the ferry back into SF from Tiburon instead of riding our bikes back. Still, it was over 30 miles and enough to kick my butt.

Here we are re-grouping on the other side of the bridge before we head into Sausalito.

Am I looking preggers or what? Everyone was so nice about waiting for me since I was a bit of a slow poke. I wore my heart rate monitor and anytime my heart rate got to the high range I slowed down. All in all I felt great and it made me very optimistic about my upcoming triathlon run.

To top it off, it was Fleet Week in SF and we were treated to a fabulous air show by The Blue Angels. Days like that just make me so happy and grateful. Miguel is a wonderful husband, we had a great day together. The weather couldn't have been more perfect and the pregnancy is going along without a hitch.

Speaking of the little stowaway, we purchased this doppler and have been listening to his heartbeat whenever we feel like. It's an amazing, miraculous sound that we never tire of. If we can figure it out a way, I'm hoping I can post a sound file of it to share. We are nowhere near a name for the little guy. But as Miguel keeps reminding me, we have time.

I'm going to see the nutritionist tomorrow and I'm guessing I'll have gained about 5 pounds. You might recall I was supposed to gain no more than 1.5 pounds. What can I say? While I'm not doing the best I can I am trying. I'm hoping that with my stress now going down I'll have more energy to resist the "bad" comfort foods I've been wanting. I'm going to strive to eat healthy and exercise during my vacation. At least I know I'll be relaxing, which is good for all of us too.

That's my update. I have been neglecting your blogs as well as my own these past couple of weeks but I promise to stop by soon. I know you've all been up to incredible things and I want to know all about them!!

Good Intentions and Bad Habits

"I'm not going to walk to my appointment tonight. I'm tired. That's it, I'm driving."

"But if I don't walk I'm going to feel crappy later, I'll feel like a dud for skipping my walk and not accomplishing anything."

"Ah, but I'm tired so I'll just relax for an hour and then drive."

"But what will I do? Sit around on the couch for an hour? I should walk."

"But If I'm going to walk I need to leave now and I want to relax for a while."

"Though If I walk I might feel better after. Who am I kidding? I know I'll feel better. I'm just going to change and leave for my walk and stop thinking about it."

Oh those battles. Getting myself out the door for my walk on Tuesday was no easy feat. My good intentions and my bad habits had it out. My good intentions won! I had a similar battle to get myself to swim class this past Monday. At 5pm I was definitely not going. By 5:45 I was in my swimsuit and heading out the door. Making it to that swim class was no small victory. Fortunately it wasn't such a battle getting to swim class tonight. I wore my heart rate monitor again and burned 600 calories in the 1.5 hour class.

You win some, you lose some. That's what they say. And I lost some this week too. On Monday night I waited too long to eat and ended up giving in to a fast food hamburger and two tacos for dinner. Then in our 2 hour staff meeting on Tuesday I had a huge chocolate chip cookie, followed by a slice of lemon pound cake a 1/2 hour later and later, a mini brownie. I can't say I'm proud of these choices. I also didn't get any activity in this past weekend. First time in a long time I've been inactive all weekend. Proves that I need to have plans or I end up with nothing doing.

I realized on Monday that I'm under a lot of stress. The work thing has been stressful. I've never been jobless when I didn't want to be. I also have a family thing that is highly stressful (not pregnancy related at all). And then the pregnancy, diet/nutrition/exercise issue adds a little stress. Generally I think I was in denial about the overall stress level. I don't know if the food choices are related to that or not. Sometimes I think I have just so much fight in me and when times get tough and my fight gets focused on other things I give in to the food. Live and learn.

So the work thing may be resolved. I don't want to jinx it so I'll hold off on making any official announcements but my stress in that area is easing up. More to come.

Oh! I have all my plans for the Marin Triathlon firmed up. I've got a swimmer and a cyclist lined up and I'll be doing the run. I'm very excited!! When I got pregnant I thought that meant the event was out. I am very pleased to still be participating. I plan to do a walk/run combo based on my heart rate. It's 6 miles and I think that's very doable. Still, I plan to sneak Miguel on the run course with me - If I poop out or otherwise need to stop we're going to switch the timing chip and number to him and he'll carry the torch to the finish line. He's my pinch runner!

Well, I need to start thinking about my weekend plans. Don't want to end up doing nothing again. The weather is supposed to be rainy and chilly on Saturday so I'll have to get creative. Haven't been to the gym in months so maybe it'll be our time to get reacquainted.

The Good, The Bad, and the Wonderful

Forgive me Al Gore for I have sinned, it has been 6 days since my last blog post.

As far as my week goes...

The Good:

1. Tracked...for a full seven days!
2. Got in an extra day of exercise when I walked 3.5 miles to an appointment instead of driving.
3. Had vegetables with nearly every dinner.
4. Started process of changing workout room to baby room.
5. Received four bags of cute baby boy clothes from a friend!

The Bad:

1. Gave in to temptation at the office...more than once. No, I didn't have an affair with the geeky/sexy finance guy. It was See's Candy. And peanut M&M's.
2. Was insufferably irritable for 2 days straight and for the first time really wanted a glass of wine. I was so cranky Miguel informed me he's never getting me pregnant again. I had ice cream for dinner that night.
3. So far this weekend I haven't done any recreational stuff. And if I don't do something today that extra day of exercise will no longer be an extra day.
4. Am getting laid off at the end of October.
5. Chocolate covered peanut-butter-stuffed pretzel squares. Mitigating factor: There were about 10 left and I stuffed 'em down the garbage disposal.

The Wonderful:

1. Haven't gained any weight according to the scale this morning.
2. In the middle of the night last night when I came back from the restroom Miguel reached over and put his hand on my belly.
3. Mom offered to pay for my Cobra health insurance premiums after I'm laid off. Oh, and thank you in advance America, i.e. Taxpayers, for unemployment benefits.
4. Shoshana made goal! We all know what a huge accomplishment this is. Congratulations Shosh! You worked hard, you persevered, and you ROCK!

Something Clicked! ....and Hiking in Robert Louis Stevenson State Park

I've got it! That elusive thing called motivation. It's not seeping out of my pores or anything but it's enough that I want to track and feel a real desire to meet (but not exceed) my weight-gain goal. I'm feeling real ownership of this goal. I started my meal tracking at GoogleDocs and plan to waltz into my nutrition appointment with one month of tracking.

My returned motivation is partly due to all the encouragement you guys gave me. As the "You can do it!"'s and the "We believe in you!"'s came in something just clicked in my brain. Yes, I can do it. These people know my struggle and they believe and by golly they are right! A million thank you's for the support, it really makes a difference in my life.

So what else have I accomplished this weekend? I've been hankering for some hiking and when Weekend Sherpa described a hike in Robert Louis Stevenson State Park above Calistoga in the Napa Valley, well, it was just what I was looking for. The weather was beyond perfect, sunny but not hot, a nice breeze now and then, enough clouds in the sky to provide gorgeous backdrops and welcome shade.

We started out headed for Table Rock, a rock formation that's supposed to be out there somewhere. It wasn't very far into the hike before we got huge payoff views. Here I am at the first vista.

Did I lie about the gorgeousness of it all? This was less than a mile in.

And just around the bend, another beautiful view of the Napa Valley. Here's my favorite hiking buddy posing for me :) I really couldn't believe that this awe-inspiring hike was hiding away up here.

About 1.3 miles in we came upon an incredible rock formation. Big huge pieces of rock jutting out of the ground. I felt like a kid in a playground. We climbed all over it and had fun taking pictures and posing like we'd summitted Mt. Everest.

Hi!!

Notice the sky? Days like these fill me with gratitude. We decided this was the perfect spot for lunch. We had deli sandwiches and fruit. I had a chicken breast sandwich on whole wheat bread with avocado. That and my banana was a meal I could feel good about.

The views were nearly 360°. Here I am dangling my feet like a little girl.

After lunch we carried on toward Table Rock. We practically had the place to ourselves. We saw only a handful of people all day. But probably the greatest thing about this hike, besides the views, was the changing landscape. We'd go over barren, rocky patches and then be pushing our way through 6' tall vegetation and manzanita bushes. Miguel was having all kinds of fun playing with all the rocks. He got a little big for his britches though when he tried to move this one!

For a while in college I considered majoring in Geology, I just love rocks and terrain and stuff. How excited was I when we came upon a rock garden, with a labyrinth! Out here in the middle of nowhere!

I almost feel guilty sharing all these pictures with you. But come to Northern California!! I promise we'll share :) Here's Miguel next to another fabulous rock thingy. Made me wish I had my old Geology teacher, Mr. Hamilton, with me to explain what all these things were.

So we were happily hiking along and enjoying the scenery when we started to wonder if we were ever going to get to Table Rock. It wasn't getting late really but we also didn't want to push it and have to hurry back to the car. We decided to hike a little while longer and see what we see. While I wouldn't describe the hike as grueling, we were both sweating and some of the uphills had me breathing deeply. I'd forgotten to wear my heart rate monitor, which bummed me out. I feel better when I know I'm not pushing it.

Anyway, further hiking brought us no closer to anything that looked like Table Rock so we decided to turn back. About a half-mile back we noticed another trail that we probably should have taken. We hiked down that for a bit and decided it was probably the trail to Table Rock. But by this time we were both sort of ready to make the return trek to the car.

So, sadly, no Table Rock for us. I can't say I'm disappointed. The weather, the beauty, the rocks, the blue sky, the breeze, the clouds...my plate was overflowing. We hiked 4.3 miles in all. But with the sometimes treachourous terrain it really felt like more. All told we were out there about 3 hours.

My aunt is in town visiting my mom so on the way home I decided to call and see if they wanted us to stop by for dinner. Yep! We decided on Chinese Food. I probably burned a ton of calories during the hike, and I'm not supposed to be losing weight, so I decided Chinese Food was an acceptable choice. We had a nice dinner and by the time we got home I was exhausted! I slept so good last night.

Next week I'm shooting to track all week, get in two additional days of at least 30 minutes exercise, and reap the benefits of my newfound motivation. Oh! In my next post I need to update you on my plans for the Oly in October, the Marin Triathlon. Rest assured, I will be there one way or another!!

Do You Really Want to Know?

Yes, I think I do. Well, maybe, okay...yes, please tell me. Even though it will hurt, and I might cry.

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This past week has been okay on the food/exercise front. I flipped out a couple weeks ago when I shot up to over 170 but I think the swim class and somewhat improved eating kept things from getting out of control. Out of curiosity and concern I wore my heart Polar during swim class on Monday to see how high my heart rate was getting. It stayed mostly in the 140's-150's, which is a comfortable range for me. During the 1.5 hour class I burned 600 calories. That was a particularly tough class, Wednesday seemed easier, though I didn't wear the Polar so I can't be sure.

I went to see Christine today, my pregnancy nutritionist. As you might recall (wait, did I even tell you this before?), between our last appointment one month ago and today's I was supposed to gain no more than 3 pounds. We have a goal of my gaining 20-25 pounds during the pregnancy. Can I do it? Will I do it?

Well, if I'm going to do it I need to buckle down. So, did I gain 3 pounds over these past four weeks? Yes I did...and then some. I gained 5.5 pounds. I'm now 170 pounds. Yikes! Please, I know I'm pregnant and pregnant women gain weight but I must have a moment to freak out. Especially because I need that freak out energy to motivate me for what lies ahead. Are you ready for this? In the next four weeks Christine wants me to gain...no more than 1.5 pounds. Can you say Yowza! According to Christine my response to that number did not sound very confident.

I asked her if that number is realistic. Is it really realistic for me to go from 15 weeks to 19 weeks pregnant and only gain 1.5 pounds? She assured me it is. Dammit! She graphed my recent weight gain and if I stay on this course, well, things could get dire. The truth is I don't want to have a ton of weight to lose after I give birth. I don't want to have to deal with that extra stress when my little one and I are hanging out at home getting to know one another (!!). So, this is my goal, right? No one is forcing this on me. That's something that is so easy for me to forget.

I did a little photoshopping to really drive home the point of what I'm trying to avoid. This is what I don't want to look like in 5 months. This is serious. I want to stay healthy, I want to be a healthy, fit mom.

"Women who are very overweight or very underweight at the start of pregnancy are at greater risk of developing complications during pregnancy or at delivery. For the overweight woman, these complications include high blood pressure, toxemia, cesarean birth, kidney ailments, gestational diabetes and a long labor."

A bunch of things need to change in order for me to show up to Christine's office 4 weeks from now weighing no more than 171.5 pounds. First, I need to track. I need to stop talking about tracking and actually track. I'm going to start tomorrow (don't laugh!) and put my food into a GoogleDocs spreadsheet. Feel free to follow along. Second, I need to follow the food plan she gave me we created. Funny thing about the food plan, it doesn't include tacos and milkshakes from Jack in the Box. Or nachos. Third, I need to squeeze in a little more exercise. Right now I'm going to swim class twice a week and doing something recreational on the weekend. Christine recommends adding two 1/2 hour walks per week to get up to 5 days of exercise per week. I know that would do loads for my metabolism.

How's that for some needed changes? Track, follow the meal plan, and exercise. Sound familiar? I know this, I did this for 1.5 years. I can do this.

Other small changes I plan to make include not bringing red-light foods into the house. I know I can't resist eating a whole stack of low-fat graham crackers so why buy a box? Did I get more will power along with pregnancy? No. Another thing is getting more diligent about getting my fruits/veggies in. I struggled with a veggie aversion but that's getting better and I can eat all sorts now so no more excuses. Also plan to prepare more meals at home. There's really no excuse for not making dinner anymore.

Well, there you have it.  Things have to change around here.  I showed Christine my blog because I wanted her to see what I looked like before.  I wanted her to know my fear.  After looking at the pictures she asked me, "Do you really want to know?  If things start to get bad do you really want me to tell you?"  Yes.  Yes!  I know Christine wants for me what I want for myself - a fit and healthy pregnancy.  A healthy weight gain.  A healthy baby.  A happy mommy.  I'm feeling very motivated.  I'm feeling confident.  I believe in my ability.  I know that if I really want this, I can do it.